Well, here’s something a little bit different. I had a pretty solid month in movie-watching this September (the month of my birthday!), so I figured I’d write something quick about it here.
I watched over twenty movies in September, which may not be a whole lot for some people, but for me (these days) it’s something. Quite an eclectic lot of movies too, I must say. A number of them I watched for the first time.
Despite the name of this post, I don’t think this will be a monthly thing (if it were, I should have started this a couple of years ago when I was watching movies more frequently), but I thought it’d be a fun thing to write for a change of pace, and maybe I’ll write more of these here and there in the future. We’ll see.
Here is the full list of movies I watched in September 2021 in order of viewing. Movies I watched for the first time will be marked with an asterisk.
Shan-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings*
Last Action Hero*
Lethal Weapon 2
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows
Speed 2: Cruise Control*
So yeah, quite the variety of movies. I like to think of myself as someone who can appreciate both Citizen Kane and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, thank you very much.
Speaking of TMNT, as you probably guessed by this list, along with my recent review of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Tournament Fighters, I’m on a bit of a Ninja Turtles kick as of late (I can’t wait for that Shredder’s Revenge game next year). I actually reviewed all of the TMNT movies a few years back, but I feel like I have more to say about them. Maybe soon I’ll write an entire retrospective of the TMNT movies, and some other stuff about them as well.
Anyway, a number of the movies I have listed here that I haven’t reviewed, I would like to review some day. Some sooner than others, as I have a lot of things to say about the Speed movies, The Fugitive and Last Action Hero.
I also have to say, after watching the original Superman movie for the first time since I was a kid, I think THAT is how Superman should be depicted. I’ve grown something of a disdain for the character over the years, but I think that has more to do with the depictions of the character in the years since than it does the character himself. People are always trying to make Superman “cool” or “gritty,” or coming up with dumb ‘what if?’ scenarios like “what if Superman went bad?” and crap like that. A lot of what works for other comic book superheroes just doesn’t work for Superman. Keep him simple: a beacon of hope and optimism. The 1978 movie, despite some flaws, gets that so right. Just make Superman THAT.
Of course, there’s a lot to say about Citizen Kane and Goodfellas. Great movies, to be sure. However, if I’m being completely honest, the best film I watched last month was Up. I know, I’ve committed cinematic blasphemy by daring to say anything is better than Citizen Kane, and I’d be shunned by movie buffs by even suggesting that something could be better than the work of the movie buff man-god Martin Scorsese. Hey, I’m not saying Citizen Kane and Goodfellas are bad, just that I think Up is better. Of course, so much as suggesting such a thing – particularly of an animated film – would get me disgraced as a “serious” movie buff. Oh well, I’d rather enjoy movies than fit into some club.
It seems action movies were my overall flavor of the month for September . While most of the action movies I watched were good, the best of the lot has to be Speed. I can’t believe I had never watched it before.
I also watched some notable “technically revolutionary” films in Jurassic Park and Tron. Two truly pioneering movies that I’ll no doubt talk more about later. Speaking of Tron, I also watched The Rocketeer again. Like Tron, The Rocketeer deserves mention with the best live-action Disney movies, alongside the more obvious choices of Mary Poppins and Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl.
I already reviewed Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings, which was also a lot of fun. My apologies to Mr. Scorsese that I watched a Marvel movie in the same month as one of his films. Or maybe he should apologize for being such a prude. That works too.
Best Movie I Watched All Month: Up
Still one of Pixar’s best films. Part of me is tempted to even say it’s the best Pixar film, but when I remember Inside Out, The Incredibles, Ratatouille, Wall-E and Toy Story 2 (still the best Toy Story) it gets difficult to pick a definitive winner. But Up is probably in the top three at least. Still one of my favorite movies full-stop.
Sure, Citizen Kane and Goodfellas are classic films that have earned their acclaim: Citizen Kane is widely considered the greatest film of all time, and I can understand it being considered the best up until that point. Though if we’re being honest, it isn’t magically better than any other great movie to be released since, as critics would have you believe. It’s just kind of become that “safe pick” for critics, similar to what Ocarina of Time would become for video games. It’s great, but many other works are just as great. Meanwhile, Goodfellas is often hailed as one of the best films of the 1990s, and rightfully so. It’s also often considered to be Martin Scorsese’s best film. To that I say… yeah, it probably is.
My point though, is that I can appreciate Citizen Kane and Goodfellas as great, groundbreaking films. They make for great conversation and it’s fun to dissect and analyze them. But Up is the kind of film that really moves me. It makes me appreciate life and its little things more. It makes me want to be a better person. It makes me cry. No Citizen Kane or Goodfellas has affected me on that level. So Up gets the crown. Sorry/Not sorry.
Best Movie I Watched for the First Time this Month: Speed (The Fugitive being a close runner-up)
I’m not sure if it’s the numerous references to Speed made in the Sonic the Hedgehog movie, or my need for more Dennis Hopper in my life, but I finally decided to check Speed out. Boy, am I glad I did. It’s honestly one of the best pure action movies I’ve ever seen. It deserves to be mentioned with the likes of Mad Max: Fury Road and Terminator 2. It’s pure popcorn bliss.
Shame about Speed 2: Cruise Control. Talk about a dip in quality between a movie and its sequel. Woof. Very ouch.
The Fugitive is also a classic 90s film, released a year earlier than Speed. Though it’s more of a suspenseful thriller than pure action. A feature film remake of the 1960s television series, The Fugitive was actually a really big deal in 1993, but for some reason doesn’t get talked about much anymore. We need to fix that and start talking about it again.
Worst Movie I Watched All Month: Bright
Speed 2 may be a disappointing sequel, but it isn’t entirely without merit (there are a few brief moments of suspense, and Willem DaFoe is fun as the baddie, even if he’s not an equal to Dennis Hopper’s villain from the original). Bright, on the other hand… Whoo boy….
In case you’ve forgotten (hopefully you’ve forgotten?), Bright is that Netflix movie from a few years back starring Will Smith as an LAPD officer in a modern world filled with fantasy races and creatures, with Will Smith’s partner being an orc. It isn’t the worst concept ever, but I always wonder why Hollywood and the like are constantly trying to “reinvent” fantasy. Fantasy opens the door to literally any story, in a way that no other genre can. So why not use that to tell an original story, instead of trying to reinvent fantasy itself?
Anyway, Bright is from the same director as 2016’s Suicide Squad, and somehow makes that movie look like a joy by comparison. The social commentary – while perhaps well meaning at some early point – is so heavy handed and constant (and I mean constant), that it just comes across as trying way too hard. The movie may have had something with that if it knew how to dial it back a little, but instead its constant shouting of its themes make it seem like it’s trying desperately to be important.
Basically, it’s like a Niell Blomkamp movie. Only fantasy instead of sci-fi.
On top of that, we have action that isn’t really exciting, comedy that isn’t funny, and a wildly inconsistent tone (note to filmmakers: if you’re going to go into as dark of territory as having the villains in your film murder a family, don’t try to be a jokey buddy cop movie two minutes later. It just doesn’t work). It’s a messy, ugly, unpleasant movie.
The Guilty Pleasure Award: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows
I genuinely love this movie. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not what you would call a “good” movie. It’s just that I don’t care. I’m having too much fun.
While none of the Ninja Turtles films would be considered fine cinema, I enjoy them greatly. As someone born during the boom of Turtlemania, I have a soft spot for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The first two films, in particular, are some of my earliest movie memories.
But Out of the Shadows is the Ninja Turtles movie I always wanted as a kid, but didn’t get until 2016. While the ugly character designs for the turtles are carried over from the (also enjoyable) 2014 movie, everything else is like the 1987 cartoon and the toys brought to life on the screen: It has Krang, it has Bebop and Rocksteady, it has Baxter Stockman, it brought back Casey Jones, it has the Technodrome, it has the theme song!
Due to Michael Bay being attached as producer, a lot of people seem to lump the 2014 and 2016 Ninja Turtles movies together with those awful, awful Transformers movies. They really don’t deserve that. The Transformers movies are bad. The Ninja Turtles reboot movies are fun. Dumb fun. But a whole lot of it!
It’s a shame Out of the Shadows was a box office bomb (which I once again attribute more to the Transformers/Michael Bay connection than the movie itself), because I feel like the series finally got on track to replicating the TMNT we all knew from the cartoons and video games, and could have had another fun sequel or two. But it was a dead end. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is now being rebooted (again) with two different movies (one animated, and a new live-action one), so it’s unfortunate that Out of the Shadows won’t have a proper follow-up. At the very least, please don’t recast Tyler Perry. He seemed to be having the time of his life as Baxter Stockman.
And there you go!
Again, hopefully I’ll be able to write about these movies more in-depth at some point, whether through reviews or other such write-ups. I already have so much more to say about some of them, that I really should get to those soon. And some of the movies I didn’t talk about as much here definitely deserve more love. We’ll see how quickly/slowly I get around to all of these.
September was definitely an enjoyable movie watching month for me. I’ll have to wait and see how October stacks up. If it does I may have to write another one of these (the fact that I already have my tickets to see Spirited Away – my favorite film – on the big screen is already a great sign). But please, don’t expect me to write these every month. I’m already backlogged with my video game reviews, I really should emphasize those for a while before I think about writing something else…
Hopefully you had a fun little read here. It was fun to write, and something a little different for me. So I hope you had a decently good time with this. At the very least, I gave you a place where you could read a little bit about Citizen Kane and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in one spot. I see this as an accomplishment.
That’s right, Kevin! The big day has finally arrived! It’s Wizard Dojo’s ONE-THOUSANDTH post! Huzzah!
This has been a long time coming. Both because it took a long time to write 1,000 posts, and also because my updates have been so slow these past few months it really dragged this out. But how great to finally be here, eh?
Here’s the short film “Fresh Guacamole” by PES, the shortest film ever nominated for an Oscar!
Ah, yes. Everything about that short is satisfying.
A big thank you to everyone who reads this blog, and double thank you to the people who have been reading it for a good while and stuck with it. And an additional thank you for the people who read it in the past, forgot about it, and then came back to it. You’re like Palpatine: somehow… you returned!
To quote the great philosopher Herman Munster: “I would like to thank all the little people who helped make this possible… I would like to, but I can’t, because I did it all myself.”
Have I referenced that before? Seems like I have. Ah well, it’s a great quote, and Herman Munster was a badass. So I regret nothing.
Anyway, what are we doing spending so much time on the thank yous? Let’s get down to business (to defeat the huns)! Let’s dedicate the rest of this thousandth blog milestone to a number of things I’ve been meaning to write for a good while, presented as different ‘chapters.’ You know, like Paper Mario. Back when Paper Mario was good.
Chapter 1: My Favorite Film of 2020
Finally! It’s been a long time since I revealed my favorite film of the year before the last few months of the next year. I mean, I’m still really late in doing this, and for that, I apologize. But it’s an improvement.
Go ahead and call me repetitious, but my favorite film of 2020 was an animated film. And no, it wasn’t Pixar’s Soul.
Sure, people might say I’m biased, as every year that I’ve named my favorite film of the year ever since I launched Wizard Dojo, the winner has been animated. But I’d argue that we’re simply in a great era of animated filmmaking. You always hear people complaining that movies these days are “getting worse” or that they’re dumbed down, but I believe people who say such things are ignoring the animated side of things (which, sadly, seems likely). Sure, maybe blockbusters are getting repetitious, art films are getting too self-absorbed, and indie films ironically feel like they’re coming off a conveyor belt. But animated films have continued to shine throughout the new millennium. So fans of animation, such as myself, are witnessing a kind of golden age for the medium.
Is that enough needless justification for my stance? And is it really such a bad thing in the first place? I mean, the Oscars select the same kind of dramas year after year (and continue to lose ratings. I wonder if there could be a connection there). So is it such a crime that some random dude on the internet is won over by animated films time and again?
