Super Mario Galaxy 2 Turns 12!

“Why isn’t Lubba a character in Mario Kart yet?”

Well, this makes me feel old. Today, May 23rd 2022, marks the twelfth anniversary of the release of Super Mario Galaxy 2 in North America! May is apparently a fantastic month for Mario, seeing as we already had the anniversary of Super Mario RPG earlier this month. That’s two all-time greats in the same month!

Yes, somehow, it’s been a full twelve years since Super Mario Galaxy 2 was released on the Wii. The first Super Mario Galaxy (released on Wii in 2007) was already one of the most acclaimed video games of all time, and it may seem odd to remember that when Galaxy 2 was announced, the hype was somewhat restrained, with many claiming it looked like more of the same, and that it couldn’t live up to its predecessor.

Boy, were those people wrong! Despite the lofty standard set by the first Super Mario Galaxy, Galaxy 2 managed to meet and even exceed expectations, becoming every bit as acclaimed and heralded as its predecessor. And to call it more of the same couldn’t be further from the truth. Similar to how Majora’s Mask would create an identity of its own while using many of Ocarina of Time’s assets, Galaxy 2 is structurally and philosophically its own beast, despite using its predecessor as a backdrop.

“The very first image of Super Mario Galaxy 2 I ever saw.”

It’s also important to note Galaxy 2’s impact because when it was released in 2010, the video game world was all in with the weird “games aren’t art unless they emulate movies” mentality. Unless something was a Mass Effect or a Red Dead Redemption or some “atmospheric” indie darling, it couldn’t be art. I can recall at least one major gaming website once IGNorantly claimed that Limbo was a better platformer than Galaxy 2 because Limbo “had atmosphere.” But who the hell talks about Limbo anymore? Then again, people thought Ken Levine was like gaming’s greatest auteur back then. It was a confused time.

Thankfully, Super Mario Galaxy 2 prevailed in showing that pure, unadulterated game design in itself can be art. Galaxy 2 is a game as perfectly structured as any, comprised of one imaginative idea after another, each one creative enough to be a game in their own right. It’s a game of no wasted energy.

Yes, even though Galaxy 2 went against what was seen as “highbrow gaming” at the time, it has stood tall these twelve years later, and outlasted the games that were “supposed” to be the new artistic standard.

In the years since, the Souls series and Breath of the Wild have reached a similar level of acclaim to the Super Mario Galaxy duo. But with all due respect (particularly to Elden Ring) it’s fitting that Super Mario Odyssey is perhaps the only game since to match the non-stop inventiveness and pitch-perfect execution of Galaxy 2. It’s been a hell of an act to follow.

The first Super Mario Galaxy was pretty much perfect, but Galaxy 2 somehow became something more. Twelve years later, it’s still – quite easily – one of the best video games of all time.

Happy twelfth anniversary, Super Mario Galaxy 2!

“One of Mario’s best-ever power-ups. And one that’s in desperate need of a comeback.”

Now, why wasn’t Galaxy 2 included in Super Mario 3D All-Stars again?

Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers (2022) Review

*Review contains minor spoilers*

When Who Framed Roger Rabbit was released in 1988, it was a defining moment in animation history. Not only did the film meld live-action and animated characters so seamlessly it still hasn’t been matched since, but it also created renewed interest in animation itself. This renewed interest led to Disney’s ‘Renaissance’ era, in addition to inspiring other studios to throw their hat in the animation ring. Roger Rabbit’s meshing together of beloved animated characters has also had a reverberating effect, with films such as Wreck-It Ralph, its sequel and Space Jam: A New Legacy all trying something similar in more recent years. This influence even found its way into weekday and Saturday morning cartoons (remember those?), with Disney in particular creating a slew of animated programs in the late 80s and early 90s that repurposed their animated characters from yesteryear.

Goof Troop reimagined Goofy as a single father and Peg-Leg Pete as his nosey neighbor. TaleSpin featured characters from The Jungle Book in a period piece setting and focused on aviation. DuckTales – the most famous of the lot – saw Scrooge McDuck and his nephews on Indiana Jones-like adventures, much like Scrooge’s old comic books. And Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers saw the titular Chipmunks as detectives who, along with some new friends, would solve cases that were “too small” for the police to handle.

In this day and age where nostalgia (particularly for the 80s and 90s) has a strong influence on pop culture, it makes sense that we’re seeing these shows get resurrected in one way or another. DuckTales saw a successful reboot series that ran from 2017 to 2021, and now Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers has been given its own feature film on Disney+. Though it’s probably not the Rescue Rangers movie you would expect.

Rather than go for a straight feature film adaptation, this 2022 Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers is a satirical, meta live-action and animated hybrid movie that features many beloved characters from animation history… kind of like Roger Rabbit. So we’ve basically come full circle. The results are mostly enjoyable, even if the film ultimately can’t compete with the film that inspired it (or should I say ‘the film that inspired the show that inspired it?’).

Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers chronicles how Disney’s chipmunk duo first met in early 80s (strangely ignoring the characters’ history in Disney shorts decades before then). Chip (John Mulaney) and Dale (Andy Samberg) became close friends and struggled in Hollywood until getting their big break with the aforementioned series. With Rescue Rangers a big success, Chip and Dale were finally living their dream. But Dale, tired of being looked at as the goofy sidekick, tried to branch out and get a show of his own, a Bond spoof called Double-O-Dale. But Dale’s conflicting roles lead to the cancellation of Rescue Rangers, and Double-O-Dale wasn’t even picked up as a series. The Rescue Rangers cancellation caused a riff between the chipmunks, with Chip leaving Hollywood behind to sell insurance. Dale, meanwhile, continues to milk his former glory, making appearances at fan conventions. He even went so far as to get “CGI surgery” in order to stay relevant in the changing world of animation.

Fast-forward to the present, and both Chip and Dale get separate calls from their former Rescue Rangers costar, Monterey Jack (Eric Bana). Monty needs Chip and Dale’s help, as his cheese addiction has landed him in hot water with a crime boss named ‘Sweet Pete.’ If Monty can’t pay back his debt, Pete will have Monty ‘bootlegged’ (a process that alters a character to avoid copyright laws, so they can be shipped overseas and make bootlegged versions of Hollywood movies). Chip and Dale promise to pay Monty’s debt, only for Monty to end up kidnapped that same night. The police, led by the claymation Captain Putty (J.K. Simmons), are looking into it, but have their hands tied with a series of other toon disappearances. So Chip and Dale begrudgingly set aside their differences to start an investigation of their own to find their missing friend with the help of human officer Ellie Steckler (KiKi Layne). All the while, Dale hopes the team-up leads to an eventual Rescue Rangers reboot.

The setup is a lot of fun. Using a real show from yesteryear as the backdrop for a Roger Rabbit-style comedy is a really entertaining idea. And the movie is clearly having a ball with all the characters, cameos and references it can cram in. One benefit this film has is that animation has changed a lot since Roger Rabbit hit theaters, so there’s a lot more types of humor and visual styles they can squeeze in.

Not only do we have toons interacting with humans, but the toons themselves (whether existing characters or ones made up for the film) come in a range of styles, from anime to stop-motion to Michael Bay’s Transformers to the 80s incarnation of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. Sweet Pete’s gang even consists of “uncanny valley” CG characters like Bob the Viking Dwarf (Seth Rogen), who is based on the Polar Express/Beowulf era of motion-capture (complete with dead eyes and lifeless movements), and a polar bear based on the old Coca-Cola commercials. Perhaps best of all is that one of the minor characters in the film is none other than ‘Ugly Sonic‘ (Tim Robinson). That is to say, the original character design for Sonic the Hedgehog for the 2020 film that haunted that initial trailer, before internet backlash delayed the film for the redesign of the character. Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers is full of visual surprises and variety that helps keep the film’s concept fresh throughout.

With that said, there is a bit of an asterisk to all this, since most of the characters are done with CG, even when they’re supposed to be traditionally animated or stop-motion characters. The most glaring examples being Chip, Monty and fellow Rescue Rangers characters Gadget (Tress MacNeille) and Zipper (Dennis Haysbert), who are obviously created with a cel-shaded CG meant to mimic the look of traditional animation. This not only feels like a shortcut was taken, but it also kind of deflates the whole joke that Dale had cosmetic surgery to become a CG character when the supposedly hand-drawn characters around him are also CG.

