I made my second trip to the Academy Museum of Motion Pictures on May 22nd, so it’s been a week ago now, but I still wanted to write about it. So sue me.
Unlike my first trip to the Academy Museum, where I tried to see as much as possible, this time I simply spent the day visiting the Hayao Miyazaki exhibit, since that’s sadly going to be leaving the museum in June. Goodness gracious, what a magical exhibit! Filled with so much artwork, sketches, character designs, even sculpted recreations of locations from Miyazaki’s films (the model of the house from My Neighbor Totoro even hides some Soot Sprites to find). They even have a little mock patch of grass that you can lay on to look up at some clouds (as characters in Miyazaki films often do)!
I’m really going to miss this exhibit when it goes. I mean I’m REALLY going to miss it. Like, the idea of going to the Academy Museum and that exhibit no longer being there makes me genuinely sad. Sure, there will still be other interesting exhibits. But sadly, the ‘magic’ will no longer be there.
I’ve often said Hayao Miyazaki is my favorite filmmaker, and that his films are my favorites. But really, that doesn’t even begin to do justice to what his films have meant to me. Now, I say this with all due respect to the many great filmmakers throughout history, but for me, none of them can even begin to compare to Miyazaki. I have a friend who claims that the original Star Wars (that is to say Episode IV – A New Hope) transcends all of their favorite films and is in a category all its own as a perfect film. And I guess for me, that’s what Miyazaki’s films are like (it’s also why I’m not satisfied with any of the reviews I’ve written for them and have thought about rewriting them in a way that differs from all my other reviews). Sure, not all of Miyazaki’s films are equals (though Howl’s Moving Castle is the only one that’s notably ‘weaker’ than the others), but his style, tone, voice and artistry are simply beyond anything else in movies. They really are magical.
In short, I’m really going to miss the Miyazaki exhibit, and so my entire second trip was spent revisiting it. I even went back into the exhibit around closing and had it practically to myself for a while. That was pretty darn cool.
Once again, they didn’t allow pictures within the exhibit itself (and boy, was it difficult to resist the urge to photograph everything). But I got some pictures of the outside of the exhibit again. This time with me in them!
What a magical experience it was to see this Hayao Miyazaki exhibit. Finally, a place here in the US for Studio Ghibli fans to appreciate (and maybe geek out) about the world’s greatest animation studio. From entering a woodland tunnel greeted by “The Path of the Wind” from My Neighbor Totoro, to seeing the Kodama from Princess Mononoke appear on the walls, to finally exiting via the tunnel from Spirited Away (complete with Stone Spirit guardian), I absorbed every last drop of that exhibit. The fact that I actually got to see original artwork and concept sketches from Miyazaki’s films firsthand… that’s something that will stick with me forever.
It’s going to be really sad to see the Miyazaki exhibit leave (though I don’t know why the museum can’t at least keep the merchandise in the gift shop), though I can’t blame Studio Ghibli if they want their stuff back in their native Japan. But what a delight it’s been to be able to experience it.
Also, a big shout out to the little girl waiting in line for the exhibit who freaked out with enthusiasm at the sight of Totoro and Ponyo. What a cool kid! Warms my heart to know that kids these days have that kind of adoration for Miyazaki’s films.
Thanks for the Miyazaki memories, Academy Museum! It was a magical experience.
I guess I have another “My Month in Movies” left in the tank. Despite my saying these things aren’t going to be monthly, I’ve ended up doing them almost every month since I started doing them last October (for movies I watched in September). The only exception was February. Seeing as Uncharted was the only movie I watched during that whole month, I guess it makes sense I skipped it.
Still, I don’t expect to continue to make these kinds of posts regularly (I say that now). I still have movies and games from last year I’ve been meaning to review but still haven’t. I should really get to those soon. But, this month had a bit of a theme going, so I figured I’d make another My Month in Movies for the occasion.
That theme was video game movies! Although I watched a few films outside of the category, I watched six video game movies in April, and I couldn’t resist writing about them.
In total, I watched nine movies in April of 2022. Again, movies marked with an asterisk are ones I watched for the very first time.
Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)
Sonic the Hedgehog 2*
The Last Blockbuster
Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore*
The Bad Guys*
Mortal Kombat (1995)
Super Mario Bros. (1993)
So again, you could say video game movies were the name of the… game! Ho ho! It’s just unfortunate that I didn’t get around to watching Mortal Kombat Annihilation or the 2021 Mortal Kombat reboot as I originally planned. Maybe I’ll do another video game movie-themed post in the near future as an excuse to watch them.
I know, I know, video game movies don’t exactly have the best reputation. But as I’ve stated in the past, the earlier entries in the sub-genre are like guilty pleasures. They tended to be dumb and goofy, but they were so bad they were entertaining. It was probably in the 2000s when video game movies became unspeakably bad. But, as I mentioned in my reviews for the Sonic movies and as I’ll soon mention here, video game movies have now found a way to be genuinely good.