Anyway, let’s cut to the chase. My favorite film of 2020 is…
Director Tomm Moore and his studio “Cartoon Saloon” have provided some of the best animated features of recent memory. Although Wolfwalkers is only the studio’s fourth feature film (and Moore’s third), the artistry and craftsmanship that has gone into them ascends them near the very top of the animation totem pole. Moore’s previous film, Song of the Sea, was one of my favorite films of the 2010s full stop, and Wolfwalkers is a more than worthy follow-up, being the best film of 2020 in my book.
Moore, who has appropriately been dubbed the “Irish Miyazaki,” has made three stunningly beautiful, hand-drawn fairy tales that are among the few works that deserve that Miyazaki comparison. There is an emotional depth and sensitivity to Tomm Moore’s films that make you feel for their stories and characters right from the get-go. Here’s a filmmaker who intimately understands fantasy storytelling, and makes films aimed at children that never once talk down to their target audience. They’re equal parts fun and captivating to audiences of any age.
Wolfwalkers tells the story of two girls: Robyn Goodfellowe, a hunter’s daughter, and Mebh, one of the titular Wolfwalkers, a being who takes the form of a wolf when her human body sleeps. While the two girls’ burgeoning friendship that serves as the heart of the story will certainly entertain kids (especially Mebh), the film also has a lot to say from a societal and philosophical perspective. Robyn is continuously forced to toil in a scullery, her proud father is reduced to being the whipping boy of a fanatical general, and poor Mebh and her wolves are in constant danger simply for existing.
I love this movie. It’s deep and beautiful and fun and magical, like all the best animated fairy tales. Pixar’s Soul was a good movie (though far from Pixar’s best), it had some important things to say, but often stumbled in trying to express them. Wolfwalkers didn’t suffer those issues. It’s a film that shows how everyone wants (and deserves) their freedom, though society doesn’t always seem to want that for them. It just so happens that those issues are told within a lovely fable of profuse visual splendor.
Song of the Sea was one of my favorite films of the 2010s (hopefully I’ll make a more concrete list on the subject soon), and seeing as I think Wolfwalkers is the best film of the only finished year of the 2020s as of this writing, I guess that makes it my favorite film of this decade so far. Together with 2009’s The Secret of Kells, Tomm Moore’s output already reads like an all-time great.
Chapter 2: Some Changes
Wizard Dojo has been around a few years now, and in that time I’ve written hundreds of reviews for video games and movies. I originally used a .5-based 1-10 rating scale when this site launched in 2014. In 2018 I converted to the more streamlined 1-10 scale using only whole numbers (and altering every score accordingly). Sometimes I miss the ol’ 9.5s and 8.5s, and wonder if I made the right choice. But then I remember that any of the “.5” scores below that are insanely arbitrary, and that confirms I did indeed make the right choice. I mean, what the hell is a 3.5, anyway?
What I’m getting at here is that I’m no stranger to altering some scores when need be. And I do feel that, with this 1,000th blog milestone, I may use this as an opportunity for another soft reboot of sorts. I have been tempted to change the scoring system again (like an A to F scale or something), or even omit it entirely, but I’m not going to do anything that drastic right now. But I do think I will be reviewing some of my past reviews (review-ception!), and altering them every here and there.
Some might say that’s unprofessional to change scores. But come on, people’s opinions change, they might see things in new lights. It’s not like I’m grading algebra papers and there are definitive right answers here.
Interestingly (to me, anyway), this all mostly applies to the video game side of things, though there may be some movie review score I might adjust. I guess there’s just something about the interactivity of games that makes it all more flip-floppy.
Some video game scores I’ve already altered. Others I may have to replay a bit so I can make the proper changes to the written review itself (which is the actual review, after all. The scores are just numbers to easily sum it all up). Though keep in mind it may take some time to get around to re-writing.
Some games whose scores have been altered include:
Kirby’s Dreamland 3 (SNES) – Promoted from an 8 to a 9/10: It’s the best Kirby game, and one of the most charming games ever made. Also one of the greatest (and tragically underrated) art styles in the medium’s history. Why haven’t the Animal Friends introduced here made subsequent appearances? Nago the cat is my home skillet!
Tetris Attack (SNES) – Promoted from an 8 to a 9/10: Honestly, Panel de Pon is one of the best falling block puzzle games of all time (even if the blocks don’t actually fall, but rise). The addition of the Yoshi’s Island characters, story and music of its Tetris Attack incarnation makes it the best version of the game. If only this version could see a re-release…
Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow (GBA) – Promoted from an 8 to a 9/10: I say this as a Nintendo fan, but when it comes to Metroidvania, I actually prefer the Castlevania side of things. Though Symphony of the Night is (rightfully) hailed as the best entry in the series, Aria of Sorrow on the Game Boy Advance comes closer than you might think. For a game to reach similar heights and depths to Symphony of the Night with the limitations of a handheld console in 2003 is one hell of an achievement.
Dark Souls 2: Scholar of the First Sin (PS4) – Demoted from an 8 to a 7/10: Despite the extreme views fans of the series may have, Dark Souls 2 is not a disgrace to the series. But I will admit it is the weakest entry of the SoulsBorne series nonetheless. The limited spawns of enemies can make it difficult if you need to pick up additional souls and items, but can also be a strange combination of easy and tedious if you re-light the bonfires after the same few enemies over and over just to exhaust their spawns and clear your path. And don’t get me started on the Shrine of Armana. Beautiful to look at, but the worst area in the entire series to play. Blech!
Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle (Switch) -Demoted from an 8 to a 7/10: Mario + Rabbids is a good game. The simple fact that it’s a good game involving the Rabbids is some sort of small miracle of its own. No one expected much out of it when it was released in 2017, but it ended up surprising people, myself included. While I still think it’s a good game, in retrospect I think maybe that surprise factor may have boosted our opinions of it. Yes, it’s a fun tactical RPG, but when I started replaying it some time ago, its flaws were more apparent. Primarily, its trial-and-error approach, which may work in a faster paced game. But in a turn-based, tactics RPG? It makes things a little too slow. Still a good game, I want to stress that, but not one of the best Mario spinoffs.
Battletoads (NES) – Demoted from a 5 to a 3/10: Ah, Battletoads! I seem to keep going back and lowering my score to this one. I feel kinda bad about that, since some people still swear by this game. But the sad truth is that the so called “legendary challenge” of Battletoads is more accurately described as “poor game design.” The game presents its levels as challenges that require one-hundred percent accuracy, yet the actual mechanics of the game are so stiff and clunky, that they just don’t allow the precision that the game demands. Some might say I just need to “git gud.” But if you don’t mind my bragging for a second, I get the platinum trophies in Fromsoftware games. I’m fine with a steep challenge. Battletoads is just a bad game. At least the music’s good. And I hear that newer Battletoads game is actually decent.
Some games whose scores I’ve been thinking of changing include:
Bloodborne (PS4)- Upping it from a 9 to a perfect 10/10: Honestly, Bloodborne is probably the best entry in the SoulsBorne series by Fromsoftware. And being the best in a series that has to be the most influential in the medium for at least the last decade has to amount to something. Maybe I just didn’t have enough insight the first time around to give it a perfect score?
Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze (Wii U/Switch)- Upping from a 9 to a perfect 10/10: Have I bragged up any game more on this site than DKC: Tropical Freeze? It’s hands down the best 2D platformer since the genre’s heyday in the 16-bit generation, has some of the best level design I’ve ever seen. And it has an all-time great soundtrack. Sure, I still wish there were more variety in the bonus rooms, and that there were more Animal Buddies other than Rambi, like in the old DKC games. But is that really enough to deny what is otherwise one of my favorite games of all time a perfect score?
Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (Gen) – Upping from an 8 to a 9/10: The most acclaimed Sonic game of all time, and the most popular Sega Genesis game of all time. It was also my favorite entry back when I was a kid. Though as I’ve gotten older, I do think Sonic 3 and Sonic & Knuckles were improvements. And Sonic Mania probably deserves the crown as the best in the series now. So basically, the reason Sonic 2 is an 8 is because I think it has similar but superior sequels, meaning it’s not the best such game to play today. Still, considering Sonic 2 has held up as well as it has after all these years, am I wrong to not rate it higher than I did?
I have also been considering changing some scores on the movies I’ve reviewed. Namely, depending on how I want to continue with how strict I want to keep my grading, Hayao Miyazaki’s Castle in the Sky, Ponyo, and Princess Mononoke are all worthy of perfect 10/10s (Castle in the Sky, in particular, is probably the best animated action film ever made). The only reason those films sit at 9s is because I’ve currently been doing the whole “minimal perfect scores” things by means of comparing a creator’s works, and only giving their absolute best perfect scores. And since Spirited Away and My Neighbor Totoro are both at perfect 10s, the above mentioned are at 9s. But the more I think about it, that’s pretty bogus. Am I just denying deserving movies of perfect scores just so I look more strict? That’s kind of pretentious of me. Perhaps being more open with my grading is the way to go, at least with movies. Video games seem more appropriate for stricter scoring, for whatever reason.
Or maybe all this is proof that I should do away with all this scoring nonsense…
Chapter 3: 2021 Video Game Awards
Huzzah! I’m getting my video game awards done at the same time as I named my favorite movie of the year! And it only took until mid-June of the next year. I’m really catching up!
As always, my video game awards are presented in mostly-traditional categories. So without further ado… here they are!
Best Sound: Demon’s Souls (PS5)
Is it cheating to award Best Sound to a remake of a game from 2009 that used pretty much the same sounds now that it did back then? If so, well then give this award to Crash Bandicoot 4. If not, then Demon’s Souls has to win.
From Software’s “SoulsBorne” games simply have the most atmospheric sound design in video games. And it all started here with Demon’s Souls. Clanking armors, the shrieks and grunts of some horrible monster around the corner, it’s all here, crisper and clearer than ever. Even the sounds that emanate from the PS5 controller are satisfying.
Given that I’ve awarded Best Sound to Dark Souls II, Bloodborne, Dark Souls III and Sekiro in the past, it seems only fitting that the game that started the Souls lineage should triumph in this category as well.
Best Music: Hades
Supergiant Games are no strangers to memorable soundtracks, and their most recent work, Hades, is no exception. Although the music of Hades isn’t quite at the forefront of things as it were in, say, Bastion, It still provides a mix of atmosphere and heat-pumping action that is more than fitting for the game.
Best Visuals: Demon’s Souls (PS5)
I don’t care if it’s an upgrade of a game originally released on the PS3 in 2009, the Demon’s Souls remake is gorgeous! Perhaps now that we’re deep into 2021, the Playstation 5 has seen more titles that are stronger showcases of the console’s graphical power. But there’s still none that I like to look at more than the Demon’s Souls remake. The textures, the colors, the lighting, everything. New PS5 games be damned. When it comes to pleasing aesthetics, Demon’s Souls has them beat.
Best Multiplayer: Fall Guys: Ultimate Knockout
It’s such a shame so much of Fall Guys’ thunder was stolen by Among Us shortly after release. For one, Fall Guys is a much better game than Among Us (Fall Guys actually has gameplay, which is a bonus), but it’s also sad that such a cute and charming game was on its way of becoming the new biggest thing in gaming, only to be spearheaded by a two-year old game that isn’t half as good.
Still, while Fall Guys’ popularity may have taken a hit, the sheer fun of it hasn’t. I’ve heard some people complain that Fall Guys doesn’t have enough depth to it, but that’s kind of what I like about it. It’s a throwback that suggests that *gasp!* fun gameplay might be enough to have players coming back.
Taking the popular battle royal genre of today, but giving it a lighthearted, platforming twist inspired by shows like Takeshi’s Castle and Wipeout, Fall Guys is always good fun. I still pick it up from time to time and have a blast every time.