That’s not to say anything against CG, of course. All forms of animation can create things of beauty and wonder. But given the premise of the movie, it feels like a bit of a missed opportunity that it didn’t go all out and capture the different characters with their appropriate medium (there are a few delightful exceptions, such as a quick cameo from Roger Rabbit himself. Because of course he’s in this movie).

While Rescue Rangers is often very funny – sometimes outright hilarious – it does admittedly have a few jokes that it doesn’t know when to let them go. Most notably are the constant remarks about reboots, which after a while may become as insistent as the reboots they’re commenting on. The humor can even feel a little bit smarmy at times, which is a trap the more earnest Who Framed Roger Rabbit never once fell into.

Something else I have mixed feelings about is the film’s villain, Sweet Pete. I guess this is something of a spoiler (though the trailers already blatantly revealed it, and the reveal happens somewhat early in the film), but Sweet Pete is revealed to be a fat, balding, middle-aged Peter Pan (Will Arnett). On one hand, the idea of a middle-aged Peter Pan and Arnett’s voice work are funny. But on the other hand, the idea of “evil Peter Pan” is becoming almost as cliche as the evil Superman trope. Plus, Sweet Pete’s motive is that he became bitter once he got older and Hollywood forgot him, which seems kind of weird since the Disney version of Peter Pan is still a decently popular character who shows up here and there (this origin story is made even weirder with how Peter Pan is inexplicably the only toon in the movie who has aged). It seems like Disney could have used a more genuinely forgotten character to go with the backstory, like McLeach from the Rescuers Down Under, or Gurgi from The Black Cauldron. But now I’m overthinking things.

None of these complaints are dealbreakers, however. Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers is a fun and funny movie that should be doubly entertaining for fans of animation and the people who grew up during the time when shows like the original DuckTales and Rescue Rangers were still airing. It’s a film filled with visual delights and fun callbacks and references for fans. The smart-alecky attitude of the film holds back some of the humor, and no, it’s certainly no Roger Rabbit. But Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers is certainly one of the better Roger Rabbit imitators. And it may be the only time we ever get to see Ugly Sonic in a movie.

7

Super Mario RPG Turns 26!

Today, May 13th, 2022, marks the twenty-sixth anniversary of the release of Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars on the Super Nintendo in North America (it was released in Japan two months prior). I know, you’re probably thinking “twenty-six is a random anniversary to point out for something like this.” And you may have a point. But last year I (of all people) failed to write about Super Mario RPG’s twenty-fifth anniversary! I wrote a bunch of anniversary posts for other things in 2021, yet failed to acknowledge the anniversary of what is most likely my favorite video game of all time. So consider this my recompence.

Come to think of it, I failed to mention Paper Mario’s twentieth anniversary in 2021 as well (and its twenty-first a few months back)… I’ve become everything I’ve ever hated.

Anyway…

Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars was released on the Super NES twenty-six years ago, and instantly became one of the most beloved Mario games and RPGs of all time. Although its release being so late in the SNES’s lifecycle – as well as the release of the Nintendo 64 and Super Mario 64 a few months later – may have affected its sales somewhat at the time, Super Mario RPG would still prove to be a success. And true to its name, it became something of a legend in the video game world, with word of mouth helping its reputation grow over the years.

“The best battle system.”

Sadly, Super Mario RPG seems to be the one Mario game that won’t get a sequel. Although it would inspire the Paper Mario and Mario & Luigi sub-series (and influence many other RPGs outside of the Mario series), Super Mario RPG itself has only continued on through a few cameos and a couple of snippets of music in subsequent Mario games. Despite fans’ persistent yearning to see the characters and elements of Super Mario RPG make a return, their pleas continue to fall on deaf ears.

There is a glimmer of hope, as Chihiro Fujioka, the director of Super Mario RPG, has recently expressed his desire to create a sequel to the SNES classic as his last game before retirement. Fingers crossed that Chihiro Fujioka gets his way.

Even without a sequel, Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars has left an indelible mark in Nintendo history and earned its legendary status. It’s the game that gave the Mushroom Kingdom a story, introduced the world to Mallow and Geno, made Bowser the most likable character ever, and made turn-based battles way more fun! A legend? Oh, you better believe it!

“In what other game can Bowser do battle with a giant cake?”

Happy Twenty-sixth anniversary, Super Mario RPG!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go listen to that godly soundtrack again!

Happy Star Wars Day 2022 + The Avengers Turns 10!

Happy Star Wars Day, everyone! May the Fourth be with you and all that!

Yes, today (May 4th) is the fan holiday in which we celebrate all things Star Wars. The good, the bad, and the Jar-Jar.

Star Wars has seen a lot of ups and downs over the years, but its place in pop culture history has long-since been solidified. It’s the movie world’s most indelible mythology, and has won over our hearts so strongly that it endures even passed its most egregious mistakes (“Somehow Palpatine returned…“).

Happy Star Wars Day you stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking Nerf herders! May the Fourth be with you!

“The ultimate counterargument to people who say the prequels had the best fights. Ugh.”

Today also marks the ten-year anniversary of the release of Marvel’s The Avengers! Yes, much like Palpatine’s return, somehow it’s been a full decade since The Avengers was released. Man, I feel old…

Back in 2012, there had been no big superhero crossover movies. Marvel had been slowly building up to it since 2008, when Iron Man kicked off the MCU. We all take it for granted now (and perhaps even Marvel itself does), but in 2012, seeing Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, Hulk, and the B-Team of Black Widow and Hawkeye come together for the first time was magical.

One could even argue that the Marvel Cinematic Universe peaked with the first Avengers film. The “Battle for New York” is still probably the best battle sequence in the entire mega-franchise. While later Avengers movies would tread darker, more serious territory, 2012’s The Avengers was a pure fun delight that remains as entertaining now as it was ten years ago, long after the initial hype has died off (something not a lot of MCU films can boast).

I remember, on this day ten years ago, I actually saw The Avengers twice! I saw it at one theater with one group, and then immediately went to another theater and saw it with a different group. I can’t say I’ve done that with a whole lot of movies.

“Back when Loki was interesting. Man, this movie really is old!”

The Avengers also proved to be one of the most influential films of recent memory, with every studio under the sun trying to construct their own “Cinematic Universes” in an attempt to replicate what Marvel accomplished with The Avengers (though only Legendary’s Godzilla and Kong-fueled “MonsterVerse” has somewhat succeeded). It’s the kind of influence I’m sure James Cameron wished Avatar had.

The MCU has gone a lot of places in the past ten years, with bigger crossovers and larger storylines. But some of that “pure fun” of The Avengers has been lost along the way. Sure, the MCU films are still mostly good (Eternals was a glaring exception. And Loki was kind of a “jump the shark” moment for me). But as the MCU has grown bigger it’s also become a bit too in love with itself, and at times cynical (again, Loki basically said every MCU event before itself was meaningless. Way to pay off fan investment). And the standalone stories are kind of giving way to everything being about the overarching plot, as if Thanos never left.

But in 2012, it was just six super heroes banding together, in a movie that had all the unadulterated enthusiasm as a kid playing with their action figures. And it was good.

Happy tenth anniversary, Avengers! And one more time, May the Fourth be with you!

My Month in Movies: April 2022

I guess I have another “My Month in Movies” left in the tank. Despite my saying these things aren’t going to be monthly, I’ve ended up doing them almost every month since I started doing them last October (for movies I watched in September). The only exception was February. Seeing as Uncharted was the only movie I watched during that whole month, I guess it makes sense I skipped it.

Still, I don’t expect to continue to make these kinds of posts regularly (I say that now). I still have movies and games from last year I’ve been meaning to review but still haven’t. I should really get to those soon. But, this month had a bit of a theme going, so I figured I’d make another My Month in Movies for the occasion.

That theme was video game movies! Although I watched a few films outside of the category, I watched six video game movies in April, and I couldn’t resist writing about them.

In total, I watched nine movies in April of 2022. Again, movies marked with an asterisk are ones I watched for the very first time.

Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)

Sonic the Hedgehog 2*

The Last Blockbuster

Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore*

Double Dragon

The Bad Guys*

Mortal Kombat (1995)

Street Fighter

Super Mario Bros. (1993)

So again, you could say video game movies were the name of the… game! Ho ho! It’s just unfortunate that I didn’t get around to watching Mortal Kombat Annihilation or the 2021 Mortal Kombat reboot as I originally planned. Maybe I’ll do another video game movie-themed post in the near future as an excuse to watch them.

