So the final Nintendo Direct dedicated to Super Smash Bros. is done. And it sucked.
The good news is that Bayonetta is in the game. The bad news is… everything else.
Along with more information on the previously announced Cloud (who I couldn’t care less about), we got one additional new character… Corrin! Who’s that, you might ask? It’s the main character from the upcoming Fire Emblem Fates, a game that’s currently only released in Japan. That’s right, another Fire Emblem character. Because lord knows there aren’t enough anime swordfighters in Smash Bros. already. At the very least it’s not more damn Kid Icarus characters, I guess.
Let’s do a head count though, we have Marth, Ike, Roy, Lucina and Robin all from Fire Emblem in the game. And now with Corrin, that’s six characters. That ties it with Pokemon in represented characters, and is surpassed only by Mario. I’m not going to complain about the Mario and Pokemon characters, because their series are relevant enough to justify that many characters, not to mention that each of their represented characters are pretty distinct. Aside from Robin, all of the Fire Emblem characters are basically in the same category. A category that is also filled by Pit, Shulk, and that useless waste of space called Dark Pit.
Meanwhile, Donkey Kong and Metroid are still only at two characters apiece. And Metroid’s two characters are just variants of the same character. Forget that they’re two of Nintendo’s most iconic and acclaimed series. They get two. Kid Icarus gets three, and Fire Emblem gets a small army. Because I guess the series has become Super Weaboo Bros.
No new DK characters, no new Metroid characters. No newly represented franchises (Inklings please!). But that’s not the worst part.
No. The grand crescendo of this Smash suckage was the reveal that Nintendo and Square-Enix had come to an agreement on another addition to the series. Yes, they finally revealed Geno is coming to Super Smash Bros!
As a Mii Fighter costume…
A freaking Mii Fighter costume. After years and years of hoping, wanting and dreaming. This is how Sakurai decides to represent the beloved classic, Super Mario RPG? This is nothing short of a kick to the crotch and a snidely middle finger raised on Sakurai’s part.
Yes, Bayonetta being added to Smash Bros. is cool (she apparently won the fan vote). But the persistent weaboo-centric additions to the series, and the constant slap to the face of more deserving characters (K. Rool costume!) has greatly soured me to Super
Fire Emblem Smash Bros. The whole Geno trolling bit was the last straw. I think it will be a long, long time before I play Smash Bros. again. And that, coming from me, is saying a whole lot.