Best Remake: Demon’s Souls (PS5)
When I originally played Demon’s Souls, it was after the other Souls games. As such, Demon’s Souls felt like it was lacking in certain areas, and it was easy to see where its successors improved on the experience.
Well, for whatever reason, the PS5 remake won me over much more strongly. Granted, there are some obvious improvements (excess items automatically going to your character’s storage is a huge improvement), but not so many obvious changes that it makes the source of my newfound appreciation for the game too apparent. It’s still very much Demon’s Souls, and there are still some areas that could have used some updating to be more like the subsequent Souls games. Yet somehow, I love the game way more now.
Simply a case of right place, right time? I don’t know. Maybe. But the point is the PS5 remake of Demon’s Souls made me see the game in a whole new, more positive light. I originally thought of Demon’s Souls as the weakest entry in the Souls series by a wide margin. And while it still may not be Dark Souls or Bloodborne, I now feel like Demon’s Souls can more properly be talked about in a similar light. That’s quite the improvement. As such, Demon’s Souls gets Best Remake!
Best Remaster/Re-release: Super Mario 3D All-Stars
Yes, it’s true, Super Mario 3D All-Stars is NOT what it could have been. Nintendo missed the opportunity to really spruce up the visuals of the games, as opposed to simply giving them a coat of HD gloss (which is what they did). The fact that the game lacks any extra features for players to delve into or read up on Mario’s history is questionable. Sunshine’s countless unpolished elements are left untouched. And where the hell is Galaxy 2?
Basically, if one series deserves better, it’s Super Mario.
Even if it were something of a missed opportunity, Super Mario 3D All-Stars still includes two all-time greats in Super Mario 64 and Super Mario Galaxy, and a decent third game in Super Mario Sunshine. You simply can’t go wrong.
Yes, Super Mario 3D All-Stars should have been something more. But considering that 64 and Galaxy are already so much more than most games, maybe we’re asking too much?
Best Content: Animal Crossing: New Horizons
I know that the PS4’s “Dreams” would seem to fit the bill here, considering that people can potentially create entire games within it. But “potentially” is the key word there. As initially amazed as I was with Dreams, it quickly became apparent that the majority of content people made was unfinished at the best of times, and outright crap at its worst. Sure, people made a lot of crap with Super Mario Maker, but you’ll find a lot more excellent Mario Maker stages than you will Dreams creations.
So yeah, Dreams doesn’t win this.
Animal Crossing: New Horizons does win this, however, for the sheer number of tasks you can do at any given time. And in traditional Animal Crossing fashion, you can go about it at your own pace. Between fishing, bug collecting, crafting, digging for fossils, diving, visiting other players, having other players visit you, there’s just always something to do in Animal Crossing. No matter how big or how small.
Between lengthy play sessions and small bursts of play, my total playtime in Animal Crossing: New Horizons stands tall over any other game on the Nintendo Switch. New Horizons is simply a treasure trove of fun things to do.
Best Gameplay: Hades
Hades is a game of surprising depth. Its rogue-like setup and hack and slash gameplay make it instantly engaging, but you’ll constantly be surprised by just how much there is to pretty much every aspect of the game. The six primary weapons, as well as the acquired upgrades and items you get along the way, would already give the game great variety, but combine it with all the powers you gain (and lose) with every run through the underworld, and Hades is a game that’s always changing and evolving.
With so much variety on top of what is already smooth and fun action, Hades is one of the most addicting action games in years.
Best Indie Game: Hades
Supergiant Games are no strangers to making acclaimed independent titles, and Hades is most likely their best work to date. An engrossing, action-packed indie classic that also manages to have a pretty interesting narrative.
Best Handheld Game: Animal Crossing: New Horizons
Now that I’m including Nintendo Switch titles for the title of Best Handheld Game, this was a really tough choice between Animal Crossing: New Horizons and Hades. In the end, I went with Animal Crossing, simply because it can be easier enjoyed in short bursts as well lengthy play sessions, which seems ideal for gaming on the go, while Hades is a little more demanding of your time. Hey, I had to pick one, okay!
New Horizons may not be the first handheld Animal Crossing, and I understand the complaints some have that it’s lacking some of the features of its 3DS predecessor. But New Horizons is still a prime example of why the series works so well on handheld platforms. Its relaxing “play at your own pace” gameplay, and the hidden depth therein, make it a perfect fit for gaming on the go.
Best Platform: Nintendo Switch
Uh oh, I gave the nod to Nintendo over Sony. According to the internet, that makes me a blind fanboy. But c’mon, the PS4’s biggest game of 2020 was an overhyped sequel to 2013’s most overhyped game, and the new, state-of-the-art PS5’s best game was a remake of a PS3 game. 2020 may not have been the Switch’s best year, but Animal Crossing and Hades alone really helped propel it.
Maybe a B+ year for Switch overall, but it still managed to shine brightest.
Game of the Year 2020: Animal Crossing: New Horizons
I only played Hades more recently, and that recency bias almost forced my hand to name it Game of the Year. It certainly would be a deserving choice, to be sure. However, I started thinking about those first few months Animal Crossing: New Horizons came out, the countless hours I poured into it, and how it basically ruled the minds of all those who played it.
Importantly (and go ahead and call this cheating), those first few months coincided with the first months of the dreadful Covid-19 pandemic. In such a dark time, Animal Crossing: New Horizons was that tiny ray of light that brought some happiness and normalcy to the world. That’s something that can’t be taken for granted.
Both Animal Crossing: New Horizons and Hades are worthy for the title of best video game of 2020. But due to unprecedented circumstances, it’s the latest iteration of Animal Crossing that I feel deserves to take the honors.
Though even without said circumstances, Animal Crossing: New Horizons has so much going for it. Yes, the coffee shop and a few other features from the 3DS version are absent, but what is present represents Animal Crossing at its peak. Collecting items, building up your island, visiting friends, hording those sweet, sweet bells. Few series provide such simple enjoyment as Animal Crossing, and New Horizons provides it better than the series has before.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to my island and pull some weeds…
Runners-up: Hades, Fall Guys: Ultimate Knockout, Crash Bandicoot 4: It’s About Time
Chapter 4: SomehowPalpatine Returned
No, I don’t care to elaborate.
Chapter 5: Where We’re Going We Don’t Need Roads
First, some apologies. I’m sorry my site has really slowed down with the updates since the last quarter of 2020. Things looked like they would improve in 2021 when I reviewed all five Oddworld titles (before SoulStorm’s release) in January. But since then, I’ve slowed right back down again. For the first time since I launched this site, May of 2021 was the first month where I didn’t post a single update. And for this slowness, I apologize.
On the plus side, as I’ve been writing this 1000th post, I’ve also written a few additional reviews, which I will make public in the days following this celebratory post.
I’m hoping that my updates will once again pick up in the coming weeks and months, though I do have to admit my actual reviews for movies and video games may not be as frequent as they once were. Simply put: I can’t keep up with them all. As much as I would like to review every game that catches my eye and every movie I see, that’s just not possible, unless this were to somehow magically become a full-time job.
By this I mean that, in the past, I would often buy games (sometimes when I really didn’t have the money to spare) just so I could get an extra review on this site. To give myself a compliment, I feel that commitment to something (in this case, creating content for a website) is admirable. But if I’m being realistic, I just can’t keep up with that pace (notice I still need to actually write my reviews of the aforementioned Animal Crossing: New Horizon and Hades). Partly because of life, and partly because (as I’ve complained about so many times) modern video games are just too damn long. And of course they’re expensive. As for movies, well, there’s just so many of them, and while I appreciate movies of all kinds, I admit there are certain types of films that I certainly enjoy writing about more than others (or, at the very least, where the writing comes to me more naturally than others).
Don’t worry, I still hope to pick up the pace and get a steady flow of content in the future. But, aside from my 400th video game review milestone (which I’m just so close to already), I won’t be rushing myself to get to the next big milestone for a while. Maybe expect a small handful of reviews every month, and maybe an additional piece of writing and (hopefully) a top 5/10 list. I’ve been meaning to catch up on making such lists, so maybe an easier flow of reviews will help me finally get to those lists.
Another reason why I may not be racing to get as many reviews done as possible is – as I’ve stated so many times in the past I’m now kind of tired of saying it and not pulling through with doing it – I would like to get started on other creative endeavors. Doing something in a video format would be interesting, and something I’ve given a lot of thought into for quite some time, so maybe it’s time I finally do it (I could always post those videos here as well). And more importantly, I really need to start delving deeper into learning video game development. I’ve never been one who could just simply enjoy things like movies and video games. I’ve always wanted to make my own creations, ever since I was a kid.
While I will continue to update this site as much as possible, suffice to say if I were given the choice between reviewing stuff made by other people, or making stuff of my own, the latter option is the one I would describe as my dream come true. So it’s about time I started taking the appropriate steps to making that dream a reality.
So don’t worry, Wizard Dojo isn’t going anywhere. I just have other things to do, and places I need to be.
Chapter 6: Top 10 Video Game Launch Titles (2021 Edition)
Here we are at the THIRD edition of my list of the best video game launch titles. The first time I did it was a simple top five (with runners-up) that I posted on the launch day of this site. The second was a proper top 10, and happened in 2018, when I did a sort of “soft reboot” for this site. Since I like to think this 1000th post constitutes another kind of new beginning for Wizard Dojo, it seemed appropriate to include a third edition here.
So here now is a (slightly) updated installment to my list of the best launch titles in video game history. The games that released right alongside their console (sometimes in the same box!) and set a high standard right out of the gate. Oh, and keep in mind these entries were all released on the same day as their consoles, so even though Super Smash Bros. Melee and Pikmin are often considered launch games for the GameCube, they were only released around the same timeframe, not the same day. So they aren’t here.
So here now – again – are my top 10 video game launch titles!
10: Demon’s Souls (Playstation 5)
The Playstation brand has produced some great consoles. But you know something, they’ve never really been too good with launch titles. Every time I think of great video game launch titles, I can’t say a whole lot of games from Sony’s consoles come to mind (and by that I mean none do). Well, it looks like the PS5 has finally given the Playstation brand it’s first truly great launch title… and all they had to do was remake a Playstation 3 game from eleven years earlier.
Okay, perhaps Demon’s Souls on PS5 is a little something of a cheat. But it’s also the first time a Playstation console has had something truly great right out of the gate, so that has to count for something, right?
Although some of Demon’s Souls’ design choices may be rough around the edges when compared to the subsequent Souls games, the PS5 remake does a great job at streamlining some of the more cumbersome elements of the original 2009 game to bring this influential title a bit more up to date.
Sony may still be waiting on that launch game that really encapsulates what its console is all about, but Demon’s Souls’ intricate combat, deep design, and unforgettable world make it the best game to launch alongside a Playstation console to date.
9: The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (Wii)
In its earlier years, Nintendo would use its star franchise, Super Mario, to ring in a new console. But in more contemporary times, it’s Nintendo’s other premiere franchise, The Legend of Zelda, that simultaneously ends one console and ushers in the next. This unique trend started in 2006, when The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess closed the door to the GameCube and helped bring about the age of the Wii.
Like Demon’s Souls on PS5, Twilight Princess was perhaps not the best showcase of the Wii for this reason (the motion controls were kind of tacked on, but still fun), but the sheer quality of the game itself has to earn it a spot on the list. It’s certainly the ‘biggest’ of the traditional Zelda titles, featuring terrific dungeon design and some of Link’s greatest gadgets and gizmos.
With the two follow-up console titles in the series trying to change up the Zelda formula (to varying degrees of success), Twilight Princess is kind of like the last traditional Zelda game. That gives the game something of a bittersweet appeal in hindsight. But if Twilight Princess were to be the last traditional Zelda title, it was a high note to go out on.