I know, I know, video game movies don’t exactly have the best reputation. But as I’ve stated in the past, the earlier entries in the sub-genre are like guilty pleasures. They tended to be dumb and goofy, but they were so bad they were entertaining. It was probably in the 2000s when video game movies became unspeakably bad. But, as I mentioned in my reviews for the Sonic movies and as I’ll soon mention here, video game movies have now found a way to be genuinely good.

My first movie this month was a re-watch of 2020’s Sonic the Hedgehog, AKA the last big movie before the pandemic (seriously). I love this movie. It has its problems, but I kind of don’t really care. It’s a fun movie that pays respect to the video game series (something not a lot of video game movies have done), and it gives Jim Carrey an excuse to be the most manic he’s been since the 90s. And as Dr. Robotnik, one of my all-time favorite video game characters, no less!

Sure, the structure can be a little flimsy at times, and the movie really jumps through hoops to try to explain why Sonic needs help from his human friend Tom Wachowski (James Marsden). But again, if I’m watching a movie based on Sonic the Hedgehog and starring Jim Carrey as Dr. Robotnik, I mostly care that the movie is fun. And 2020’s Sonic the Hedgehog is just that, fun.

And let’s all be grateful that the filmmakers and studio decided to redesign Sonic after that horrifying first trailer. Otherwise the film wouldn’t have worked (can’t really make a kids’ movie based on a classic video game character if that character gave kids nightmares), and we probably wouldn’t have gotten its superior sequel without the change.

Also, something to note: in my original review for Sonic the Hedgehog, I mentioned the only piece of music from the games that made it into the film’s score were a few renditions of the iconic Green Hill Zone theme. But that’s inaccurate. There’s one other musical number lifted from the games, as the film begins with the opening theme from Sonic Mania! That’s a really nice touch!

My next movie was logically Sonic the Hedgehog 2. Boy, this film did not disappoint! It’s a bigger, better sequel, pays even more loving homage to the games, features Tails and Knuckles, and Jim Carrey looks like Robotnik this time around (minus the round belly. Though word is Jim Carrey has wanted to portray a game-accurate Robotnik since the first film. Maybe by the time Sonic 3 rolls around Jim Carrey will go full Eggman with a fat suit). Yes, it can get goofy at times, but that’s hardly an unforgivable sin.

The simple fact is that Sonic the Hedgehog 2 is some of the purest fun I’ve had in a movie in years. I think it’d be fun even if you didn’t know the games. But this is a movie that really cares about going the extra mile for the adults who grew up with Sonic the Hedgehog, and the kids who are growing up with Sonic the Hedgehog. Something like that is becoming pretty rare in this day and age.

Perhaps in retrospect my only real disappointment (besides the mid-credits tease) is that, unlike the first movie, I don’t think any of the music from the games made it into the film’s score. That’s doubly a bummer given how awesome that snippet of Emerald Hill Zone from the film’s teaser was.

Next up we take a break from video game movies and go into movie movies. Or movie documentaries. Or video rental documentaries. I’m talking about The Last Blockbuster, okay!

The Last Blockbuster was released in 2020, and chronicles how Blockbuster Video went from being a brand as big as McDonald’s to going broke and dwindling down to a single store (in Bend, Oregon). It’s a fun, nostalgic documentary that showcases some of the boneheaded business decisions Blockbuster made over the years (like not buying Netflix early on when they had the chance, and that illogical “no more late fees” thing). It really makes me miss the days of going to Blockbuster to rent a movie (or video game) every week. Hell, it makes me miss the days when I ordered movies in the mail from Netflix!

In the days before the internet, I discovered a number of games just by scrolling through Blockbuster shelves (I must have rented Brave Fencer Musashi at least a half dozen times before actually buying it). It’s kind of a shame we can’t have anything like that anymore. Damn internet.

The Last Blockbuster is definitely a fun watch, though I do wish it found a greater variety of film buffs to interview on the subject (a minute of Kevin Smith is too much Kevin Smith for me).

Going from Blockbuster and back into a movie theater, my next movie was Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore. Boy, are the subtitles for this series goofy.

I’ve actually been meaning to review this one, so I won’t say too much here. In short, I think The Secrets of Dumbledore is an improvement over its predecessor The Crimes of Grindlewald (seriously, those titles!), but it still fails to capture the magic of the Harry Potter series. Dumbledore feels like a big dose of course correction after the bungling second installment, but hasn’t elevated Fantastic Beasts to where I think it could be. But maybe now that it’s been pointed in the right direction and with two installments to go, maybe it can find greatness before the end.

I then dipped my toes back into the video game movie pool with Double Dragon from 1994. It’s uhhh… It’s no Sonic the Hedgehog.

I didn’t put an asterisk next to Double Dragon at the beginning of this post because I have technically seen it once before. But this may as well have been the first time because the previous time I watched it was when it was in theaters, and I would have been five at the time, given the film’s late ’94 release. So this viewing was basically like watching Double Dragon for the first time, and is most likely the longest gap in between my first and second viewings of a movie (not that I, or anyone else, could keep track of such a statistic).

This is a bad movie. It has some ironic entertainment, but unlike the other video game movies I would watch later in the month, Double Dragon is more guilty than pleasure.

I admit, I don’t have the deepest history with the Double Dragon video games, but I seem to remember them taking place in essentially an 80s-style setting, filled with martial arts and street gangs of a Karate Kid fashion. I guess the movie has street gangs and an approximation of martial arts, but it also takes place in the “future” of 2007, where a massive earthquake has devastated Los Angeles, giving the film a kind of post-apocalyptic setting. Also the bad guy uses a machine to mutate the gang members working for him into grotesque monstrosities, with the character Abobo from the game being one such creature.

I admit I haven’t played all of the Double Dragon games, but were any of them like this?

Although Robert “The T-1000” Patrick has some fun as the villain, Double Dragon ultimately stumbles. It’s neither a good adaptation or a fun martial arts movie on its own.

Switching back to movie theaters, I saw Dreamworks Animation’s The Bad Guys. I already reviewed The Bad Guys, which was a lot of fun. Its story may not tread very original ground, but the animation is daring and creative. Definitely one to watch if you want something visually unique, or just a fun and humorous riff on gangster and heist movies.

For the final three movies of the month, we go back to the early days of video game adaptations. The first of these was Mortal Kombat from 1995.

Although video game movies have had a very rough history from the beginning, they had at least one gold nugget (okay, bronze) in their early years in the form of Mortal Kombat.

While Mortal Kombat may not be a technically great movie or anything, it was far ahead of other video game movies in that it gave fans want they came to see: this is very much a Mortal Kombat movie. And it’s fun.

All the characters from the original game make an appearance, and they fight. Like, a lot! Seriously, a good chunk of the middle act literally zips from one fight scene to the next. The fighting is cheesy and over-the-top, but in an entertaining way. Some fans lament that the violent “fatalities” weren’t present in the movie. But given how the series became too reliant on the violence later on, I feel like the movie’s relatively tame violence makes it stand out in the franchise. I also like how they decided to make Raiden, the god of thunder and lightning, the funny character of the film in addition to being the mentor.

The big complaint, of course, is how Mortal Kombat’s (incredibly abrupt) ending undoes the whole point of the movie. The whole premise is that the good guys have to win the Mortal Kombat tournament to prevent the emperor of Outworld from invading Earth. Spoiler alert (for a twenty-seven-year-old movie), the good guys win the tournament. But then the emperor comes through a portal to Earth in the last seconds of the film anyway. If you know the stories of the games, this does play into the sequel. But given that the emperor’s sudden appearance is unexplained in the movie, it comes across as a big middle finger to the plot. Yes, it’s eventually explained in Mortal Kombat Annihilation, but maybe the emperor’s emergence itself should have been saved for the sequel to give the first film a proper ending.

Mortal Kombat is a silly movie, but very much a Mortal Kombat movie. In a time when so many video game movies couldn’t even get that right, that was enough. And it’s still goofy fun.

“Unironically a magnificent final shot.”

Next up we have Street Fighter! Talk about a guilty pleasure! People use the term “so bad it’s good” a bit too liberally, but I think it’s a very apt description for the Street Fighter movie. It’s so bad, but so glorious.

Street Fighter is basically a cheesy military action movie combined with a cheesy martial arts movie, and it stars Jean-Claude Van Damme as Guile and the late Raul Julia as M. Bison.