My first movie this month was a re-watch of 2020’s Sonic the Hedgehog, AKA the last big movie before the pandemic (seriously). I love this movie. It has its problems, but I kind of don’t really care. It’s a fun movie that pays respect to the video game series (something not a lot of video game movies have done), and it gives Jim Carrey an excuse to be the most manic he’s been since the 90s. And as Dr. Robotnik, one of my all-time favorite video game characters, no less!
Sure, the structure can be a little flimsy at times, and the movie really jumps through hoops to try to explain why Sonic needs help from his human friend Tom Wachowski (James Marsden). But again, if I’m watching a movie based on Sonic the Hedgehog and starring Jim Carrey as Dr. Robotnik, I mostly care that the movie is fun. And 2020’s Sonic the Hedgehog is just that, fun.
And let’s all be grateful that the filmmakers and studio decided to redesign Sonic after that horrifying first trailer. Otherwise the film wouldn’t have worked (can’t really make a kids’ movie based on a classic video game character if that character gave kids nightmares), and we probably wouldn’t have gotten its superior sequel without the change.
Also, something to note: in my original review for Sonic the Hedgehog, I mentioned the only piece of music from the games that made it into the film’s score were a few renditions of the iconic Green Hill Zone theme. But that’s inaccurate. There’s one other musical number lifted from the games, as the film begins with the opening theme from Sonic Mania! That’s a really nice touch!
My next movie was logically Sonic the Hedgehog 2. Boy, this film did not disappoint! It’s a bigger, better sequel, pays even more loving homage to the games, features Tails and Knuckles, and Jim Carrey looks like Robotnik this time around (minus the round belly. Though word is Jim Carrey has wanted to portray a game-accurate Robotnik since the first film. Maybe by the time Sonic 3 rolls around Jim Carrey will go full Eggman with a fat suit). Yes, it can get goofy at times, but that’s hardly an unforgivable sin.
The simple fact is that Sonic the Hedgehog 2 is some of the purest fun I’ve had in a movie in years. I think it’d be fun even if you didn’t know the games. But this is a movie that really cares about going the extra mile for the adults who grew up with Sonic the Hedgehog, and the kids who are growing up with Sonic the Hedgehog. Something like that is becoming pretty rare in this day and age.
Perhaps in retrospect my only real disappointment (besides the mid-credits tease) is that, unlike the first movie, I don’t think any of the music from the games made it into the film’s score. That’s doubly a bummer given how awesome that snippet of Emerald Hill Zone from the film’s teaser was.
Next up we take a break from video game movies and go into movie movies. Or movie documentaries. Or video rental documentaries. I’m talking about The Last Blockbuster, okay!
The Last Blockbuster was released in 2020, and chronicles how Blockbuster Video went from being a brand as big as McDonald’s to going broke and dwindling down to a single store (in Bend, Oregon). It’s a fun, nostalgic documentary that showcases some of the boneheaded business decisions Blockbuster made over the years (like not buying Netflix early on when they had the chance, and that illogical “no more late fees” thing). It really makes me miss the days of going to Blockbuster to rent a movie (or video game) every week. Hell, it makes me miss the days when I ordered movies in the mail from Netflix!
In the days before the internet, I discovered a number of games just by scrolling through Blockbuster shelves (I must have rented Brave Fencer Musashi at least a half dozen times before actually buying it). It’s kind of a shame we can’t have anything like that anymore. Damn internet.
The Last Blockbuster is definitely a fun watch, though I do wish it found a greater variety of film buffs to interview on the subject (a minute of Kevin Smith is too much Kevin Smith for me).
Going from Blockbuster and back into a movie theater, my next movie was Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore. Boy, are the subtitles for this series goofy.
I’ve actually been meaning to review this one, so I won’t say too much here. In short, I think The Secrets of Dumbledore is an improvement over its predecessor The Crimes of Grindlewald (seriously, those titles!), but it still fails to capture the magic of the Harry Potter series. Dumbledore feels like a big dose of course correction after the bungling second installment, but hasn’t elevated Fantastic Beasts to where I think it could be. But maybe now that it’s been pointed in the right direction and with two installments to go, maybe it can find greatness before the end.
I then dipped my toes back into the video game movie pool with Double Dragon from 1994. It’s uhhh… It’s no Sonic the Hedgehog.
I didn’t put an asterisk next to Double Dragon at the beginning of this post because I have technically seen it once before. But this may as well have been the first time because the previous time I watched it was when it was in theaters, and I would have been five at the time, given the film’s late ’94 release. So this viewing was basically like watching Double Dragon for the first time, and is most likely the longest gap in between my first and second viewings of a movie (not that I, or anyone else, could keep track of such a statistic).
This is a bad movie. It has some ironic entertainment, but unlike the other video game movies I would watch later in the month, Double Dragon is more guilty than pleasure.