Perhaps Twilight Princess isn’t the most “Wii” of Wii games. But its still one of the biggest and best Zelda titles, and Wii owners didn’t even have to wait to play it (unless they played a certain other launch title first).
8: SoulCalibur (Dreamcast)
Yes, SoulCalibur was originally in arcades. But its port to the Sega Dreamcast as part of that console’s launch was considered a nearly-perfect port of the weapons-based fighter. Considering even the likes of Street Fighter 2 and Mortal Kombat were considered to have sacrificed some quality in the transition to home consoles, it’s quite the achievement.
SoulCalibur was to 3D fighters what the aforementioned Street Fighter 2 and Mortal Kombat were to 2D ones. Intricate combat coupled with a varied cast of characters made for a deep fighter. And with the Dreamcast version losing nothing from its arcade counterpart, SoulCalibur was, at long last, the “arcade at home” experience fans had been looking for. It’s still one of the most acclaimed video games of all time! Also, jiggle physics!
Sonic Adventure was another memorable launch title for the Dreamcast. Though I’d be lying if I said Sonic Adventure stands the test of time, even with my nostalgia for it. SoulCalibur, on the other hand, has held up surprisingly well. Considering SoulCalibur was a pioneer in the 3D fighter genre, that timelessness is all the more impressive.
The SoulCalibur series may not be as acclaimed as it once was. But rest assured, the original’s place in video game history is well secure.
7: Halo: Combat Evolved (Xbox)
Dang, it hurts to put Halo at only number seven on this list. Honestly, it’s at this point where things got reeeally hard to rank, even this third time around. Make no mistake about it, however, Halo’s placement is no indictment of anything it did wrong as a launch title. It’s only a testament to the accomplishments of the remaining games on this list.
Without Halo, would the Xbox brand be such a prominent force in gaming today, twenty years later? I honestly don’t think it would be. Remember, the original Xbox was competing with the white hot Playstation 2 (and to a much lesser extent, industry mainstay Nintendo with the GameCube). Without something truly memorable at launch, the Xbox brand may have been doomed to have just been “that other guy” in the video game console equation.
Thankfully for Xbox, it had Halo.
Goldeneye 007 may have been the game that made first-person shooters work on home consoles, but it really has nothing on Halo.
Halo streamlined what needed fixing in the genre (only two weapons at a time, so no more endless cycling through your arsenal to find the weapon you’re looking for), and also added so much to it. The multiplayer of course speaks for itself. Anyone who owned an Xbox spent countless hours with friends and family in deathmatches and capture the flags. But for a great change of pace for the genre, Halo even included a great single-player campaign that was worth playing again and again. You could even play said campaign with a second player!
Don’t get me wrong, there were plenty of good games on the Xbox, but suffice to say Halo’s appeal transcended all of them. It wasn’t until its own sequel hit store shelves three years later – with added online functionality – that Halo: Combat Evolved was usurped as the biggest game on the console.
6: Wii Sports (Wii)
Maybe I just shouldn’t make these lists, because placing Wii Sports at number six is kind of killing me. No, it’s not the deepest game on this list, but it – perhaps more so than any other game – expresses exactly what its console is all about. Sure, Twilight Princess filled the need for a new installment in a beloved Nintendo franchise, but it was also originally conceived as a GameCube title. But Wii Sports was the Wii game.
Wii Sports is good, simple fun. Anyone, no matter their prior experience with video games, could pick it up and play. You had five sports included (tennis, golf, bowling, baseball and my personal favorite, boxing), all of which were played with motion controls. Simply move the Wii remote, and the character would move accordingly. It’s kind of weird how so few other games (on Wii and elsewhere) would end up utilizing motion controls half as well. Wii Sports came right out of the box, and got everything so right.
Oh, and you can’t forget the Miis. These simplified, player-created avatars became such a staple for Nintendo, that they continue to this day on Nintendo Switch, surviving long after the Wii name itself. Wii Sports just wouldn’t have been the same without them. Seriously, imagine the same concept of a game, but with a realistic looking baseball player. It’s just not the same, is it?
Wii Sports was just that perfect storm of components. Its simple, addictive, player-friendly gameplay combined with the innovation of the console itself made it an unforgettable experience. Even with a new Zelda ready and waiting, Wii Sports was the first place most Wii owners went to on their homepage (well, maybe after the Mii Channel).
No doubt the appeal of Wii Sports helped the Wii become the phenomenon that it was, which in turn helped gaming as a whole become more accepted as a mainstream pastime.
5: Tetris (Game Boy)
Although Tetris actually predates the Game Boy, it’s on Nintendo’s original handheld juggernaut where it became a phenomenon. It was a match made in heaven: Tetris’s simple gameplay of aligning falling blocks worked perfectly for the handheld console. Tetris was the kind of game you could play for a few minutes or for hours at a time (provided you had the batteries).
Sure, being on the Game Boy may have brought Tetris worldwide recognition, but I’d argue Game Boy was the real beneficiary for having Tetris be a part of it. No doubt the infectious, deceitfully deep gameplay of Tetris helped boost the Game Boy’s sales early on, and even throughout its lifetime.
Other titles such as Super Mario Land, Kirby’s Dream Land and The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening helped the Game Boy continue to grow, and the Game Boy is one of the only consoles (maybe the only one) to get a second life when it was supposed to be at its end, due to a little game called Pokemon. But the Game Boy would have never made it to Pokemon if it weren’t for Tetris. This falling-block puzzler even went on to transcend the Game Boy and consoles themselves, being released on virtually any available electronic and digital platform in existence at this point.
To this day, Tetris remains one of the best games of all time. The Game Boy may have helped Tetris in its ascension towards world domination, but I don’t think it’s a stretch to say Nintendo’s long dominance in the handheld gaming market (which even continues today with the Nintendo Switch) owes a lot to the fact that Tetris was available on the Game Boy right from the get-go.
4: Super Mario Bros. (NES)
I have to stress this every time: if we’re going by influence alone, Super Mario Bros. would top this and every other list. Although it may seem hard to believe nowadays with how far video games have come since, but no game showcased a bigger leap from what came before than Super Mario Bros. did in 1985.
The sheer fact that Mario could start one level on land, enter a pipe, and then be submerged in water with accompanying mechanics, was unlike anything else at the time. Before Super Mario Bros., if a game was going to be underwater, then that’s what the game was in its entirety, all on a single screen.
Super Mario Bros. brought adventure to video games. Even better, it did it while also having pitch perfect gameplay. It set the standard of forward-thinking ideas and flawless execution that would come to define the series. It singlehandedly made the NES the console of the 80s and set the stage for Nintendo’s many other franchises to follow. Not to mention it did it all during something of a dark age for the video game medium. Its impact and influence can’t be overstated.
Sure, there are plenty of better Mario games now (a couple of which you’ll be seeing on this list), but the original Super Mario Bros. remains a timeless classic in its own right. Which is no small feat for an NES launch game.
3: Super Mario 64 (Nintendo 64)
If one of a launch game’s biggest jobs is to showcase what a new generation can do that its predecessors could not, than no game has ever matched Super Mario 64 in that regard, and I don’t believe one ever will.
Super Mario 64 wasn’t the first 3D video game, but it may as well have been, as it was the first to truly bring the concept to life. For the first time, a character could roam freely in a 3D environment, player’s could go about the game world as they pleased. And thankfully, the exquisite design Super Mario had been known for remained fully intact.
Just as Mario reinvented video games in 1985 with Super Mario Bros., he did it all over again with Super Mario 64, this time elevating 3D gaming from a mere novelty into being the direction the medium would traverse going forward.
It may be hard for some to appreciate these days with how far gaming has come, but the sheer act of moving Mario around the courtyard of Princess Peach’s castle was a revelation. Mario now had acrobatic moves, like a triple jump, a wall jump and a punch/kick combo. Some of his moves (like that weird crouching, breakdance-like kick) seemed to exist just because they could in Mario’s new 3D environment. Never before had the sheer act of controlling a character in a video game felt so special, and it’s seldom been approached since.
Sony’s Playstation was the new kid on the block at the time. It may have been the “cooler” console with the fresher faces. But it was one of gaming’s oldest icons who paved the way for the future.
2: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (Nintendo Switch)
History repeated itself in 2017 when – just like Twilight Princess simultaneously ended the GameCube era and ushered in the Wii eleven years earlier – The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, after many delays, closed the book on the ill-fated Wii U and started a new chapter for Nintendo with the Switch. Though this time, instead of a hefty traditional Zelda title, we had one that reinvented its series.
At the expense of saying something controversial, Ocarina of Time had held the Zelda series back for too long. While Mario was constantly changing the rules of his series, Link’s adventures felt like they didn’t want to walk too far out of Ocarina’s shadow (itself kind of an extension of A Link to the Past’s shadow, if we’re being honest). They remained great games, to be sure. But their more conservative tendencies may have prevented them from building stronger individual legacies.
Thankfully, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild changed all that, rethinking and rewriting the rules of how Zelda games are played. Hyrule was now a vast open world, Link has a constantly changing arsenal of weapons, he learns all of his key abilities right out of the gate, you can even go straight from the beginning of the game to the final boss, if you’re brave or fool enough.
Nintendo previously seemed to think making such drastic changes to The Legend of Zelda would have been sacrilegious, but the changes Breath of the Wild brought with it should only restore faith into the Zelda series. Breath of the Wild is as fun and deep as any entry in the franchise, but is swimming in ideas and concepts that are all its own.
Yes, it was originally planned as a Wii U exclusive, and who knows how that system’s fortunes may have differed had things gone to plan. But like Twilight Princess, its late-game transition to the next console in line gave it that special feeling that only the best launch games can generate. And Breath of the Wild is so good, it should rank near the top of any list of launch titles.
But there is one greater still…
1: Super Mario World (Super NES)
On the surface, Super Mario World may seem like it’s “merely” a bigger sequel to the NES Mario games, but it shouldn’t take long to realize it’s so much more than that.
While Super Mario Bros. 3 introduced the world map into the equation, Super Mario World turned the world map into a level itself. Now stages included multiple exits, the map featured branching paths, there were secret worlds, and secret worlds inside of secret worlds! You could unlock new paths in earlier levels within the later levels of the game, and find warps to travel to different points in the world map. You could try to find the quickest route to take down Bowser, or uncover every last one of Super Mario World’s many secrets, essentially creating both speedrunning and completionism as we know them today in one fell swoop.
Levels were no longer completed simply by going left to right. Now, Mario often had to travel upward, downward, over and into the levels themselves to find every hidden exit. Metroid and Castlevania (the collective “Metroidvania”) understandably get credit for their emphasis on exploration, but Super Mario World kind of beat them to the punch.
World refined the flight mechanics introduced in Super Mario Bros. 3 through the now-iconic Super Cape power-up, which allowed Mario to travel and explore levels like never before. More importantly, Super Mario World introduced us all to Yoshi! The adorable dinosaur was a (literal) game-changer, and became so popular he starred in games of his own soon after. Has any character addition in a video game sequel ever had a bigger impact?
Something few people seem to mention about Super Mario World these days is that it was the first example of a new entry in a beloved franchise launching new hardware. Though Mario is a constant presence in gaming now, Super Mario World had to prove that to be the case. If the game failed, the Super Mario series may have faded with the NES. So Super Mario World had a hefty task at hand in proving Mario wasn’t simply a product of the 80s. Suffice to say it passed the test with flying colors.
Super Mario World showcased nex-gen capabilities in a way not dissimilar to Super Mario 64 (Yoshi simply wasn’t possible in the NES Marios), and features the same kind of franchise reinvention that would later define Zelda: Breath of the Wild. And it ensured Mario was here to stay.
30 years ago, Super Mario World showed us the best way to introduce a new console. And now, 30 years later, it hasn’t been matched. The best launch game of all time.