The film has some notable deviations from the source material, such as Guile being the main character, while Ryu and Ken are bumbling comic relief. I don’t mind that too much, since they basically just swapped the generic guy wearing a gi as the main character in favor of the generic military character (personally, I always thought Chun-Li should have been the main character of the series since she stands out far more). There’s also the infamous change of Zangief being a bad guy (an idea that Wreck-It Ralph would unknowingly accept as fact), but he does go good by the end. But overall, it’s a decently faithful adaptation of Street Fighter II. Certainly a better adaptation than the anime movie, and more entertaining too.

Of course, you can’t talk about the Street Fighter movie without mentioning that it was one of Raul Julia’s last film roles. Sadly, Julia’s health had been in decline, and accepted the role of M. Bison because his kids were fans of Street Fighter and wanted to give them something to enjoy as one of his last roles (an incredibly classy act on his part). But his health rapidly declined after production began, which greatly affected the physical training for the actors (they often didn’t even get to practice for their fight scenes until right before they shot them), which probably explains why the fights are nothing special. Raul Julia would sadly pass away not long after the movie was complete, with the film dedicated to his memory.

Raul Julia really gave it his all though. He knew exactly what kind of movie he was in and made the absolute best of it, hamming M. Bisom up to high heaven and creating a gloriously cheesy villain.

The rest of the film is also cheesy fun, with Jean-Claude Van Damme being an ironic highlight (and Ming-Na Wen as Chun-Li being a more genuine one). Capcom themselves clearly thought the movie was entertaining, sneaking in sly references to the movie in some of their games (like Chun-Li being a news reporter in Mega Man 9). Hell, the film even gave Ken his last name, Masters.

Street Fighter was released in theaters less than two months after Double Dragon, so it must have been something like a palette cleanser to video game fans back in 1994. Today, if you want to indulge in some “so bad it’s good” fun, Street Fighter is one of the best options. As is my final movie of the month…

I ended the month with the video game movie that started it all, Super Mario Bros. from 1993. Like Street Fighter, I consider Super Mario Bros. to be one of my great guilty pleasures, and a movie that’s so bad it’s good. Although Street Fighter probably has more genuinely praise-worthy elements, I still put Super Mario Bros. in the same boat because it is such a weird, surreal movie that it really does have to be seen to be believed.

Again, the Super Mario Bros. movie is a bad movie, but it is fascinating to behold. You may honestly ask yourself “what the hell am I watching?” when viewing it.

The film’s first slip-up was, of course, the fact that it’s live-action. How anyone could look at the Super Mario Bros. games, and decide live-action made any kind of sense for the series, I will surely never know. It’s perhaps no surprise then, that the film’s second great mistake is that it has virtually nothing to do with the games other than some of the character names (the film uses the Super Mario Bros. theme music during the opening title in what may be the most cruel tease in cinema history).

Granted, I stand by my past claims that early video game movies have a pretty decent excuse for their less-than ideal quality in that the video games of the time were so different from movies that adapting them for the silver screen would be difficult. And Super Mario Bros. was the first theatrical video game movie adaptation (there was a straight-to-video Mario anime in Japan previously), so it’s understandable that sailing such uncharted waters would be a difficult task for the movie. Now, I’m not excusing the Super Mario Bros. movie of its faults, but at least given the circumstances of the time, they make sense.

Some people complain about casting the late, great British actor Bob Hoskins as Mario and the Colombian actor John Leguizamo as Luigi, since the Mario Brothers are, you know, Italian. But honestly, Mario is such a cartoony character that I hardly think it matters (I also don’t mind Chris Pratt voicing Mario in the upcoming animated film). I’m more offended by the fact that they didn’t give Luigi a mustache. Plus, I think both actors do a fine job despite the rest of the movie, with Bob Hoskins in particular doing a great job at portraying a more realistic take on Mario as a plumber from Brooklyn. Though the fact that the film focuses so intensely on Mario’s occupation – which is little more than a tidbit in the video games – is telling of how poorly the movie understood the material.

“Pictured: Bowser and some Goombas. No, seriously.”

Oh yeah, and the film’s version of Bowser is President Koopa, portrayed by Dennis Hopper. The Goombas are really tall guys with tiny lizard heads for some reason. The film also uses the name Daisy for the princess (Princess Daisy having only appeared in Super Mario Land at the time), I suppose because the name Peach (or Toadstool) wasn’t realistic enough in a movie as grounded in reality as this. By the way, did I mention that the premise of the film is that the meteorite that wiped out the dinosaurs actually created a parallel universe where the dinosaurs evolved into humanoid beings, and Koopa wants the missing piece of the meteorite to merge the dimensions? So that’s fine, but the name Princess Toadstool is going too far.

Perhaps the most hilarious changes from the games are the little things, like how the Mario Bros. wear special shoes to allow them to jump high (because that really needed an explanation) or how, instead of overalls, the brothers Mario wind up wearing jumpsuits with color patterns that approximate their famous attire. Like, why couldn’t they even get the overalls right?

Even if you can somehow ignore the absolute mishandling of the Mario franchise, this movie would still be a weird fever dream of cinema. And yet, I can’t look away…

Alright, I’ve rambled long enough. Let’s dish out the usual awards so I can move on to some proper reviews (and maybe watch Street Fighter again).

Best Movie I Watched All Month *And* Best Movie I Watched for the First Time This Month: Sonic the Hedgehog 2

Go ahead and hate me, but I love these Sonic movies. The first one was a delightful surprise, being a legitimately good family movie that happens to star Sonic the Hedgehog. But the sequel is a full-fledged Sonic the Hedgehog movie, and the best video game movie yet made.

Obviously, Sonic 2 had a more difficult time winning over critics (but the reception was mostly positive). The fact the film is based on a video game probably had a lot of ‘professional’ critics making up their mind right off the bat, unfortunately. But for people who enjoy a little thing called “fun,” Sonic the Hedgehog 2 delivers that in droves.

Sonic 2 is terrific fun. Doubly so if you’re a fan of the source material (probably something else that turned most critics away. Can’t have fans being happy). It’s truer to the classic games than the Sonic games themselves have been in a very long time (with the exception of Sonic Mania). Who would have thought that the movie adaptations would be the best thing to happen to Sega’s flagship franchise in years?

Plus, it’s just nice to have this type of movie that has a tone, sense of humor and action scenes that don’t just ape the same stuff Marvel has been doing for a decade and a half (although the finale may come a bit close). And yes, I gave it a more glowing review than Spider-Man: No Way Home. I don’t regret that one bit.

Go ahead and hate me for praising this kids’ movie based on a video game. But it’s honest to goodness some of the most fun I’ve had with a movie in a long time.

Worst Movie I Watched All Month: Double Dragon

Whereas Sonic the Hedgehog 2 took video game movies to new heights, Double Dragon was something of an early low. It lacks the bungling insanity of Super Mario Bros. and doesn’t begin to compare to the glorious cheesiness of Street Fighter. So while those movies are the good kind of bad, Double Dragon isn’t so lucky.

I’ve seen worse movies (this is hardly even the worst movie to “win” in this category in the handful of months I’ve done these), and video game movies themselves would get much worse during the 2000s. But it’s safe to say that Double Dragon is pretty bad, and has less of the guilty pleasure factor of its contemporary video game movies.

The Guilty Pleasure Award: Super Mario Bros. and/or Street Fighter

“This is actually a good movie poster.”

Super Mario Bros. is a hilarious disaster of a movie. As I said, being the first (Hollywood) movie to adapt a video game was already an uphill battle, but Super Mario Bros. also had a slew of other production problems besides that. It’s really no wonder it ended up a mess. The fact that it seemed to actively avoid any semblance of faithfulness to the games it was adapting only adds a slew of other issues.

And yet, the film is so bonkers I can’t help but get a kick out of it. There are so many bizarre details in this movie: Like when the cop in the dinosaur world is questioning the Mario brothers, there’s a woman rubbing her high heel on the cop’s shoulder the whole time. What the hell is that about? There’s also the running gag of Koopa waiting for a pizza he ordered, which ultimately has no payoff.

Some people try to claim that, if you removed the Super Mario name from the equation, that this wouldn’t be too bad of a movie. But I disagree. As a fan of the Super Mario series, I think the film’s utter ineptitude at capturing even the most basic elements of the games (again, the Mario brothers don’t even have overalls) gives the picture a kind of pitiable charm akin to The Room. It’s a bad movie, but you root for it nonetheless. Take away the “Mario” element and it’s simply a bad movie.