I admit, I don’t have the deepest history with the Double Dragon video games, but I seem to remember them taking place in essentially an 80s-style setting, filled with martial arts and street gangs of a Karate Kid fashion. I guess the movie has street gangs and an approximation of martial arts, but it also takes place in the “future” of 2007, where a massive earthquake has devastated Los Angeles, giving the film a kind of post-apocalyptic setting. Also the bad guy uses a machine to mutate the gang members working for him into grotesque monstrosities, with the character Abobo from the game being one such creature.
I admit I haven’t played all of the Double Dragon games, but were any of them like this?
Although Robert “The T-1000” Patrick has some fun as the villain, Double Dragon ultimately stumbles. It’s neither a good adaptation or a fun martial arts movie on its own.
Switching back to movie theaters, I saw Dreamworks Animation’s The Bad Guys. I already reviewed The Bad Guys, which was a lot of fun. Its story may not tread very original ground, but the animation is daring and creative. Definitely one to watch if you want something visually unique, or just a fun and humorous riff on gangster and heist movies.
For the final three movies of the month, we go back to the early days of video game adaptations. The first of these was Mortal Kombat from 1995.
Although video game movies have had a very rough history from the beginning, they had at least one gold nugget (okay, bronze) in their early years in the form of Mortal Kombat.
While Mortal Kombat may not be a technically great movie or anything, it was far ahead of other video game movies in that it gave fans want they came to see: this is very much a Mortal Kombat movie. And it’s fun.
All the characters from the original game make an appearance, and they fight. Like, a lot! Seriously, a good chunk of the middle act literally zips from one fight scene to the next. The fighting is cheesy and over-the-top, but in an entertaining way. Some fans lament that the violent “fatalities” weren’t present in the movie. But given how the series became too reliant on the violence later on, I feel like the movie’s relatively tame violence makes it stand out in the franchise. I also like how they decided to make Raiden, the god of thunder and lightning, the funny character of the film in addition to being the mentor.
The big complaint, of course, is how Mortal Kombat’s (incredibly abrupt) ending undoes the whole point of the movie. The whole premise is that the good guys have to win the Mortal Kombat tournament to prevent the emperor of Outworld from invading Earth. Spoiler alert (for a twenty-seven-year-old movie), the good guys win the tournament. But then the emperor comes through a portal to Earth in the last seconds of the film anyway. If you know the stories of the games, this does play into the sequel. But given that the emperor’s sudden appearance is unexplained in the movie, it comes across as a big middle finger to the plot. Yes, it’s eventually explained in Mortal Kombat Annihilation, but maybe the emperor’s emergence itself should have been saved for the sequel to give the first film a proper ending.
Mortal Kombat is a silly movie, but very much a Mortal Kombat movie. In a time when so many video game movies couldn’t even get that right, that was enough. And it’s still goofy fun.
Next up we have Street Fighter! Talk about a guilty pleasure! People use the term “so bad it’s good” a bit too liberally, but I think it’s a very apt description for the Street Fighter movie. It’s so bad, but so glorious.
Street Fighter is basically a cheesy military action movie combined with a cheesy martial arts movie, and it stars Jean-Claude Van Damme as Guile and the late Raul Julia as M. Bison.
The film has some notable deviations from the source material, such as Guile being the main character, while Ryu and Ken are bumbling comic relief. I don’t mind that too much, since they basically just swapped the generic guy wearing a gi as the main character in favor of the generic military character (personally, I always thought Chun-Li should have been the main character of the series since she stands out far more). There’s also the infamous change of Zangief being a bad guy (an idea that Wreck-It Ralph would unknowingly accept as fact), but he does go good by the end. But overall, it’s a decently faithful adaptation of Street Fighter II. Certainly a better adaptation than the anime movie, and more entertaining too.
Of course, you can’t talk about the Street Fighter movie without mentioning that it was one of Raul Julia’s last film roles. Sadly, Julia’s health had been in decline, and accepted the role of M. Bison because his kids were fans of Street Fighter and wanted to give them something to enjoy as one of his last roles (an incredibly classy act on his part). But his health rapidly declined after production began, which greatly affected the physical training for the actors (they often didn’t even get to practice for their fight scenes until right before they shot them), which probably explains why the fights are nothing special. Raul Julia would sadly pass away not long after the movie was complete, with the film dedicated to his memory.
Raul Julia really gave it his all though. He knew exactly what kind of movie he was in and made the absolute best of it, hamming M. Bisom up to high heaven and creating a gloriously cheesy villain.
The rest of the film is also cheesy fun, with Jean-Claude Van Damme being an ironic highlight (and Ming-Na Wen as Chun-Li being a more genuine one). Capcom themselves clearly thought the movie was entertaining, sneaking in sly references to the movie in some of their games (like Chun-Li being a news reporter in Mega Man 9). Hell, the film even gave Ken his last name, Masters.