Honorable mentions: Sonic Adventure (Dreamcast), Luigi’s Mansion (GameCube), Nintendo Land (Wii U), New Super Mario Bros. U (Wii U)
Chapter 7: The Last One
Did I say the chapters in this post made it like Paper Mario? But I only made it to seven chapters, as opposed to eight… So I guess it’s more like Bug Fables. Still better than Sticker Star, Color Splash or Origami King. That’s for damned sure!
Yes, sadly, we come to the end of my one-thousandth post. There were some other things I wanted to include in here, but seeing as it took me so long just to get this done, they’ll have to wait for another day. I mean, I haven’t posted anything in two months! I can’t keep delaying this.
So I wasn’t able to make this 1,000th blog post everything it could be, but I hope you had some fun despite this. I’ll keep those additional ideas handy, either as their own posts (which might get them more traffic anyway, come to think of it), or as part of my Christmas Special or some other such post. Hopefully this site won’t have another draught like that between my review of Raya and the Last Dragon and this 1,000th post for quite some time.
Thankfully, I have a few movie and video game reviews that I’ve completed as I wrote this in bits and pieces. They’ve just been waiting for me to post this 1,000th post (so that it would actually be the 1,000th post). So now I can start posting those reviews in the coming days.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I must be off now. There’s more writing to be done, and all of that other stuff I mentioned earlier, too.
Once again, a very big thank you to everyone who reads this site. It’s been a fun ride, these past 1,000 blogs. Here’s to one-thousand more. And a lot more after that. It’s not like I plan to stop at 2,000 or anything. Why am I explaining this to you? You knew that “here’s to one-thousand more” doesn’t mean “and that’s it.”
Thanks for stopping by! Keep on keepin’ on! And have a nice day!
Secret Bonus Chapter: Chapter 8: Ranking the Paper Mario Games!
Wait? You mean there are eight chapters here? Well then, I need to think of something to write…
I got it! With the above mention of Paper Mario, here is my “unofficial” ranking of the Paper Mario games (unofficial in that I haven’t played some of the entries in many a year, and am mostly going by memory). Hopefully I can get around to replaying the entries I haven’t reviewed (including slogging my way to the end of Origami King), as I would like to properly review them all some day.
Anyway, here’s my ranking of the Paper Mario series.
7: Paper Mario: Sticker Star
Tragically, Sticker Star kind of marked the end of Mario RPGs. The Mario & Luigi series would continue with two more entries afterwards, but both Dream Team and Paper Jam (the latter of which served as a crossover between Mario & Luigi and Paper Mario) were watered down disappointments of what came before (Dream Team at least still had some original characters, but Paper Jam went all in with the bizarre “No more originality allowed!” mentality that Sticker Start started). This isn’t about Mario & Luigi, though, it’s about Paper Mario.
That’s the sad thing about it though, Sticker Star effectively killed everything people loved about Paper Mario. No more RPG elements, no more partners, no more original characters, no more strategy, no more…anything really.
But at least it had that sticker gimmick! Guh-hyuk! Let me see if I can make any sense of Paper Mario: Sticker Star’s Sticker mechanic: Instead of Mario and a partner having their own moves for battle, all of Mario’s actions used consumable stickers. Because this game hates RPGs (while still using a turn-based battle system), you didn’t gain experience points and level up to get stronger. Instead, your rewards for winning battles were either A) more stickers or B) coins…for buying more stickers. So you use these consumable items in battle, so that you can get more of these consumable items for battle… There’s absolutely no point to the battle system.
Worse still, boss fights could only be won by using very specific stickers (I think they were referred to as “Things.” The creativity is just astounding). Without those “Things” the boss fights were literally unbeatable. So again, no strategy, just use the boss-specific “Thing” and that’s it, you win!
Honestly, I think Sticker Star is up there with the likes of Metroid: Other M as one of the worst games Nintendo has ever made. It killed the Mario RPGs. That right there is heartbreaking.
6: Paper Mario: The Origami King
It was tough deciding which game was worse between Color Splash and Origami King. While Color Splash continued with Sticker Star’s nonsensical formula, it at least improved it somewhat. But Origami King tried to (needlessly) change up the Paper Mario formula once again, and created something that was every bit as pointless as Sticker Star (though with maybe some added charm). So I decided Origami King is the worse of the two.
The thing that really irks me about Origami King is how it pretends like it’s trying to reach out to fans of the original Paper Mario games. It acts like partner characters are back, except these partners are controlled by AI, have literally one attack (which usually misses anyway), and are characters like a generic Bob-omb named Bob-omb! The Bob-omb named Bob-omb even mentions that he used to have a friend, a fellow Bob-omb who was also named Bob-omb! Isn’t that totally funny? It’s not like it’s an example of the many drawbacks that come with the series’ bizarre enforced limitations to not introduce original characters or anything.
Then there are the battles. Origami King would have you believe proper turn-based battles made a comeback, but again, it’s just a huge gimmick where you have to line up enemies in a set amount of time, and though the items aren’t one-time consumables anymore, they still wear out eventually and you have to replace them. Naturally, you don’t gain experience points or level up for battling, you just get coins to buy more items for battling that wear out during battle. Again, what’s the point?!
And don’t get me started on boss battles, where you have to move to a certain space on the board in order to attack the boss, but the bosses can often change the board around as you’re moving, rendering your strategy pointless.
All the more baffling is that these changes were made to supposedly make the game more kid-friendly. But it’s so convoluted I can’t imagine very many kids would have much fun with it. Kids seem to like the RPG elements of Pokemon, so what was so bad about Paper Mario being an RPG again?
5: Paper Mario: Color Splash
The Wii U edition of Paper Mario was revealed to little fanfare. Probably because it decided to go the same route as Sticker Star, and Nintendo knew people wouldn’t be happy about it. It’s one of the most obnoxiously stubborn video games ever made.
At the very least, Color Splash is an improvement over Sticker Star, even if it shares many of its poor design choices (consumable items for battle, no partners, bosses that require the use of a specific item). Though at least this time around, there was some semblance of character progression, since Mario needed to paint the environment with his hammer, and battling could result in Mario levelling up his hammer to have more paint. Hey, any improvement over Sticker Star is something.
I suppose at the very least, Color Splash’s insistence in following suit with Sticker Star meant it didn’t pretend like it was trying to bring back old fans as well, like Origami King would eventually do. Stubborn though it may be, at least this entry was honest.
4: Super Paper Mario
I’m going to be a little controversial here, because some people absolutely love this game to death. But I feel like Super Paper Mario is where things started to go wrong for the series. Now, it’s not a bad game like Sticker Star, but it did start the trend of Nintendo and Intelligent Systems way overthinking what changes needed to be made to Paper Mario.
Change can be a good thing, of course. The mainline Mario series is always changing, and it’s a big reason why I think it deserves its praise as gaming’s best series. But did Paper Mario really need to change so drastically by its third entry?
To be fair, at the time, Super Paper Mario’s changes were a one-off experiment. That’s fine, but it’s a shame Nintendo decided from then on out, Paper Mario needed to be completely revamped.
I have fond memories of Super Paper Mario. It was fun, funny, and contained some original ideas. It abandoned the turn-based nature of the previous two Paper Marios in favor of a platformer with RPG elements. It’s not a terrible idea, though the fact that the mainline Mario games are already platformers does make the change a bit questionable. Maybe a more Symphony of the Night-style Mario action game would have justified the change more? But I digress.
The issue with Super Paper Mario, though, is that despite the change to a much faster paced genre, it has even more story and dialogue than the previous Paper Mario games. One reason why stories, cutscenes and dialogue boxes work for turn-based RPGs is because they’re already a slower paced genre. But turning an RPG into a platformer, while doubling down on the RPG storytelling seems conflicting with itself. I’m not saying platformers can’t have stories, but when Super Paper Mario has more story than the RPG Paper Mario games, it brings the platformer side of thing down to a crawl.
I remember enjoying Super Paper Mario, and hopefully I’ll revisit it in the near future. But it was the game that made the cracks in the foundation of the series.
3: Bug Fables: The Everlasting Sapling
And now the quality ramps up considerably.
Nintendo fans have made it no secret that they crave the return of the original Paper Mario formula. And for some unknowable reason, Nintendo continues to ignore them. So a small independent studio who were fellow fans of classic Paper Mario decided if Nintendo isn’t going to listen, they’ll just make their own Paper Mario instead.
Bug Fables: The Everlasting Sapling really is classic Paper Mario in all but the names and faces. A wonderful (kind of) return to form for something fans have been starved of for far too long. It should also rank alongside games like Undertale, Shovel Knight and Hades as one of the best indie games around (and Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night. Does that count as indie?).
Turn-based battle system with action commands? Check. Paper-thin characters but no overbearing paper gimmicks? Check. Character progression? Check. The only thing missing are partner characters, but that’s because Bug Fables has a set team of three characters right out the gate. That’s fine. It had to do something different to stand out.
I think my only real issue with Bug Fables is that the difficulty can be a little inconsistent. I actually found some earlier segments to be more challenging than some later stages of the game. It’s not a big deal, but I guess you’d ideally want a game’s difficulty to gradually increase as you go (though it’s not an RPG, Donkey Kong Country 2 is probably the best example of a game increasing in difficulty piece by piece. So look to that for inspiration).
Somewhat hilariously, Bug Fables made its way to the Switch mere months before Origami King. While the latter may have boasted the Paper Mario name, Bug Fables was the Paper Mario you’d been looking for.
Oh, how wonderful it was (and is) to play a game like this again. Why oh why can’t Nintendo see why people love this so much?
2: Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door
The second entry in the Paper Mario series seems to be the fan-favorite: Partly because it was a fantastic game, and partly because it was the last time Paper Mario was the Paper Mario we knew and loved. Like many great sequels, The Thousand-Year Door is bigger than the original in almost every way: the story is darker and more serious, the writing is more colorful and witty, there’s more sidequests. Overall, a great sequel.
With that said, I do find some of the partners to be a little bit of a downgrade from the first game (the first few partners even come across as the B-team counterparts to those of the N64 original), and while there’s nothing wrong with the battle system, there’s nothing wrong with it because it was basically just carried over from the first game. My point being that The Thousand-Year Door is bigger than the first game in pretty much every way, but maybe not as innovative in the little details. But now I’m being nitpicky.
If it ain’t broke don’t fix it, I suppose. It certainly beats the “we know fans love the original, but we’re choosing to ignore that and strip away everything they loved from the series” mentality of later entries.
It’s easy to see why The Thousand-Year Door remains so beloved. It took the foundation of the original Paper Mario, and made it into as grand and epic of a journey as any Mario has ever seen. It should rank highly among any list of Nintendo RPGs (a category which I feel doesn’t get the credit it really deserves).
Of course, I think I’ve made it obvious what my number one pick is…
1: Paper Mario
Sometimes, you just can’t beat the original. Though I guess in this case, Nintendo stopped trying to do that long ago. But again, I digress.
What makes the original Paper Mario still stand out twenty years on is the purity of it all. This is the most “Mario” of the Mario RPGs. But I mean that in a meaningful sense, not in the “it can only have characters from the main series and nothing original” sense of the newer entries. It’s the most “Mario” in that it feels like a mainline entry turned into an RPG: Bowser is the villain, but there’s a twist in that he now possesses the wish granting Star Rod to make himself invincible. Peach still needs rescuing, but there are moments between Mario’s adventure where the player takes control of her which prove her resourcefulness. Classic Mario enemies return, but often as friendly NPCs and even Mario’s party members. And while its battle system is turn-based, the action commands make it still feel like a traditional Mario game.