With that said, it is obvious why Nintendo was reluctant to let anyone make another movie based on their games for the longest time (though there was an Animal Crossing anime film in 2006 which has strangely never been released outside of Japan). Nintendo didn’t let Hollywood anywhere near their franchises until Detective Pikachu in 2019. And now we have a brand-new Super Mario Bros. movie finally on the way. Although the fact that it’s being made by Illumination has me skeptical (and I hate that Seth Rogen is Donkey Kong), I’m still excited for it. Here’s hoping it learns a thing or two from the Sonic movies (and that may be the only time Mario needs to learn anything from Sonic).

Finally, how can the Street Fighter movie not put a smile on someone’s face? It is the epitome of dumb fun.

The whole movie is one big, goofy ride. Littered with cheesy dialogue and cheesier action, not to mention Jean-Claude Van Damme struggling to deliver his lines. But it’s the efforts of Raul Julia that ascend Street Fighter to glorious ridiculousness.

Double Dragon may have been squeezed in the middle of them, but it really was fitting that Super Mario Bros. and Street Fighter were among the earliest video game movies. It’s just appropriate that two games of such iconic stature would be adapted before any others. You can complain about their execution all you want, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way than have Mario and Street Fighter be the first video game movie adaptations.

These movies really are two sides of the same coin. Take that as you will.


That’s all folks!

I’ve rambled quite long enough (again). So let’s put this one in the books and call it a day. I don’t know if I’ll write another “My Month in Movies” soon. But I said that before and I’ve done a few since then, so I guess we’ll see. As always, I hope you had a fun read.

Take care!

The Bad Guys Review

The Bad Guys is the latest film from Dreamworks Animation, based on a series of children’s graphic novels by Australian author Aaron Blabey. While Dreamworks Animation has a tendency to greenlight seemingly any idea that enters their doorway just to see what sticks, the good thing is that every now and again one does stick. The Bad Guys is thankfully one of those ones that sticks! Though the story is nothing groundbreaking for animated features, its terrific animation and art direction, and zany sense of humor elevate it.

The Bad Guys tells the story of a group of, well, bad guys: Mr. Wolf (Sam Rockwell), Mr. Snake (Marc Maron), Ms. Tarantula (Awkwafina), Mr. Shark (Craig Robinson) and Mr. Piranha (Anthony Ramos), a band of thieves who continue to pull off big heists and elude the authorities.

When new governor Diane Foxington (Zazie Beetz) insults the Bad Guys on the local news, Wolf decides to pull their biggest heist to cement their legacy. A local philanthropist, a guinea pig named Professor Marmalade (Richard Ayoade), is going to be awarded the Golden Dolphin for his countless charitable deeds. So Wolf and the gang plan to sneak into the gala and steal the Dolphin as their biggest score to date.

During the heist, Wolf inadvertently saves an old woman from falling down some stairs (he was trying to grab her purse), with the woman’s praises thereafter warming Wolf’s heart. Distracted, Wolf accidently blows the operation, and the Bad Guys are finally caught. But Wolf manages to charm his way out of jail time by appealing to Professor Marmalade’s good nature, with Governor Foxington agreeing to let Marmalade train the Bad Guys to become “the Good Guys.” Wolf explains to the gang that it’s all part of the ultimate con, to pretend to go good as a cover as to remain bad and steal the Dolphin, much to the delight of the rest of the group (except Snake, the “baddest” of the bunch, who is hesitant with the idea). But remembering how good he felt when helping the old woman, Wolf begins to wonder if a life of bad is the life he actually wants.

Although the story has its charms, it does kind of feel like we’ve gone through a time machine back to the early 2010s, when the idea of “bad guys going good” was pretty common in animated features. Despicable Me, Wreck-It Ralph and Dreamworks’ own Megamind were all variations on the premise (Wreck-It Ralph being the one that’s stood tall against the test of time). Heck, you could even argue that Shrek kind of had a similar setup all the way back in 2001. Point being, The Bad Guys’s plot isn’t exactly sailing uncharted waters, but it makes up for a lack of originality in its story in other areas.

First and foremost is the animation. Rather than going the traditional route of CG animation or Dreamworks’ usual character designs, The Bad Guys merges CG characters with hand-drawn sensibilities (a trait also recently seen in Pixar’s Turning Red) and seems to be drawing from a wide range of influences. There’s obviously a very cartoony, Looney Tunes vibe, but also with a dash of Akira Toriyama’s Dragon Ball or Dr. Slump. It’s a terrific film to look at, with a fluidity and zaniness to the character’s movements that evokes the best slapstick animation. I especially like the human police chief Misty Luggins (Alex Borstein), who kind of looks like Wreck-It Ralph, and stomps and punches around the place as she pursues the Bad Guys.

Another highlight is the film’s sense of humor. Not only does The Bad Guys boast some great cartoonish antics and gags, but also some fun spoofs on gangster and heist films. Nothing too upfront (thankfully), but there’s some fun homages that are subtle enough to make them cleverer than if they did the Shrek approach of obvious parody (Tarantino’s filmography and the Oceans films seem like favorite targets for the film). What’s impressive is that The Bad Guys never feels like a kids’ movie trying to win over the older crowd. It simply delivers the humor inherent in its story and characters, which should appeal to audiences of any age. It feels natural and works seamlessly.

There are admittedly some pacing issues in the film’s middle act, with some major aspects of the plot kind of rushing by in order for the film to make another twist or turn in the story. In all honesty, these twists are mostly fun, though the biggest ones are probably also the most obvious. It would be nice if the film had a slightly longer running time, so that these twists didn’t come at the expense of what was previously being built up. But it’s ultimately a small price to pay for how entertaining The Bad Guys otherwise is.

The Bad Guys is the kind of movie that I think any audience will have fun with. It’s exciting, funny, action-packed, well-acted and visually inspired. It may not be among the deeper animated films of recent memory, and it doesn’t pack the emotional wallop of, say, a Pixar movie. But not every animated film has to. Sometimes a fun, entertaining movie is more than enough. And The Bad Guys delivers just that.

7

Kirby Turns 30!

Today marks the thirtieth anniversary of the release of Kirby’s Dream Land on the Game Boy and, by extension, the thirtieth anniversary of Kirby himself!

Released in Japan on April 27th 1992, Kirby’s Dream Land introduced the world to Kirby, the pink puffball who would go on to become the mascot of developer HAL Laboratory, as well as one of Nintendo’s (and gaming’s) most enduring characters. Not to mention the cutest (sorry, Pikachu and Yoshi)!

With Sonic the Hedgehog being released the year prior, video game characters (particularly platforming mascots) were becoming “cooler” and “edgier” (or trying, at any rate. None of Sonic’s imitators ever actually matched him). So in retrospect, Kirby seems like a beautifully defiant act on Nintendo and HAL’s part. Doubling down on the cuteness of their character while everyone else was aiming for “attitude.”

Hilariously, it seemed because of that, Nintendo’s marketing didn’t know how to advertise Kirby to western audiences at the time, with Kirby’s Dream Land 2’s US commercial depicting Kirby and his Animal Friends as a bunch of mean looking tough guys who beat up a bunch of bikers during poetry night! Don’t believe me?

Or what about this other advertisement for the same game, which literally says not to call Kirby and his friends cute!

It’s like, what is the taboo here? Kirby IS cute! Embrace that and roll with it!

Thankfully, they did that eventually. But it certainly took a while for the marketing to have the profound revelation that people like cute things!

Anyway, Kirby managed to power through such questionable marketing due to the quality of his games. With Kirby’s Adventure (1993), Kirby gained his signature copy abilities, which would become the series’ staple mechanic thereafter. Kirby would go on to star in dozens of games over the decades, both his traditional platforming romps and in more experimental spinoffs, making Kirby second only to Mario as gaming’s most versatile character. The most recent Kirby release, Kirby and the Forgotten Land, is the first 3D platformer in the series, and has quickly been praised as one of Kirby’s best. So the little guy certainly isn’t slowing down.

Kirby even had his own animated series in the early 2000s which lasted 100 episodes, and “Kirby Cafes” which serve Kirby themed foods have become an actual thing in Japan. So even though Kirby may not be as recognizable as Mario, Sonic or Pikachu, he’s had a similar impact.