Street Fighter was released in theaters less than two months after Double Dragon, so it must have been something like a palette cleanser to video game fans back in 1994. Today, if you want to indulge in some “so bad it’s good” fun, Street Fighter is one of the best options. As is my final movie of the month…
I ended the month with the video game movie that started it all, Super Mario Bros. from 1993. Like Street Fighter, I consider Super Mario Bros. to be one of my great guilty pleasures, and a movie that’s so bad it’s good. Although Street Fighter probably has more genuinely praise-worthy elements, I still put Super Mario Bros. in the same boat because it is such a weird, surreal movie that it really does have to be seen to be believed.
Again, the Super Mario Bros. movie is a bad movie, but it is fascinating to behold. You may honestly ask yourself “what the hell am I watching?” when viewing it.
The film’s first slip-up was, of course, the fact that it’s live-action. How anyone could look at the Super Mario Bros. games, and decide live-action made any kind of sense for the series, I will surely never know. It’s perhaps no surprise then, that the film’s second great mistake is that it has virtually nothing to do with the games other than some of the character names (the film uses the Super Mario Bros. theme music during the opening title in what may be the most cruel tease in cinema history).
Granted, I stand by my past claims that early video game movies have a pretty decent excuse for their less-than ideal quality in that the video games of the time were so different from movies that adapting them for the silver screen would be difficult. And Super Mario Bros. was the first theatrical video game movie adaptation (there was a straight-to-video Mario anime in Japan previously), so it’s understandable that sailing such uncharted waters would be a difficult task for the movie. Now, I’m not excusing the Super Mario Bros. movie of its faults, but at least given the circumstances of the time, they make sense.
Some people complain about casting the late, great British actor Bob Hoskins as Mario and the Colombian actor John Leguizamo as Luigi, since the Mario Brothers are, you know, Italian. But honestly, Mario is such a cartoony character that I hardly think it matters (I also don’t mind Chris Pratt voicing Mario in the upcoming animated film). I’m more offended by the fact that they didn’t give Luigi a mustache. Plus, I think both actors do a fine job despite the rest of the movie, with Bob Hoskins in particular doing a great job at portraying a more realistic take on Mario as a plumber from Brooklyn. Though the fact that the film focuses so intensely on Mario’s occupation – which is little more than a tidbit in the video games – is telling of how poorly the movie understood the material.
Oh yeah, and the film’s version of Bowser is President Koopa, portrayed by Dennis Hopper. The Goombas are really tall guys with tiny lizard heads for some reason. The film also uses the name Daisy for the princess (Princess Daisy having only appeared in Super Mario Land at the time), I suppose because the name Peach (or Toadstool) wasn’t realistic enough in a movie as grounded in reality as this. By the way, did I mention that the premise of the film is that the meteorite that wiped out the dinosaurs actually created a parallel universe where the dinosaurs evolved into humanoid beings, and Koopa wants the missing piece of the meteorite to merge the dimensions? So that’s fine, but the name Princess Toadstool is going too far.
Perhaps the most hilarious changes from the games are the little things, like how the Mario Bros. wear special shoes to allow them to jump high (because that really needed an explanation) or how, instead of overalls, the brothers Mario wind up wearing jumpsuits with color patterns that approximate their famous attire. Like, why couldn’t they even get the overalls right?
Even if you can somehow ignore the absolute mishandling of the Mario franchise, this movie would still be a weird fever dream of cinema. And yet, I can’t look away…
Alright, I’ve rambled long enough. Let’s dish out the usual awards so I can move on to some proper reviews (and maybe watch Street Fighter again).
Best Movie I Watched All Month *And* Best Movie I Watched for the First Time This Month: Sonic the Hedgehog 2
Go ahead and hate me, but I love these Sonic movies. The first one was a delightful surprise, being a legitimately good family movie that happens to star Sonic the Hedgehog. But the sequel is a full-fledged Sonic the Hedgehog movie, and the best video game movie yet made.
Obviously, Sonic 2 had a more difficult time winning over critics (but the reception was mostly positive). The fact the film is based on a video game probably had a lot of ‘professional’ critics making up their mind right off the bat, unfortunately. But for people who enjoy a little thing called “fun,” Sonic the Hedgehog 2 delivers that in droves.
Sonic 2 is terrific fun. Doubly so if you’re a fan of the source material (probably something else that turned most critics away. Can’t have fans being happy). It’s truer to the classic games than the Sonic games themselves have been in a very long time (with the exception of Sonic Mania). Who would have thought that the movie adaptations would be the best thing to happen to Sega’s flagship franchise in years?
Plus, it’s just nice to have this type of movie that has a tone, sense of humor and action scenes that don’t just ape the same stuff Marvel has been doing for a decade and a half (although the finale may come a bit close). And yes, I gave it a more glowing review than Spider-Man: No Way Home. I don’t regret that one bit.