Granted, Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars beat Paper Mario to the punch on the whole (and at the expense of undermining this whole ranking, I think Super Mario RPG is the superior game. But it’s also like my favorite game of all time so no harm there, I suppose). Though Super Mario RPG kind of feels like its own thing (one that Nintendo and company really should revisit someday, mind you), whereas Paper Mario feels like it could be part of the mainline Mario series, despite its change in genre.
Paper Mario may have been the only noteworthy RPG on the Nintendo 64. But if the console could only have one, it was lucky to have this one. It’s probably my favorite Nintendo 64 title (though Super Mario 64 and Banjo-Tooie need to be mentioned), one of the system’s few truly timeless games, and one of my favorite RPGs.
The Thousand-Year Door may have added to it. Bug Fables may have paid homage to it. And subsequent Paper Mario games have done… whatever the hell they’ve done to it. But whenever I think of Paper Mario at its best, I always go back to the N64 original.
Chapter 9: The Actual Last One
Well, that last chapter certainly was totally planned from the start and not hastily written at the eleventh hour. Okay, so actually it had been planned for this 1,000th post, then it was one of the ideas I dropped from this celebratory post so I could get it done. But then, like the madman I am, I decided to add the Paper Mario ranking in here after all at the last minute.
There are, however, still those few extra ideas I had that will have to wait for another day. I actually mean that this time. They’ll have to wait. Hopefully you like them in the not-too-distant future.
So yes, now I’ll leave you with a big, fat T H A N K Y O U ! Thanks for your readership, whether it be continued or first time readership. And also thanks to movies and video games for being so great and giving me something I want to write about.
It took a while to get to this 1,000th blog, but I enjoyed every minute of it (well, except maybe when I reviewed CrazyBus and Super Man 64. Those were hard times). Here’s to many, many more!
In a year that at once seems to simultaneously be zooming by and trudging through its own eternity, we are reaching the endgame of 2020. Here’s hoping 2021 will be merciful.
Thank the maker such a dreadful year is almost over, though I have to admit, not everything in 2020 has been bad. Just mostly bad. Very, very mostly.
Still, let’s try to look at the positives: Jim Carrey’s portrayal of Dr. Robotnik was fun. Onward was another jewel in Pixar’s crown. Crash Bandicoot 4 was a great return to form for its series. The new season of the Mandalorian is off to a good start. And Animal Crossing: New Horizons exists.
See, not all has been bad in 2020.
Anyways, my apologies that October was such a slow month here at the Dojo. In fact, in terms of the number of posts I made, October 2020 had the fewest posts (four) for a single month in this site’s nearly six-year history. Though in all fairness, three of those four were decently lengthy, relatively speaking. Apologies also go to me once again failing to write a proper Halloween post this year (though I did do something for the occasion by finally writing my review of Luigi’s Mansion 3. And it only took a year to the day of its release!). I’ve been meaning to make revised versions of my past Halloween-based top five lists (particularly “Top 5 Video Game Skeletons” because why the hell did I include Scorpion on there when I hate Mortal Kombat?). Hopefully next October I (and everyone else) will be feeling more Halloween-y.
2020 has been hard on everyone, and I’m no exception. October had me feeling pretty low, so I wasn’t feeling particularly creative and needed something of a break. But I’m feeling somewhat better now and I have more than a few things in store in the coming months.
It felt great to finally knock that Luigi’s Mansion 3 review off of my to do list, so I’ll hopefully get around to my other oft-delayed reviews soon, such as Animal Crossing: New Horizons, Paper Mario: The Origami King *Groan* and Return of the Jedi. Additionally, with the end of the year approaching, I should be doing my “Best of 2020” awards in the not-too-distant future. Talking of which, yes, I actually do plan on writing something of a Favorite Films of 2019 list sometime soon (because what better time to name your favorite things of a certain year than November of the following year?). Because it’s taking me so long to get around to it, and due to my general indecisiveness on the subject, I may just make a shortlist of favorites as opposed to a top 10 countdown or something.
But that’s not all, folks!
Something I’ve wanted to do since the tail-end of 2019 was to make some “Best of the Decade (2010s)” lists. And yeah, I get it, I’ll be at least a year late in writing such things after everyone else. But I guess I’ll just emphasize “Best of the 2010s” in their titles as opposed to “Best of the Decade.”I don’t know how many such lists I’ll make, but I at least want to make one for my favorite films, video games, and video game soundtracks of the 2010s. Maybe more, but it’s already taken this long so we’ll have to wait and see.
I should also be reaching two big milestones with this site soon, as I’m approaching my 400th video game review and, well before that, my 1000th total blog on this site! Well, it will probably be more like my 1,005th or 1,006th, but I removed a small handful of the posts from this site’s early days (they were crap), so they don’t count. You could call it quality control, though I don’t know if anything I write would suggest any semblance of quality. So yeah, my 1,000th blog will be happening in not too long. Who knows, depending on how productive November and December are for this site, I may combine my 1,000th post with this year’s Christmas Special (that’s not a promise though).
Coinciding with said 1,000th blog, I plan to make some changes to the site as well. What those changes entail entirely, I don’t know yet. I don’t think I’ll be revising my rating system again or anything, but I may revise some of my past reviews. Going to try to stop with the flip-flopping, go over everything and make them more definitive. I mean, WordPress itself has recently changed (you can tell I still haven’t gotten the hang of things with the size and placements of pictures and gifs in my recent posts), so why don’t I? Not that WordPress’s changes have influenced this decision, that’s all on the “1,000 blogs seems like a good place for a fresh start” thing.
Anyway, if you, for whatever reason, get some kind of jolly from my writing, I hope you look forward to that stuff. And I promise I didn’t just write this post due to my lack of content in October and as a thinly-veiled means to get closer to the aforementioned 1,000th post with some filler.
Well, it’s September already, in a year that seems to be flying by and taking an eternity at the same time. Hey, 2020, am I right?
August was pretty productive here at le Dojo, at least it was in terms of movie reviews. I wrote nine reviews for Disney movies in the month of August. On the downside, I didn’t write anything else, but on the plus side, that’s the most movie reviews I’ve written in a single month in quite some time. And I now only have eight Disney movies left to review before I can say I’ve reviewed every film from Walt Disney Animation Studios! Seven of those films are readily available on Disney+, so I should be getting to them soon. Unfortunately, Make Mine Music is for some reason the only film from WDAS not yet on Disney+…or any other streaming service, as far as I can tell. So who knows when I’ll get the opportunity to review that one.
Yes, I know I still haven’t reviewed the straight-to-video Disney sequels (something I’ve been dreading for a while) or some movies by Disney’s subsidiaries like DisneyToon Studio’s A Goofy Movie or Ducktales: The Movie. I’ll get to them in time, but the main Disney goals for the Dojo are all the official WDAS films…and the Pixar ones. I still haven’t done all of those yet.
Anyway, with the dawn of a new month comes a fresh new start for the Dojo. While I hope to continue knocking Disney films off my “to review list” this month, I also hope to catch up on some video game reviews (some new, some long-procrastinated). And hopefully I’ll finally get around to reviewing Return of the Jedi (seriously, I have no excuse why that hasn’t happened yet). Finishing the Star Wars saga is another one of my near-future goals for this site.
That’s not to mention that I still have my “Favorite movies of 2019” still hanging overhead. Boy am I timely! Since it’s taken me so long to get around to it, I may do something a little different for that this time around. And no, I haven’t forgotten about my Best of the Decade (2010s) stuff. I still plan on doing them things once I catch up on some other stuff.
All this as I approach my 1000th blog for this site. I’ll have to think of something special to do for that…
I know, it’s probably hard to celebrate dang near anything this year with everything going on in the world. But finding reason to celebrate even in dark times helps stave off depression, and that’s a good thing!
To my fellow Americans, have a happy Independence Day! And to anyone not from the US of A, you have a happy day, too!
Apologies once more that updates to this site have slowed a bit. I’m really hoping to pick up the pace in the not-too-distant future. And I actually have a list of movie and video game reviews lined up that I hope to finish soon, that I’ve been procrastinating for way too long. Among these will be my review of Return of the Jedi, which will finish up my reviews of the original Star Wars trilogy. Also some reviews for some leftover 2019 games, as well as (finally) some for 2020 games. Hey, it’s been a rough year.
But enough about me, you all enjoy your fireworks and barbecues and all that. Happy 4th of July, everybody! Stay safe, and for goodness sake, wear a damn mask!
Per tradition, here’s that classic image of Captain America punching Hitler.
Like everyone else in 2020, I’ve been spending a lot of time at home this year. And while I’m trying to use this time to be creatively productive, it should go without saying that much of my time indoors has gone to video games.
Going into 2020, I was already planning on cutting back on my new gaming purchases. As I’ve stated in the past ad nauseam, gaming is both expensive and time consuming these days. So while I would like to play through and review every big game released, that’s simply unrealistic…unless you’re Richie Rich (specifically the Macaulay Culkin version).
Well, it turns out that current global situations would emphatically reinforce my limited buying in 2020. So far, I have purchased four fully priced retail games this year (including one that’s a pre-order and not out yet). Heading into the year I was only planning on about four or five full-priced purchases, so it looks like I’m almost there (though I will of course make exceptions if a really notable game catches my attention). So far in 2020, I’ve purchased…
Animal Crossing: New Horizons
Final Fantasy VII Remake
and Paper Mario: The Origami King (pre-ordered)
I know, I seemed pretty critical of The Origami King in my initial impressions, and while I stand by the claims I made, I still think the game is worth my checking out. More importantly, I want the game to be good. It seems like so much of the gaming community is so ready to write anything and everything off, and actively wants things to be bad so they can complain more whilst talking obnoxiously loudly in their YouTube videos (“Like, share and subscribe!”). But that seems like a pretty miserable way to be. As much as I’m skeptical of Origami King, I don’t want it to be bad. Even if fans’ requests for a proper Mario RPG continue to fall on deaf ears, there’s still a chance Origami King could be a good game in its own right, and I hope it is (I still hope we get a proper Mario RPG again one day though).
Plus – as is probably abundantly clear if you’ve read anything of mine in the past – the Mario RPGs are quite synonymous with my gaming life. So even if they may continue to deviate away from the things that made me love them in the first place, it’s one of those things where I have some weird sense of obligation to continue diving into them.
Dreams and Animal Crossing: New Horizons are easily where most of my gaming time this year has gone. And yes, I am overdue in reviewing them, I’m sorry. Hopefully soon.
Perhaps my purchase with a big question mark attached is Final Fantasy VII Remake. I’m not the biggest Final Fantasy fan, and as I’ve said before, I think the PSOne RPGs in many ways undid a lot of the progress the late SNES RPGs made for the genre. But I admit curiosity got the best of me with this particular remake, seeing as it seems to be a remake that completely overhauls the original. I figured what the heck? And considering my “on the fence” purchase this year was between either FFVIIR and The Last of Us: Part 2, I think I went with the better option.
I admit, I haven’t gotten around to playing FFVIIR yet (Animal Crossing is very addicting), but I will hopefully get to it soon and review it once I’m able. I will get around to reviewing all four of my current purchases at some point in the (hopefully) near future.
In addition, I’ve also made some cheaper purchases this year, two of which I already reviewed (Frog Detective 2 and SuperMash), as well as the Switch bundle of Planescape Torment/Icewind Dale. I’ve been meaning to play/review Planescape for a while, and when I randomly found a Switch version bundled with another game at a reasonable price, that seemed like the ideal way for me to get it.
Otherwise, my gaming time this year has gone to revisiting Super Mario Maker 2 (given the massive recent update), and I started the year revisiting classics Super Mario World and Dark Souls, the latter of which bleed into me playing and reviewing Demon’s Souls and Dark Souls 2.
Yeah, I feel kind of bad I haven’t reviewed any of the actual 2020 releases I’ve purchased yet, hopefully soon (Animal Crossing and Dreams for sure). And I still have 2019 releases I either need to catch up on (such as Sekiro and Astral Chain, two critical darlings that admittedly failed to grab me when I played them), and a couple of games I really have no excuse why I haven’t reviewed them yet (Luigi’s Mansion 3…I’ll get to it).