Thirty years ago, the world was introduced to the cutest of video game heroes. Today, Kirby is still going strong as one of gaming’s best, most consistent (and strangely underrated) series.

Happy 30th birthday, Kirby!

Just don’t beat up any more bikers, okay?

Things Breath of the Wild 2 Should Learn from Elden Ring

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild was and is a brilliant game. I certainly won’t deny that. But I have to admit, in the five years since its release alongside the Nintendo Switch, I think some of Breath of the Wild’s shortcomings have been magnified with age.

I know, I know. How dare I question Zelda?! But it’s like I said, I think Breath of the Wild is a great game, just not the flawless “best game of all time” that so many people decided it was before it was even released (apparently, we’ve forgotten Super Mario World exists). It’s a wonderful game, but it has plenty of room for improvement.

This point hit home for me the more I dove into Elden Ring. Like Breath of the Wild, Elden Ring took an acclaimed video game series (in this case, From Software’s “Soulsborne” formula) and takes it into an open-world setting. Although there’s plenty of differences between the two games, they do have more than a few things in common, and I think Breath of the Wild’s upcoming sequel could learn a thing or two from Elden Ring.

A lot of people were bummed that Breath of the Wild’s yet-unnamed sequel was delayed (though we shouldn’t be surprised, as such delays are commonplace for Nintendo, and Zelda specifically). But I think Nintendo would be wise to use this delay to take a few notes from Elden Ring, in order to make “Breath of the Wild 2” an even better game than its predecessor.

In particular, there are three aspects of Breath of the Wild that I feel could really be improved on, and that Elden Ring addressed. So instead of taking a full-on deep dive to compare every aspect of Breath of the Wild and Elden Ring, let’s just focus on these three issues that Breath of the Wild 2 should really adapt from Elden Ring.

1: Better Dungeons & Optional Dungeons

I guess we technically have more than three things, because we’re starting things off with a twofer. Simply put, Breath of the Wild needed better dungeons, and it needed some outside of the main plot.

Okay, I know some people would point out that technically all the dungeons in Breath of the Wild were optional except for Hyrule Castle, since you can go straight from the tutorial to the endgame if you want. But if you wanted the full story, you had to beat the other four dungeons (the “Divine Beasts”) before heading for Hyrule Castle.

It’s those four story dungeons that could really use some improvement. All four dungeons were basically built around the same puzzle, they all looked aesthetically identical, and their bosses were all incredibly similar in both appearance and in the battles themselves (I don’t care if they were all different forms of Ganon! Ganon can pull some new tricks out of his hat!).

“Oh boy, another brown dungeon with stone mechanisms and covered with blotches of Ganon goo…”

Compared to the dungeons of previous Zelda games, Breath of the Wild’s story dungeons fell short. Even Skyward Sword – which is otherwise the weakest 3D Zelda game – had some incredible dungeons. When I played Skyward Sword HD last year, I realized how much I missed those traditional Zelda dungeons in Breath of the Wild. It almost felt like Nintendo was so proud of the open-world they created with Breath of the Wild, that they didn’t want the dungeons to outshine it, and were a little skittish when designing them.

Elden Ring has no such issue. Despite the shift to an open-world, Elden Ring makes no sacrifices when it comes to its story dungeons, which are as intricately designed as Dark Souls and Bloodborne’s best. Each story dungeon is distinct from the others, houses their own secrets and unique quirks, and ends in an epic boss encounter. Zelda should definitely take note. Just because the open-world is bigger than anything the series has seen before doesn’t mean those classic dungeons can’t be a part of it.

On top of that, Elden Ring has dozens of optional dungeons that have no bearing on the main quest. While the optional dungeons are certainly smaller and have more in common with each other than the main dungeons, it’s still great to have them. So many times I’ve been exploring in Elden Ring, only to discover a cave or doorway to a whole new dungeon to conquer. It would be so cool if Zelda had that too.

Yes, I know, Breath of the Wild did have the shrines, and I have no complaints with them. But the shrines were pretty different from dungeons, being singular puzzles more akin to a test chamber from Portal (again, a great thing). It would be great if Breath of the Wild 2 could have some dungeons outside of those in the main plot in addition to the shrines. It doesn’t even need as many of them as Elden Ring or anything. Just have some optional dungeons complete with Zelda’s classic puzzles and bosses, and I’m good.

Just imagine how cool it would be for Link to just stumble onto a full-blown dungeon not relating to the main plot. Maybe these bonus dungeons have their own story? Maybe completing them could unlock some secret weapons and items?

And speaking of weapons…

2: Permanent Weapons

As great as Breath of the Wild was, it was a pain in the ass how often your weapons broke. You’d find some legendary weapon one minute, only for it to break after fighting a small group of Bokoblins the next. Yeah, after you got a particular weapon you could then remake it with the right materials, but the fact that you can just remake some legendary weapon you discovered kind of takes away from the weapon itself. Point being, I shouldn’t have to remake it!

It baffles me that some people defend this mechanic to the death: “It makes it more immersive!” “It’s more realistic if the weapons break!” “It encourages you to make more of those weapons!” I’ve heard it all.

I’m going to say something that’s going to annoy a lot of people, but if “immersion” gets in the way of gameplay, it’s a problem. That’s why I get annoyed in Red Dead Redemption 2 (also a great game) when Arthur Morgan has to take the time to personally inspect a fallen foe for loot or skin an animal when acquiring materials (something else Elden Ring improved. You want a material? Press the button and you get it!). It may be more realistic to see Arthur Morgan collecting the materials himself, but after a while, you just want to get on with things.

Anyway, back to Zelda…

The whole weapon breaking thing makes sense with the early game stuff. If you have some rinky-dink sword or you decide to start fighting with a stick you found on the ground, I get it. It isn’t durable. My issue is that none of the weapons in Breath of the Wild were durable. They all broke so quickly you could barely enjoy them after all you went through to get them. I felt like I spent more time obsessively repairing and replacing things I already had than I did exploring new things in Hyrule.

Elden Ring avoids this issue in the simplest of ways: you find a weapon, you have that weapon; unless you sell or discard it, you keep that weapon. Beautiful.

A lot of video games do the whole “breakable weapons” thing these days. Even past Soulsborne games did it. But you know what? It’s more of an annoyance that creates tedium than it is a fun dose of reality in your games. It’s a modern gaming trend that really needs to go away. Thankfully, Elden Ring agreed. Hopefully, Breath of the Wild 2 will as well.

3: Worthwhile Steeds

While I said most of my complaints with Breath of the Wild became more apparent in hindsight, this is one complaint I’ve had with Breath of the Wild since day one: taming horses was pointless!

Yes, it sounded cool that Link could now find wild horses, train them, and eventually turn them into a noble steed. But in the end, it felt like a waste of time for one simple reason: Link was a far more versatile traveler on foot than any of the horses in the game!

Oh sure, the horses were technically faster than Link while running. But they would also stop dead in their tracks and throw Link from his saddle if so much as a pebble stood in their path. This made traversing the often rocky and bumpy terrain of Hyrule a start-and-stop affair when riding a horse. Meanwhile, Link could just climb a mountain with his bare hands, and then glide from its peak to cover far more distance in a much shorter time. So why’d I take the time to train that horse?

Although the player character in Elden Ring is a more versatile traveler than they were in previous Soulsborne games (good lord, they finally added a proper jump!), when you mount your trusted “spirit steed” Torrent, you can traverse the world all the better. Not only is Torrent noticeably faster than the player is on foot, but it also gets a double jump! In other words, riding your horse (or horse equivalent) in Elden Ring feels like an improvement in regard to travel. And you don’t even have to tame him!

I’m fine with the idea of Link taming horses in Breath of the Wild 2, but they really need to make it worth the effort. Give the horses strengths and abilities that Link can’t already better on foot.

Admittedly, I’m a bit skeptical that Breath of the Wild 2 will address this particular issue, seeing as we already know the sequel will allow Link to traverse the skies of Hyrule. If he can already go to the sky, I don’t see horse situation improving. Hopefully I’m wrong.

Maybe just give me Epona from the get-go and make her ‘Super Horse’ or something.

“I want a pony so I can ride it twice, get bored and sell it to make glue!”

I suppose I’ll leave it there, for now. I know it sounds like I’m ragging on one of the most beloved Zelda games of all time. But hey, people ragged on Wind Waker years before it was even released! And in retrospect that’s still probably the best 3D Zelda all-around.