Go ahead and hate me for praising this kids’ movie based on a video game. But it’s honest to goodness some of the most fun I’ve had with a movie in a long time.
Worst Movie I Watched All Month: Double Dragon
Whereas Sonic the Hedgehog 2 took video game movies to new heights, Double Dragon was something of an early low. It lacks the bungling insanity of Super Mario Bros. and doesn’t begin to compare to the glorious cheesiness of Street Fighter. So while those movies are the good kind of bad, Double Dragon isn’t so lucky.
I’ve seen worse movies (this is hardly even the worst movie to “win” in this category in the handful of months I’ve done these), and video game movies themselves would get much worse during the 2000s. But it’s safe to say that Double Dragon is pretty bad, and has less of the guilty pleasure factor of its contemporary video game movies.
The Guilty Pleasure Award: Super Mario Bros. and/or Street Fighter
Super Mario Bros. is a hilarious disaster of a movie. As I said, being the first (Hollywood) movie to adapt a video game was already an uphill battle, but Super Mario Bros. also had a slew of other production problems besides that. It’s really no wonder it ended up a mess. The fact that it seemed to actively avoid any semblance of faithfulness to the games it was adapting only adds a slew of other issues.
And yet, the film is so bonkers I can’t help but get a kick out of it. There are so many bizarre details in this movie: Like when the cop in the dinosaur world is questioning the Mario brothers, there’s a woman rubbing her high heel on the cop’s shoulder the whole time. What the hell is that about? There’s also the running gag of Koopa waiting for a pizza he ordered, which ultimately has no payoff.
Some people try to claim that, if you removed the Super Mario name from the equation, that this wouldn’t be too bad of a movie. But I disagree. As a fan of the Super Mario series, I think the film’s utter ineptitude at capturing even the most basic elements of the games (again, the Mario brothers don’t even have overalls) gives the picture a kind of pitiable charm akin to The Room. It’s a bad movie, but you root for it nonetheless. Take away the “Mario” element and it’s simply a bad movie.
With that said, it is obvious why Nintendo was reluctant to let anyone make another movie based on their games for the longest time (though there was an Animal Crossing anime film in 2006 which has strangely never been released outside of Japan). Nintendo didn’t let Hollywood anywhere near their franchises until Detective Pikachu in 2019. And now we have a brand-new Super Mario Bros. movie finally on the way. Although the fact that it’s being made by Illumination has me skeptical (and I hate that Seth Rogen is Donkey Kong), I’m still excited for it. Here’s hoping it learns a thing or two from the Sonic movies (and that may be the only time Mario needs to learn anything from Sonic).
Finally, how can the Street Fighter movie not put a smile on someone’s face? It is the epitome of dumb fun.
The whole movie is one big, goofy ride. Littered with cheesy dialogue and cheesier action, not to mention Jean-Claude Van Damme struggling to deliver his lines. But it’s the efforts of Raul Julia that ascend Street Fighter to glorious ridiculousness.
Double Dragon may have been squeezed in the middle of them, but it really was fitting that Super Mario Bros. and Street Fighter were among the earliest video game movies. It’s just appropriate that two games of such iconic stature would be adapted before any others. You can complain about their execution all you want, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way than have Mario and Street Fighter be the first video game movie adaptations.
These movies really are two sides of the same coin. Take that as you will.
That’s all folks!
I’ve rambled quite long enough (again). So let’s put this one in the books and call it a day. I don’t know if I’ll write another “My Month in Movies” soon. But I said that before and I’ve done a few since then, so I guess we’ll see. As always, I hope you had a fun read.
I know I said I wasn’t going to do another one of these for a while, but I changed my mind, I guess. Another “My Month in Movies” bit. It gave me another opportunity to praise Turning Red some more. In the illustrious words of Doctor Emmett Brown, “what the hell?”
I didn’t watch a whole lot of movies this month. Only eight. On the plus side, that gives me all the more reason to try to make this edition of My Month in Movies a bit shorter. Allow me to pull myself away from Elden Ring and Kirby and the Forgotten Land for a few minutes and let’s hop to it!
I watched the following eight movies during March 2022 (movies with asterisks are ones I watched for the very first time).
Sleepless in Seattle
You’ve Got Mail
When Harry Met Sally…
The Kid (1921)*
No real theme this month. Though the first three films share some DNA, and two of them are Pixar films.
Sleepless in Seattle, You’ve Got Mail and When Harry Met Sally were all romantic comedies written by the late Nora Ephron, while the first two were also directed by her (When Harry Met Sally was of course directed by Rob Reiner). All three of which have Meg Ryan as the female lead, while the first two have Tom Hanks as the male lead (When Harry Met Sally has Billy Crystal instead, which seems really weird for a romantic comedy, but it’s considered one of the most influential examples of the genre so, hey, what do I know?).
