*Warning! Angry rant approaching!*
My nightmares have become a reality, as Cloud from Final Fantasy VII has been announced as an upcoming DLC character for Super Smash Bros. for Wii U and 3DS.
The November 2015 Nintendo Direct was mostly solid, with the official confirmation of Twilight Princess HD for Wii U, a release date for Star Fox Zero and a number of other titles, and some interesting news on updates for already-released games like Splatoon. But then it ended in the worst way possible (for me, anyway).
A new Smash Bros. character reveal is usually an awesome thing, so I was happy to see the Nintendo Direct ending with the words “Super Smash Bros. for Wii U and 3DS” showing up. But then, the horror of it all, it was followed up with the words “X Final Fantasy VII.” My reaction was something like this.
Quickly followed by this.
After naming Cloud as one of the five third-party characters who should never be in Super Smash Bros., it’s suffice to say I didn’t take kindly to the character’s addition to the series. There go my hopes of Smash Bros. ever getting a good Square-Enix character.
Cloud’s inclusion in the game just doesn’t make any sense. Weren’t any possible third-party characters in Smash supposed to be characters who have significant ties to Nintendo? Sonic, Pac-Man, Ryu and especially Mega Man all make sense. Even Solid Snake made sense. But Cloud? His biggest appearance in Nintendo’s history were a handful of cameos in those handheld Kingdom Hearts games that people like to pretend don’t exist.
There are just so many more deserving characters out there. Simon Belmont comes to mind. Or how about Bayonetta? Banjo-Kazooie? Hell, there are actual Nintendo characters who have yet to make the Smash Bros. roster (Dixie Kong). Yet Cloud makes it in?
Besides, don’t we have enough anime sword characters in Smash already? We already have a small army of Fire Emblem and Kid Icarus characters. Cloud is little more than white noise at this point.
*This has been a comical rant intended to exaggerate my harmless opinion of a video game character, and you shouldn’t have your feelings hurt over it. Take a joke, people.*