This doesn’t take anything away from my love of Breath of the Wild. I’m merely sharing my criticisms of it that I hope the sequel will address. Seeing as Elden Ring has already improved on those areas, I see no reason why Breath of the Wild 2 can’t do the same. I guess only time will tell.

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 Review

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 is the best video game movie ever made. I know, that’s not exactly a high hurdle to jump, but rest assured it was intended as a compliment without a hint of irony.

The past few years have seen video game movies give more of an effort to be, y’know, good. 2019’s Detective Pikachu, and 2021’s Mortal Kombat reboot were both solid movies that, despite their flaws, were enjoyable and paid respect to their source material. Although the Uncharted movie released just a few months ago may have missed the mark, it still at least gave an effort. The best of this recent resurgence of video game movies was 2020’s Sonic the Hedgehog, which – along with the original 1995 Mortal Kombat film – was probably one of the top two video game movies. But Sonic the Hedgehog 2 betters its predecessor both as a movie, and as a love letter to the video games that inspired it, creating the first great video game movie.

Some film snobs may take offense to that statement. But as someone who can appreciate the value of a little thing called fun, I will happily tell you that Sonic the Hedgehog 2 delivers just that, and in spades. It’s great fun. Tremendous fun.

The story here is that the titular Sonic the Hedgehog (Ben Schwartz) has settled into his new home in the small town of Green Hills, Montana with Sherrif Tom Wachowski (James Marsden) and his wife Maddie (Tika Sumpter). Trying to find his place in the world, Sonic has been doing some moonlighting as a crime-fighter, but is a bit reckless and sloppy at it. Tom thinks Sonic needs to learn to be more responsible before he can become a hero, and leaves Sonic in charge of the house as a test in responsibility, while he and Maddie go to Hawaii for Maddie’s sister’s wedding.

Naturally, this is when things go wrong. Dr. Ivo Robotnik (Jim Carrey) has managed to escape his isolation on the mushroom planet with the help of Knuckles the Echidna (Idris Elba). Knuckles wishes to retrieve the Master Emerald – an artifact of infinite power once protected by the Echidnas – to honor the legacy of his tribe, and believes Sonic knows of the Emerald and its location. Robotnik, of course, is merely using Knuckles to claim the Emerald for himself (with revenge on Sonic being a nice bonus).

While Knuckles’ strength and Robotnik’s intelligence are too much for Sonic to handle alone, the blue hedgehog gets a partner of his own in the form of Miles “Tails” Prower (Colleen O’Shaughnessey), a two-tailed fox who idolizes Sonic after tracking the events of the first film. And so the race to find the Master Emerald is on, pitting Sonic and Tails against Knuckles and Dr. Robotnik.

As any longtime Sonic fan could tell you, despite the film being called Sonic the Hedgehog 2, the plot is actually based on the video games Sonic the Hedgehog 3 and Sonic & Knuckles. There are some alterations that may upset overly literal fans (Knuckles trying to find the Master Emerald as opposed to already being its guardian, for example), but the movie can’t be exactly the same as the games. As someone whose formative years coincided with those of the Sonic franchise, I was constantly delighted by Sonic the Hedgehog 2’s faithfulness to the video games (which doesn’t simply feel like fanservice, but a genuine love for the series itself).

While I really enjoy the first Sonic film, it does in retrospect feel like it compromised a bit, playing like a 90s-style family comedy with Sonic, Robotnik and a few elements of the series sprinkled throughout. But now that it proved a success, it really feels like the gloves are off for this sequel, and it’s allowed to be a full-blooded, true blue Sonic the Hedgehog movie. Not only do we have the additions of Knuckles and Tails (the latter admittedly showed up mid-credits in the first film), and Jim Carrey actually looking like Robotnik now (as opposed to Jim Carrey with a mustache), but you also have the storyline from the games, and countless references, winks and nods to the series throughout. And not just references to the games, but even the old cartoons and comic books as well.

“The front for Dr. Robotnik’s continued operations is a coffee shop called “The Mean Bean.” Now THAT is a reference.”

The funny thing is that Sonic the Hedgehog 2 is, in many ways, truer to the video games than the games themselves have been for a very long time (exception being Sonic Mania). This is particularly true of the four core characters of the franchise: Sonic himself is wonderfully realized both in animation (we’ve come a long way from that first trailer for the original movie) and in Schwartz’s vocals, while Jim Carrey’s Dr. Robotnik (my favorite movie villain of the past few years) is still a show-stealer. The addition of Tails (and O’Shaughnessey) adds some extra heart to the proceedings. And importantly, I feel like the film (and Idris Elba) have redeemed Knuckles as a character, resurrecting his badass strength and determination (while still bringing humor out of his naivety) after the games demoted him to the bumbling doofus of the series once Shadow the Hedgehog pointlessly stole his role as Sonic’s rival two decades ago.

That’s not to say that Sonic 2 is exclusively for the hardcore crowd, and left fans of the first movie out in the cold. Something I greatly appreciated about Sonic the Hedgehog 2 was how it performs a balancing act between being a fantasy adventure more in line with the games and still having the family comedy vibe of the first film.

I was concerned that the newfound fanservice may have meant the characters introduced in the first film would be swept under the rug and awkwardly forgotten. But if anything, those characters now feel more important to the overall Sonic mythology. Characters like Maddie’s sister Rachel (Natasha Rothwell), Green Hills’ dimwitted deputy Wade Whipple (Adam Pally) and Robotnik’s thankless assistant Stone (Lee Majdoub) now have bigger parts in the story. And while Tails is now at his rightful place by Sonic’s side, Tom and Maddie play a new role in the story as Sonic’s surrogate parents.

This is where Sonic the Hedgehog 2 actually surprised me. In the first film, Tom basically played an older brother role to Sonic, trying to keep the hedgehog’s juvenile antics in check. But now Sonic has to learn to be more responsible, as he’s now playing the role of big brother to Tails. Not only does this lead to some genuinely heartwarming moments, but it also cleverly builds on the characters, their relationships, and what they learned in the first film. Wow. I can honestly say I didn’t expect Sonic 2 to be the kind of sequel that would connect and grow the narrative of the first film. So that was a pleasant surprise.

I admit, there are a few moments where the film does lose some of its balance with its aforementioned two halves, which results in some pacing issues (including one scene that resolves a subplot that goes on a bit long, entertaining though the scene may be). But for the most part, Sonic the Hedgehog 2 succeeds in being both an organic follow-up to the original film while also being a more faithful adaptation of the games.

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 retains the sense of humor of the first movie (including some nice callbacks to that film’s best gags without simply repeating them), which apparently hasn’t sat well with some fans (who probably take the series a little too seriously). But I personally find it to be good family comedy that reminds me of the old Sonic cartoons from my youth. I’d rather see the Sonic series be intentionally goofy like these movies over unintentionally hilarious like the more “serious” and cinematic games in the series ended up being. And it’s just nice to see a blockbuster in this day and age that doesn’t simply use the same brand of humor that Marvel has been utilizing for way too long now.

It isn’t all jokes though. While Sonic 2 shares its predecessor’s humor, it completely outshines it with action sequences. Again, the first Sonic film felt a little restrained, which was echoed in its action scenes. They were fun, but small-scale and sparse. Sonic the Hedgehog 2, however, seems to (once again) take inspiration from the games for its action set pieces, resulting in a more satisfying action movie. Though the finale may feel a bit too close to that of a Marvel movie (so Sonic avoided that pitfall in one area, but not another).

There’s a lot to love about Sonic the Hedgehog 2, even if you aren’t overly familiar with the games. But it does feel – more so than any video game movie before it – like it rewards fans of the franchise. This may sound like the biggest cliche, but watching Sonic the Hedgehog 2 honestly made me feel like a kid again. Not just because of the (often deep cut) callbacks and references, but because of its honest-to-goodness love of the series it’s adapting. A lot of franchises these days are suffering because the people behind the camera are using said franchises to promote themselves, as opposed to coming from a place of love for the material. So it’s nice to see a series give back to its fans for a change, instead of taking from them.

I will admit (without spoiling anything), the mid-credits teaser has me a bit concerned for the future direction of these Sonic movies (as does Jim Carrey’s talks of possible retirement, since he’s now as vital to these movies as Dr. Robotnik himself is to the series as a whole). But we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

For now, let’s all appreciate this moment, and enjoy Sonic the Hedgehog 2. The first great video game movie.