Although this type of movie definitely differs from my usual interest (there’s no wizards in this movie?!), I actually genuinely enjoy all three of them. Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan have great chemistry, and Billy Crystal adds some sharp wit and adlibbed humor to When Harry Met Sally (although at times the character’s know-it-all attitude can be a bit much). Call them cheesy all you want, they’re entertaining movies. I do have to laugh at You’ve Got Mail’s dated computer/internet references though (hey, it was 1998).
After that I watched the classic 1921 silent film, The Kid, starring Charlie Chaplin in his iconic role of “the Tramp” (it meant something different back then!), one of the most influential characters in cinema history. The entertainment value has held up really well (Charlie Chaplin was basically a living cartoon character), as has some of the film’s more poignant scenes, though there are some uncomfortable moments early on when the Tramp finds an abandoned baby boy and contemplates leaving him on the street or in a sewer grate for a brief moment. Yikes…
Overall, a really good movie though. The Tramp ends up raising the kid, but because he’s poor he’s looked down on as being unfit to do so. So there’s some commentary in there as well. But it’s the genius slapstick that really makes it standout.
Entering more modern territory, I watched Free Guy again! I already reviewed this one, but it’s the 2021 film where Ryan Reynolds plays a video game NPC who becomes self-aware and begins to realize he’s in a video game. To my pleasant surprise, I found I enjoyed it even more this second time around. It was probably the funniest movie I saw last year, except maybe The Mitchells Vs. the Machines. It’s a lot of fun. Though I still wish it gave its references to real games like Mega Man, Portal and Half-Life the same pomp and circumstance it gives its movie shoutouts…
Next up was Finding Nemo, one of the most important movies to come out of the 2000s. I like to think of Finding Nemo as the movie that made Pixar, well, Pixar. Sure, Toy Story was revolutionary, Toy Story 2 was basically perfect, and Monsters, Inc. was charming to high heaven (also, A Bug’s Life was there), but I think Finding Nemo solidified Pixar’s place in animation history. It – and later, The Incredibles – were the Pixar movies that became pop culture phenomenon, and that everyone could quote by heart (I remember people making plenty of references to them in online games back in the day). Although it may not be my favorite Pixar movie, I do feel very grateful to Finding Nemo. I think its influence came at a time when most animation studios were banking off the cynicism and dated parodies spawned by Shrek (it was a dark time). Thankfully, Finding Nemo’s influence ultimately won the war, resulting in the far more thoughtful, sincere and insightful animated films we’ve seen in the 2010s to today.
Pixar’s classic about a clownfish searching the entire ocean for his son remains a classic. Its (strangely underrated) sequel is almost just as good.
Now we get to Pixar’s most recent feature, Turning Red! I also reviewed this one recently, and suffice to say, I loved it! I think it’s the best movie Pixar has made in the past few years. And the best Pixar movie that wasn’t helmed by one of the studio’s original team of filmmakers. That’s actually a pretty big feat, since it seems like animation studios in particular can have a hard time finding the right new blood to carry their mantle (even Studio Ghibli hit some road bumps with their younger directors… although now with that said, Whisper of the Heart – the first theatrical Ghibli film not by Miyazaki or Takahata – is pretty amazing. But now I’m getting sidetracked).
What makes Turning Red work so well is that it has a voice of its own, while still retaining the heart that Pixar is renowned for. It doesn’t simply try to mimic Pixar’s past but does something new with the Pixar legacy. And it’s great fun!
Finally, I managed to see The Batman in theaters. Like The Suicide Squad last year, The Batman continues the weird, modern trend of throwing the word “the” into the title of a previous movie for a sequel/reboot. I don’t get it. But the movie itself was surprisingly good.
I know it’s become popular on the internet to claim Christopher Nolan’s Batman films are “overrated” or whatever, but I still hold them as the benchmark for Batman/DC films (the first two, anyway, although I think The Dark Knight Rises is better than it often gets credit for). Although I don’t think The Batman reaches those heights, it probably is the best non-Nolan Batman film. For one thing, Batman doesn’t blatantly kill people like he did in Batman V. Superman, so right away that’s a bonus.
Robert Pattinson made a great Batman (and Bruce Wayne, for the five-ish minutes he appeared as the Dark Knight’s alter ego), and he was complimented by Zoë Kravitz Catwoman. I also like how the film really emphasized the detective aspect of Batman more so than past films, and that it went the route of Batman Begins by having a small handful of different villains, the best of which was an unrecognizable Colin Farrell as the Penguin.
I do, however, have mixed feelings about its version of the Riddler. He just doesn’t really seem like the Riddler. I get that they wanted a more gritty and less ridiculous movie (so no Jim Carrey), and in some respects the character worked. But I don’t know, something felt off. Maybe it was the fact that he was a conspiracy theorist who was somehow actually right about things, or maybe it was the weird way he was dead serious for much of the film, and then delivers an out-of-nowhere joke late in the movie. Or maybe it was that he was basically the Joker. But I have mixed feelings on this Riddler. Maybe I’ll actually review The Batman soon and delve into it more.