Naturally, with the world in the state it’s currently in, developers and publishers have been pretty quiet with further 2020 releases, with E3 getting cancelled, and then later getting even more cancelled (no online presentations even). As such, there’s nothing currently on the horizon after Paper Mario: The Origami King that really catches my eye. That may be for the best, since it A) gives me more time to brush up on my own creative endeavors, and B) gives me ample time to play and review the games I have and need to catch up on.
Will there be any other games released in 2020 that I will end up purchasing? Of course that’s always a possibility. Especially if those rumors of a 3D Mario HD remaster compilation are true, I’d buy that in a heartbeat. But so far, it looks like I’m doing pretty well in regards to staying true to my limited gaming purchases this year… even if that may be more due to the world being on pause than my own wisdom in purchases (I’ll take what I can get).
Here’s hoping 2020 will at least deliver another game or two that tickles my fancy. And here’s hoping going forward that I use this quarantine time to actually get to reviewing these games instead of writing posts like this…
Seeing as I’ve been twice nominated for this now (by Red Metal of Extra Life Reviews and Matt from NintendoBound), it’s been a while since I’ve done one of these blog award things, and the fact that I was slow to update my site in April, I figured I’d write my response to this Mystery Blogger Award now. So thanks to those who nominated me! Now let’s just get on with it and answer those questions.
1 -What is the most unusual work you have experienced?
Well, that’s an incredibly broad question, when one considers the use of the word “work” could mean a work in any medium. I don’t think I can compare certain things with others, so I don’t know if I can name one definitive work that ‘out-unusuals’ them all. There are a few I could choose.
BUT, for the sake of answering these questions, I will give my answer in the form of Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me and – subsequently – Twin Peaks: The Return.
Now, I’m probably about 90% sure that Twin Peaks is my favorite television series of all time (though there are a few other contenders). It is a delightfully weird show.
However, as weird as the show’s initial (and tragically short) two season, thirty episode run was, the subsequent materials that came after are much weirder.
The prequel film (yeah, a lot of people forget Twin Peaks had a movie), Fire Walk with Me, is a wild, trippy venture, one that triples down on the show’s darker elements, which (sadly) comes at the expense of the series’ more lighthearted and humorous bits (the series is widely known for changing tone and even genre on the fly). The film, which I won’t delve into detail because it would spoil both it and the series, not only magnifies the show’s strangeness, but it’s also the kind of follow-up where you really would have to have seen every episode of the original series to even begin to understand things.
As such, the film – unlike the beloved series – was alienating when it was released in the mid-90s (it only found any real success in Japan). It has garnered more praise over the years, and I myself like the movie well enough. But it is downright bizarre, and if someone saw it without having an intimate knowledge of the series, I can imagine Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me might come across like some kind of fever dream. Hell, it might come across as such even if you’re a fan of the series.
That leads me to 2017’s Twin Peaks: The Return (or simply the third season of Twin Peaks). Appropriately picking up twenty-five years after the original series ended (something which the final episode of the show’s original run eerily predicted), The Return is an eighteen episode madhouse where both everything and nothing at all happens. While the original series slowly chipped away to reveal supernatural elements, The Return dives headfirst into fantasy, science fiction and horror right out of the gate.
That’s not a bad thing, of course. But because this is a David Lynch creation, The Return utilizes these genres to their strangest, and leaves many details largely unexplained. Twin Peaks: The Return received universal praise from critics, but had a more polarizing reception from fans.
While I ultimately enjoyed The Return, I think my feelings toward it lie somewhere in between the two sides of the argument. I do appreciate the many risks it takes, and it does avoid the nostalgia problem of today by denying its narrative of repeating beloved moments for the sake of fan service, but there are aspects to it that are downright frustrating. Effectively turning the main character, Dale Cooper, into a magic savant may lead to many entertaining moments, the idea does feel a bit dragged out after a while. But perhaps the most frustratingly bizarre aspect of The Return is how it utilizes the characters of the Horne family: Ben, his brother Jerry, and Ben’s daughter Audrey.
Despite being arguably the most memorable characters from the original series, The Return seems largely disinterested in doing anything with the Hornes: Ben is stuck behind a desk the entire season, Jerry spends several episodes panicked about something terrible he may or may not have seen while high, and Audrey – who doesn’t even show up until over halfway through The Return – spends what little screen time she has arguing with her bizarre husband, before dancing in one of the seasons’ many musical moments, and ultimately “waking up(???)” in a mysterious white room, which goes unexplained.
Again, this is an eighteen episode season of hour-long episodes, and that’s what David Lynch came up with for the series’ best characters. What’s worse, is the story they come up with for what Audrey’s life was like between the original run and The Return basically puts her through hell, and then to not give her story any semblance of closure feels unnecessarily cruel.
But I guess I’m starting to sound like I’m reviewing the season. There’ll be a day for that. But I’m pretty sure, even from my vague descriptions, you can tell that both Fire Walk with Me and The Return take what was already a weird and unusual series, and took it into absolutely insane levels of absurdity.
So yeah. That’s my answer for now.
2- What is the best work you have experienced that no one seems to know about?
Well, again, I find this to be a hard question to answer. Maybe back in the early 2000s, I could have listed several video games I played that I only later found out were these obscure gems. But in this day and age of the all-encompassing internet, I’m sure plenty of people know about many of these obscure works I once experienced, even if I’m sure only a handful of people who have heard of them have ever experienced them firsthand. I hate to say it, but I may have to properly answer this at a later time, as I’m having trouble of thinking of something I have enjoyed that “no one seems to know about.” Or maybe it’s so obscure that I forgot I know of it?
Sorry. I’ll answer this as soon as I can.
3- If you could go back in time and go to the premiere of one classic film, which one would you choose?
Well, the only movie premiere I’ve ever been to was Rango, so there’s no shortage of options to choose from. I’m tempted to go with the easy answers and just pick one of my favorite films released in my lifetime, such as Spirited Away or Disney’s Frozen.
But for the sake of not creating a time paradox in my own movie life, let’s go with something from before I was born. The obvious choice then would be Star Wars (or “A New Hope”) in 1977, followed by Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
But I’m going to go into the not-too-distant past from before my time, to 1988, the year before I was born, and pick Who Framed Roger Rabbit. That movie is a visual miracle even by today’s standards, and given the unanimous praise it received in its day, the way it revolutionized visual effects and revitalized the animation industry, that would be a wild ride to witness firsthand.
4- If you decided to write fiction, which genre would you choose?
Finally! An easy question to answer!
As I’ve stated in the past, I do have a particularly active imagination, and would love to create my own video games some day. As such, it should come as no surprise that my genre of choice would be fantasy. Or I guess I could say it is fantasy, seeing as I’ve always enjoyed creating worlds, characters and stories since I was a wee tyke up to the current day. So it’s more or less a question of how to “officially” make and release such things, since I’ve technically been doing it my whole life.
Why fantasy? Easy, because – much like animation – it’s a gateway into any and every genre. It knows no limits. It can be as real or as fantastic as you want it to be. It doesn’t have to be swords and sorcery, and can really be any kind of story.
With all due respect to science-fiction, fantasy is its superior, as even sci-fi has its limitations. Science fiction might have to resort to explaining its elements, and sometimes those explanations can make things goofier. Fantasy, existing purely in the imagination, doesn’t need to explain itself to anyone. And that’s badass.
5-What is the most disappointingly predictable plot twist you have experienced?
Apologies to Matt From NintendoBound, but honest to goodness, my answer is identical to his. It’s Martin Scorsese’s Shutter Island. The movie is directed and acted well enough, but I remember from the moment the plot officially kicked in, I figured out exactly where it was ending up. I kind of hate to say that, for fear it might make me sound like one of those snarky CinemaSins/Honest Trailers clowns who basically worship themselves for finding flaws in movies. But I’m not trying to find fault in a movie with big names like Scorsese and DiCaprio attached, it was just such an easy twist to figure out.
Runner-up goes to recent history with Knives Out, which spent so much time trying to throw viewers off the scent of one particular character, that I couldn’t help but think “when’s the movie going to reveal that character as the culprit?”
6- What do you consider to be the strangest title for a work?
I’m going to avoid the easy answer by exempting every B-horror movie from the list of possible answers.
With that out of the way, I guess I’d select the animated short film The Mysterious Geographic Explorations of Jasper Morello. It was a pretty good short, from what I remember of it. But that title…
7- Where in a theater do you prefer to sit
Normally, as close to the center as possible. Middle seat of the middle-ist row. However, I may surprise some people by saying this, but when it comes to animated films, I honestly don’t mind sitting in the front row one bit. It really absorbs you in the visuals of animation. To paraphrase what the late Roger Ebert said for both Finding Nemo and Ponyo, “this is one of those rare films where I want to sit in the very front row, and drown in it.”
8- Do you have any graphic novel/manga series you’re currently following?
Sadly no. My time outside of life’s impositions is usually dedicated to working on my passions of drawing, writing and (as mentioned above) creating my own (for lack of a better word) “things.” And trying to learn game development, of course. Naturally, my creative passions include video games and movies, so those are what I tend to gravitate towards with my free time. While I like graphic novels and manga, I just simply don’t have the same passion for them that I do movies and video games. I loved the comic book series “Bone” by Jeff Smith growing up, and the entire series has been available as a single graphic novel for quite some time now, so I’ll probably pick that up eventually. And I wouldn’t mind a new graphic novel or manga in theory. But whenever I’m not dealing with life, trying to create “things,” or writing on this site, I’m watching movies or playing video games. So it’s difficult for me to make the time for comics, sadly.
9- When it comes to reviewing films, which do you feel are more effective – traditional, written reviews or video essays?
Well, for me personally, I think it obviously has to be written reviews. I have been wanting for years now to do some form of videos centering on video games or movies, but my Social Phobia and general awkwardness continues to push that back. Written reviews are more welcoming to people like me.
On the whole though, I don’t think either method is necessarily more effective than the other, and just depends on the individual.
One thing is for sure though, the “YouTube method” of video reviews – lambasting pretty much everything whilst promoting oneself – has to go. It’s obnoxious, and is only damaging the creative industries. I remember reading – if I remember correctly – that the Russo Brothers wanted to make Captain America and the Winter Soldier “Honest Trailers proof.” If creators are seriously trying to cater to the judgement of self-promoting internet types, then creativity is truly dead.
Film criticism should try to instill and reflect creativity, similar to movies themselves, but obviously in a different way. YouTubers and their ilk just seem to try to find faults in the littlest details to put down real creators and stroke their own egos. It’s toxic.
So while I don’t think either the written word or video essays are more ideal than the other, I guess the former has provided a bit more respectable examples in this day and age of “everything sucks so like, share and subscribe to me!”
10- What aspect of old school game design do you wish would make a comeback?
As obvious as this may sound, modern games could learn the valuable lesson of putting gameplay above all else from their ancestors.
It’s actually kind of sad how many games emphasize their stories and cinematics over the actual game. It’s not just the games themselves, but gamers have bought into it hook, line and sinker. It’s irritating hearing people say things like “the things I look for in a game are good story and characters.” Tetris has no story, and is still a masterpiece decades later. Heavy Rain and Beyond: Two Souls emphasized story, and were always crap.
Now, that’s not to say that I have an issue with video games with stories, but the gaming community seems to blindly follow the idea that “having a story = a good story.” Sorry, but The Last of Us is cliche-riddled and self-important, and Kingdom Hearts is incoherent gobbledygook.