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Chocobo GP Review

When Super Mario Kart was released in 1992, it was more than simply a spinoff of Nintendo’s most prolific series, and ended up being one of the most influential games of all time in itself. Not only did it usher in a new style of multiplayer/party games, but it singlehandedly created its own sub-genre, the “kart racer.” It seems like every cartoony/mascot character under the sun has had a go at trying to replicate Mario Kart, though very few of Mario Kart’s imitators could really stack up to the real thing, with Diddy Kong Racing and Crash Team Racing probably being the two examples that have carved a legacy of their own in the genre. That’s not to say that all of the imitators have missed the mark, however. The Sonic and All-Stars Racing duo were solid additions, and I personally have some very fond memories of more esoteric entries like Bomberman Fantasy Race and Chocobo Racing on the Playstation.

Chocobo Racing was, of course, an offshoot of Final Fantasy, placing various characters from that franchise in a more cartoony setting apropos to the kart racer genre. Being released in 1999 – a time when Final Fantasy found a new popularity on the Playstation – you would think that Chocobo Racing would have made a little more of a splash than it did. But, like many Mario Kart clones, it came and went. A 3DS sequel was originally planned more than a decade later, but joined Mega Man Legends 3 as one of those notorious early 3DS cancellations. That was that, it seemed. Never did I imagine Square would ever actually follow through with a sequel to Chocobo Racing.

It was a pleasant surprise then, when Square announced that they were, in fact, finally making a sequel to Chocobo Racing during a Nintendo Direct in 2021. Chocobo GP is that sequel, released exclusively on the Nintendo Switch twenty-three years after the original. Though the final game is a bit of a bittersweet pill to swallow. On one hand Chocobo GP is a fun, nostalgic kart racer (and it’s just nice to see Square remember something other than Final Fantasy VII or Kingdom Hearts for once). But on the other hand, Chocobo GP was plagued by a number of bugs at launch, and features a series of other shortcomings that prevent it from being the game it could have been, not least of which being its love affair with microtransactions.

I feel like the gameplay of the kart racer needs very little explaining at this point, but to summarize: Chocobo GP sees players select a number of characters either from or inspired by the Final Fantasy series (and the spinoff ‘Chocobo’ series). Players compete in races and can collect power-ups to help themselves or hinder other racers in order to get first place. Again, this is a genre that has played closely to the rules Mario Kart established for it, but Chocobo Racing did add a little Final Fantasy twist to the proceeding in that the power-ups – referred to as “Magicite” in Chocobo GP – can be stacked up to create more powerful versions of itself (admittedly, Diddy Kong Racing beat it to that punch). Additionally, each character also has their own special move, which can be activated after filling a meter by performing speed-boosting drifts.

The core gameplay is enjoyable, and the game controls well. There is a big complaint to be made, however, with how debilitating getting hit by even a single item is. In Mario Kart, you expect to get hit by an item or two during a race, but you can recover from it pretty quickly. In Chocobo GP, getting hit once stops your character dead in their tracks, and it takes a good few seconds before the player can even move again. Similarly, don’t expect the speedy recovery provided by Lakitu in Mario Kart if you fall off a track in Chocobo GP. Here, if you fall off stage, the guy who saves the player slowly picks them up (backwards), takes time to turn them around, and then places them back on stage. These may sound like small complaints, but with the very nature of the genre, it becomes pretty aggravating when basic elements like these take so much time. It’s less chaotic fun and more frustrating.

As for the characters themselves, they have their ups and downs. In Chocobo Racing, most the characters were the basic Final Fantasy archetypes (Chocobo, Moogle, White Mage, etc.), with only a few specific characters from the franchise’s history. That’s also true here, only now even the archetypal characters have names (except for Chocobo himself).

Along with the titular bird, there’s also a girl Chocobo named Camilla, her father (aptly named ‘Camilla’s Pa’), and a Fat Chocobo named Clair. There are also two Moogle characters, one named Atla, and a helmet wearing Moogle named Racing Hero X. I guess with characters like these, Chocobo GP is leaning more into the Chocobo series, as opposed to simply using the general Final Fantasy creatures and enemies. That’s okay, though I don’t really see the point in having so many similar characters.

There are plenty of others, however, like a Behemoth named Ben, and a White Mage named Shirma. For more specific Final Fantasy characters, there’s Terra, the heroine from Final Fantasy VI, in her Esper form. And we also have Vivi and Steiner from Final Fantasy IX. Those are all welcome additions that, again, differ from what Square’s selective memory can usually be bothered to remember. But, if you just have to have Cloud and Squall in your game, they’re unlockable “seasonal” characters, who can alternatively be purchased individually.

The character selection is a bit of a mixed bag, but then again, Mario Kart 8 gave us Pink Gold Peach, so at least Chocobo GP is willing to search its franchise’s history for characters, instead of repainting a series mainstay and calling it a new addition.

Less forgivable is the fact that Chocobo GP only features eight racetracks. For the record, that’s less tracks than Chocobo Racing, which had ten. Granted, Chocobo GP features alternate versions to certain courses, but they basically just rearrange a couple of the obstacles. The tracks here aren’t particularly memorable, either, which makes their short supply all the more crippling. Some may argue that Square can add more courses with updates, but the fact of the matter is the base game needed more tracks. I would have been fine if the developers spent less time on all the unlockable trinkets, and a little more time creating extra courses.

Chocobo GP features a small variety of modes, the best of which being an online tournament up to 64 players. There are also versus modes, time attacks and custom races. There’s even a story mode, though that too is a mixed bag.

The story mode is essentially just races interspersed with cinematics. There’s no hub world to traverse or anything. The cinematics themselves are little more than basic animations of the characters being plastered in front a static background, complete with text boxes and questionable voice acting. While these cinematics do have some humorous moments (particularly when it comes to the characters pointing out Camilla’s Pa’s ridiculous name), they ultimately drag on way too long. The story mode itself seems strangely padded out, despite its simple setup of “pick a race and watch a cinematic.” The story mode should ultimately be looked at as a means of unlocking most of the characters, and little more.

On the plus side of things, the game’s bright, cartoony visuals look great, and they’re matched by a fun, bouncy soundtrack (I enjoy Chocobo GP’s vocal theme song, even if the lyrics are little more than saying the characters’ names).

Unfortunately, Chocobo GP ran into some bigger issues at launch, including some egregious bugs. During separate play sessions, I encountered tournaments that wouldn’t load subsequent rounds and often got hit by items that didn’t appear on-screen. Most ridiculously, I rightfully came in third place during one race, which randomly continued another lap after it should have ended, and then it counted me as coming in last place. Not every race I played was such a disaster, but these glitches and bugs were bad and frequent enough to sour the experience. At the very least, the game is receiving updates and patches to fix these technical issues, but you never want to launch a game in such an unpolished state.

Worst of all, however, are Chocobo GP’s paywalls. Mario Kart Tour could get ridiculous with its paywalls as well, but at least in that case, the game itself is free. But Chocobo GP is a fully priced retail game that still has the nerve to demand its players pay more money to unlock characters, karts, and in-game currency. You can unlock all the seasonal rewards by playing and levelling up, but Square made sure the process was as long and tedious as possible to make such progress (I almost wonder if the lack of courses was deliberate, to create more monotony so players would cave in faster).

Square has said they will make the levelling up process more accessible in upcoming seasons, but it kind of feels like the damage is done. Especially when one considers the in-game currency (mythril) has an expiration date when earned by player experience but doesn’t expire when purchased. Classy.

Unlike a lot of people, I am not one who believes simply wanting to make money from one’s product is a bad thing. However, the sheer insistence of Chocobo GP’s paywalls would be greedy even for a free-to-play game. For a fully priced game to demand so much from players’ wallets is pretty lowdown (especially for a game marketed towards kids).

Ultimately, this is what dampens what should have been a fun sequel to an oft-forgotten game from yesteryear. I think there is a fun game in Chocobo GP, but Square chose to bury it under its own monetization model. And I think the game’s other shortcomings are a direct result of this. Imagine if Square had enough faith in the game to sell itself, then maybe more development time could have been used polishing the game instead of spent thinking of new ways to charge players.

Chocobo GP should have been a delightful throwback right out the gate. You can still have some good fun while playing it. It’s just a shame you have to turn a blind eye to so much in order to do so.

Here’s hoping a potential Bomberman Fantasy Race sequel doesn’t suffer the same fate.

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