Also, I do have to say (minor spoiler, but I think we all saw this coming), I’m actually kind of bummed that the film teases the Joker as the next villain. I know, he’s Batman’s archnemesis and one of the most iconic villains of all time, yadda yadda yadda. But given that we just had an entire movie dedicated to the Joker in 2019, as well as Heath Ledger’s acclaimed take on the character in The Dark Knight, it kind of feels like we should start giving other Batman villains the time to shine. Sure, this film has Riddler, but a Riddler who is suspiciously Joker-esque. And it hypes up Joker for the sequel in the end anyway (which Batman Begins already did). Wouldn’t it be cool if Scarecrow or Two-Face could get that kind of hype for once? I don’t know, maybe it’s just the ludicrous amount of Batman continuities we have going on in movies and TV over the past few years, but I kind of want to see another villain in the role of big bad for once. You can only reboot a franchise so many times in a few short years before certain characters start to lose their mystique and, well, there it is.
But, overall, I actually thought The Batman was very good. Again, let’s wait for a proper review before I delve deeper.
Anyway, on to the awards!
Best Movie I Watched All Month *AND* Best Movie I Watched for the First Time This Month: Turning Red
This is the first time since I’ve written these things that the same movie won my “Movie of the Month” and “Best Movie I Watched for the First Time” honors. So I figured I’d lump ’em together, rather than writing this twice. Or something.
Turning Red is simply an utter delight. It’s the funniest movie Pixar has ever made, and their most delightfully weird as well. It’s basically a reimagined coming-of-age story, about a weird, awkward kid entering puberty and facing the changes that come with it. But in the case of Meilin Lee, that also means transforming into a giant red panda when she gets too excited.
There’s also a delightful (and rare) specificity to it: It’s set during 2002, when the boy band craze was still strong. It’s about a Chinese family living in Toronto, and the culture shock that comes with it. It just feels so unique to see an animated film that’s this specific with the story and setting.
On the surface, Turning Red is the most chaotic and hyperactive Pixar movie (and it’s funny as hell for it). But look deeper and you’ll find an incredibly smart, witty, insightful movie about growing up and embracing change. It’s a beautiful story, brought to equally beautiful life with some of Pixar’s best, most stylized animation to date.
If Turning Red (and director Domee Shi) represent the future of Pixar, well then Pixar’s future is in safe and secure hands.
Seriously, don’t be surprised if I bring this movie up a lot going forward. I can’t get enough of it.
Worst Movie I Watched All Month: N/A
Sorry folks, nothing to really hate on this month. True, not all the movies I watched were equals, but I still think they’re all good movies. As such, it would feel wrong to label any of them as the “worst” and give them the same dishonor I’ve given to such schlock as Netflix’s Bright and Jaws: The Revenge. Sorry.
The Guilty Pleasure Award: You’ve Got Mail (I guess)
I mean, I feel guilty about calling this a guilty pleasure. But I guess there are some cheesy moments, and as previously mentioned, the 1998 “computer talk” definitely dates the movie. But I think it’s a sweet rom-com. So sue me. And don’t tell me you don’t get just a little choked up at the end. Excuse me, I have something in my eye!
That’s all folks! Like I said, not a whole lot of movies this month, and I had been wanting to make these My Month in Movies shorter anyway. But as usual, I hope you had a fun read, that you were maybe mildly entertained, or gained interest in any of these movies.
As usual, take care, stay safe, and may we all have a good month ahead of us.
Looks like I’m doing “My Month in Movies” again. I feel I watched enough movies in the first month of 2022 to warrant another one. And the movies mostly followed the specific theme of ‘fantasy’ – which I like to think is something of a speciality of mine – so it made sense. Even more specifically, I rewatched the entire Harry Potter series again (Fantastic Beasts and all), partly because Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore (what a title) comes out in a couple of months, and partly because I started the year watching that retrospective special on the Harry Potter movies’ twentieth anniversary on HBO Max, so I was feeling nostalgic for them. I’m glad I did, because I feel it rekindled my interest in the series, and even gave me new appreciation for it. I would like to review all of the Harry Potter movies someday, and perhaps sooner still make a ranking of them. But I have so many backlogged things I want to write as it is, so for now, they can be a part of this My Month in Movies.
Because ‘My Month in Movies’ has gotten ridiculously long in the past, I’m going to try and keep things as short and simple as possible. And due to the aforementioned backlog of reviews and other things, I don’t plan on doing another My Month in Movies for February or March. But then again, I only decided to write this one for January after I watched the entire Harry Potter series, so who knows. I’ll write them when I write them, I guess.
Enough intros and wasting time. Here are the eighteen movies I watched in January of 2022, in chronological order of when I watched them. Movies with asterisks next to them are ones I watched for the very first time.