Nintendo’s naysayers insist there’s some kind of “Nintendo bias” as to why the Big N tends to produce many critically acclaimed titles. But there’s no such conspiracy at play, and in fact Nintendo getting top marks are probably the only consistently trustworthy examples of video game critics dishing out rave reviews because Nintendo’s philosophy has always been to put gameplay at the heart and center of things. Not every game Nintendo makes is great, but it really shouldn’t be such a surprise that Nintendo produces so many critical darlings in the video game world considering they put the actual game first. The only conspiracy here is provided by those suggesting Nintendo is at the center of some conspiracy (all while review-bombing Nintendo games on Metacritic, of course).
Again, you hear Nintendo’s critics accuse Nintendo of being in the past, but they’re only in the past in their philosophy of games being about gameplay. And in actuality, that’s a notion from the past that’s forward-thinking. Other areas of the gaming world, in a desperate attempt to be “legitimized” decided to make video games more like movies. And in doing so, video games devolved in a number of ways.
It’s not just storylines, though (and again, those can work, if designers remember they’re making games with stories instead of stories with a game attached). But it seems developers are always obsessed with trying to show off their production budget, whether through unnecessary detail or blatant padding to add to a game’s total runtime (two things Red Dead Redemption 2 – a game I mostly loved – is very guilty of. I can’t imagine how many hours I could have saved if I didn’t have to watch Arthur Morgan meticulously pick up every last object on the ground and Rockstar made it more “video game-y” and let the player just walk over items). Hell, it’s because of the fact that developers no longer see games as being games why we now have vile concepts like “games as a service.” Hope you like micro transactions!
So yeah, if video games could remember what old school games knew (and what Nintendo and select others still know) – that video games are games first – they’d be much better off.
11- What aspect of old school game design are you glad went away?
Despite my above statements, old video games weren’t perfect. Far from it, in fact. While Mario, Mega Man and Tetris are timeless, I might argue that the NES is one of Nintendo’s weakest consoles in retrospect, since it housed many games that showcase the archaic elements of gaming’s early days.
Those who grew up in the 1980s and 90s need only watch a few episodes of The Angry Video Game Nerd to remember “oh yeah, the NES had a lot of crap.” Notably, the publisher LJN was an infamous example of early gaming not caring about the quality of their products.
Gaming’s old school years saw countless titles that were rushed out the gate, featuring things like mechanics that don’t work as they should and insanely cryptic elements that no one would logically figure out, and were often flat-out unfinished.
Even some of yesteryear’s classics, like the original Legend of Zelda and Metroid titles, haven’t aged well due to their overly cryptic nature (though they were infinitely better than many other games of their time). It’s really no surprise why Super Mario was the series at the time. Its ideas were so forward thinking for the medium, that most Mario games are still fun even by today’s standards.
Other games weren’t so wise, however. And while the 16-bit generation marked a vast improvement – to the point that a number of its titles still rank among history’s best games – even it wasn’t immune to “old video game jank.” Even the SNES housed the dreadful Lester the Unlikely and the unplayable Batman Forever.
Now, modern gaming isn’t without its untested messes (one of the most infamously unfinished games of all time, Ride to Hell: Retribution, was somehow released on the PS3 and Xbox 360). But there is a bit of a precedent now. And if developers and publishers hacked up the same kind of hairballs that LJN and their ilk did back in the day, they’d vanish without a trace after their first attempt. No one would be allowed to get away with that kind of track record in this day and age.
Bad games will always exist, but they’re a rarer beast now. With video game critiquing becoming more prominent, as well as the medium becoming mainstream and leaving its infancy some time ago, publishers and developers can no longer hide from the discerning eye. Quality control is a thing now, and wasn’t back in day.
……..Also, turbo controllers. Let those things rot in Hell.
Thank you for reading my responses. Hopefully you at least kind of enjoyed at least something I said. Thanks again to Red Metal from Extra Life Reviews and Matt from NintendoBound for the nominations.
I have to apologize, but I’m going to have to break tradition this time around, because I have no one to nominate, and thus, have no questions to ask at this time. Much like comic books and manga, I don’t really spend a whole lot of time reading other blogs (the only two I still read with regularity are the two that nominated me). I used to read a lot more when I first launched this site, but both due to an increasingly busy schedule, and the sad fact that my blog has outlived a number of those I used to read, I’m not quite as well-versed in blogs as I once was. Hopefully I can find/rediscover some good ones in the near future (especially seeing as we’re all trapped in our houses at the moment). But I really don’t have anyone to nominate at this time.
Thanks for reading! See you soon with my review of The Empire Strikes Back… hopefully…
It is now March of 2020…already, and given that I only wrote six total posts in February, I figured I’d give a brief update of what I hope to do for this site in March.
Wait a minute… Oh no… does this mean… THE RETURN OF THE FILLER POSTS?!
Aw well, it’s still probably better written than The Rise of Skywalker.
Seriously though, this is a one time return of filler, I swear. But talking of The Rise of Skywalker, one of my plans for the near future is to finish my reviews of the Star Wars movies. I was originally trying to review them all around the release of Rise of Skywalker going in episodic order, but only got up to the original film (Episode IV). It’s as if I saw something so contrived and messy that it disheartened me from continuing for a time…
So yes, that leaves Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, and the entire sequel trilogy left to review. So hopefully I’ll get back to those soon.
Also, as you may have guessed from the title of this post, I plan to review Pixar’s Onward once I see it. And not too long after that, once the movie soaks in my mind a little, I hope to (finally) do a revised version of my ranking of every single Pixar film. Now we’ll know just how highly Cars 2 and The Good Dinosaur will rank!
Also also, I hope to do my film and video game awards for 2019 in March. Yeah, it’s kind of late, but I’m just one man, cut me some slack. After I’m done with the 2019 awards, I hope to do my lists of best games and films of the decade (2010 – 2019). And hopefully not long after, I can do my similar lists for the 2000s, 1990s and 1980s. Then maybe that will finally give me the incentive to (seriously, finally and for reals) make my all-time favorites lists.
And yes, as promised before, I will start reviewing TV/streaming shows soon. And also very yes, I will update you beautiful people on my game development learnings when I have something to update on.
So there you go. What I plan to write in March and the near future. Sorry again for the filler.
Alright, one more dangling thread from 2019 to un-dangle. Y’know, besides those 2019 games I still need to review. Technically, I somewhat did this in my 2019 Christmas post, but for the sake of closure, let’s give it its own post.
After every three month period in 2019, I briefly went over the different reviews I wrote in the year up to that point. Now that 2019 is a memory (a mostly pleasant one, despite all the overrated movies that are now becoming even more overrated with their Oscar nominations). So before we get any further into 2020 and this makes no sense whatsoever, let’s knock this out of the way while it still makes a tiny shred of sense.
I think this was the first year where I ended up writing more movie reviews than video game ones. But because I haven’t actually taken the time to fact-check that, don’t take my word for it.
Anyway, here’s what my reviews were and when they were written, along with the scores they currently hold (you may find I’ve retroactively altered a couple of them, due to my changing feelings upon giving it more thought). This time I included the links to the reviews…just like I did in the Christmas post which is making this feel even more superfluous. Don’t worry, I’ll have new reviews soon.
* indicates a title whose score was lowered since my last such update. Because seriously, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood is a deathly bore.
And there you have it, all of my movie and game reviews of 2019. But there’s still some unfinished business to take care of leftover from last year. Like these…
2019 movies I saw, but probably won’t get around to reviewing for a while (with approximate scores).
Last Christmas – 5/10
Judy – 6/10
2019 movies I’ve seen and hope to review in the near future (saving the scores for the reviews)
It: Chapter 2
Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
2019 movies I might still see, maybe review.
Cats (yes, it looks abysmal. Every now and again I get the sick curiosity to see a notorious movie on the big screen).
2019 video games I should have reviewed already and hopefully will soon.
Crash Team Racing: Nitro-Fueled
Luigi’s Mansion 3
2019 video games I need to play more of to review
Mario & Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story + Bowser Jr’s Journey
Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice
Ni no Kuni Remastered
And well, those are the last lingering threads of 2019 I hope to tackle. Those and my awards, of course. There are a few 2020 movies on the horizon, and a couple of upcoming video games, that I’ll hopefully get around to as well. Also more older games and movies and such. But we’ll get to those when we get to them.
Anyway, thanks for reading! Thanks for your support throughout 2019! And all of your support before then, and your continuing support now.
Greetings and salutations, weary traveler! A new decade is upon us, for it is now 2020. If I were a Dark Souls NPC, this is the part where I’d start laughing maniacally.
I know what you’re thinking, “shouldn’t I have posted this on January 1st?” Ideally, yes. But honestly, after my Frozen II review had been delayed for way too long, I knew that had to be my first writing of the decade. It just had to be. As I’ve mentioned numerous times in the past, Frozen is both one of my favorite films, and one of particular importance to me. Thus, because it took me so long to finish my review of its sequel, it made sense as the one and only option as my first writing of the 2020s.
If you’re curious what else I have planned for the near future, I… what’s that? You’re not curious…
Well, I’ll tell you anyway.
I hope to finish my reviews of the Star Wars films, continuing in episodic order. I most recently reviewed the original Star Wars feature, Episode IV – A New Hope, which means next up is the best Star Wars feature, The Empire Strikes Back. Then of course I’ll cap off the original trilogy with Return of the Jedi, followed by 2015’s delightful return to form, The Force Awakens. It’s just a shame they stopped making Star Wars films after that. But at least they went out on a high note, I suppose…
… Okay, okay. I’ll review The Last Jedi and The Rise of Skywalker as well. *Sigh*
Along with those, I also plan on reviewing Knives Out, another Rian Johnson film that, like The Last Jedi, seems to believe that swerves and twists for the sake of swerves and twists equate to originality and creativity. Apparently Mr. Johnson isn’t aware that M. Night Shyamalan has already proven on numerous occasions that isn’t the case. Oh please, don’t make me re-watch Glass!
Yeah, apparently I got a lot of Friends gifs…
Anyway, I also have a list of games to review, so hopefully I’ll start knocking those off said list soon enough. Mostly leftover 2019 games, but some older ones as well.
In fact, I have a schedule that I hope to stick to for 2020 in regards to the number of movie reviews, game reviews and top 10 lists per month. Fingers crossed I follow through!
As you may have guessed, with the new year comes award season. Everyone and their dog seems to do it, and I am no exception. I plan on doing my best of 2019 lists in not too long (I hope). But also seeing as we’re in a bright, shiny new decade, I also hope to do some ‘Best of the Decade’ awards reflecting on the movies and video games of the 2010s. And maybe that will lead me to make retroactive decade lists for the 2000s and 1990s. Maybe even the 1980s as well, seeing as I was born during that decade. Yeah, I was born in September of ’89, so we’re grasping at straws here, but any excuse to revisit 80s movies is a good one, I say. Funny thing is the 80s really stick out to me with movies, while the 90s really stick out in regards to video games. I don’t know why I pointed that out, but I thought it was interesting.
Oh yeah, and one of my New Year’s resolutions is to finally make reviewing TV shows a thing. So again, fingers crossed.
I’m hoping to review the three currently-existing seasons of Stranger Things, as well as The Mandalorian, Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance, and maybe some others. Also, now that I have Disney+, maybe I’ll start reviewing The Simpsons. But just the classic seasons. I don’t know if I could stand to watch the more contemporary seasons. I would rather watch Glass again than watch new Simpsons.
Well… actually I’m not sure about that. That’s a lose-lose scenario if ever there were one. But yeah, classic Simpsons is still on the cards.
At any rate, this “New Decade Post” is coming dangerously close to becoming one of my filler posts that haunted 2019, so let’s wrap this up before that happens.
Anywho, I hope you lovely people are all having a great, productive new year so far. May the new decade be one of great new beginnings and some cool returning stuff, I guess. Hopefully the next time I’m writing a blog like this, it’s updating my progress on learning about makin’ the vidya James.