Harry Potter 20th Anniversary: Return to Hogwarts*
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
Harry Potter and the Chamber ofSecrets
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindlewald
Bram Stoker’s Dracula*
Wild Wild West*
The Ice Age Adventures of Buck Wild*
So yeah, ‘fantasy’ was definitely the name of the game this month. There are a couple of horror movies in there, but both would still ultimately fall under fantasy in one way or another (many people consider fantasy, horror and science fiction to be like different branches of the same tree. But I’d argue that fantasy is the tree itself, considering it supersedes the other two in terms of concept whenever it’s joined together with them. For example, when science-fiction dabbles into fantasy, it becomes science-fantasy. But when fantasy dabbles in science fiction, it’s still fantasy). You could even argue that Wild Wild West and The Ice Age Adventures of Buck Wild could be considered variations of fantasy.
My month/year in movies began with Harry Potter 20th Anniversary: Return to Hogwarts. You could argue it isn’t actually a movie, but it’s feature length and certainly entertaining, so I’m counting it here. A lovely look back on twenty years of Harry Potter movies. I was actually surprised how emotional I got during it. I’ve taken some jabs at Harry Potter here and there in the past, namely because people often (and strangely) compared it to The Lord of the Rings back in the day. And well, that was always a losing battle. But deep down I’ve always loved Harry Potter, despite some narrative shortcomings. And this 20 year retrospective reminded me of why I love it. It was great that the Harry Potter books got kids reading again (there have been other popular book series for children and young adults since, none of which are as indelible). And then you have the movies giving a generation of audiences a gateway to imagination and magic (figurative and literal, in this case).
I definitely have to appreciate the magic and world-building of the Harry Potter series, which feels all the more unique in retrospect now that movies aren’t allowed to have magic anymore (if Harry Potter took place in the MCU, every time someone casted a spell they’d have to stop and explain how it “wasn’t really magic, but a really advanced science”). The series is sometimes too loose with its rules, with magic seemingly changing for plot convenience. But for the most part, it’s well done and imaginative. And again, I’ll take it over the alternative of over-explaining fantasy elements or being embarrassed by them (again, I’m looking at you, MCU).
Something the 20th anniversary special really brought to my attention is how the Harry Potter series appropriately matures as it goes on. It’s maybe the only movie series in which you see its main stars grow up throughout it. Obviously I was aware of that, but I never really gave it much thought until watching the special. The fact that they were able to adapt all seven books (into eight movies) with the same cast over the course of a decade is quite the unique achievement.
The first two Harry Potter features, Sorcerer’s Stone and Chamber of Secrets, feel more like kids’ movies than the others. Both were directed by Chris Columbus (he did Home Alone, among others), whose work with the series I feel is under appreciated. Some applaud the first two movies in the series as being the most faithful to the books, while others feel the series hadn’t yet found its voice, and that they’re too long given they’re targeted at a younger audience. I think both movies are pretty great, even if it’s obvious the three leads hadn’t quite meshed into the roles yet (which is forgivable, given their ages at the time). They’re great fantasy-adventure movies for kids that are equally entertaining for adults. I think Chris Columbus set a great tone for the start of the series. And we can’t forget the score by John Williams! Because having done Star Wars and Spielberg’s filmography wasn’t enough, John Williams also gave us the music to Harry Potter as well. What a legend.
The third film in the series, Prisoner of Azkaban, is often regarded as the best of the lot, and rightfully so. Azkaban isn’t simply a great Harry Potter movie or a great fantasy movie. It’s a great movie, period. It’s more grown up than its two predecessors, but still retains their more playful spirit (something some of the sequels lack). It also has perhaps the most self-contained story, and certainly the most character-driven one. It ended up being the only Harry Potter film directed by Alfonso Cuarón, and the last one to feature music by John Williams.
Goblet of Fire is the first notable dip in the series, but it certainly isn’t bad. Admittedly, some of that dip is simply because Azkaban was so good. But it also feels like most of Goblet’s story is just padding to get to the ending, when the evil Lord Voldemort is resurrected. It’s hard to explain, but the ending of the film feels like the start of a new series (which I guess makes sense, since Voldemort’s resurrection marks the biggest tonal and narrative shift in the series). It doesn’t really feel like an ending to the story of the rest of the movie. And I always found it a bit weird how, after the elaborate plots Voldemort attempted to be resurrected in Sorcerer’s Stone and Chamber of Secrets, he just has one of his minions perform a dark ritual to successfully be brought back. Seems like he could have saved himself some trouble by jumping straight into that. Goblet was the only Harry Potter film directed by Mike Newell before David Yates took over the rest of the series (which continues to this day with the Fantastic Beasts movies).
Order of the Phoenix is probably the Harry Potter movie I’ve seen the most times (except maybe Sorcerer’s Stone), although I don’t really know why. It’s a good movie, but I think it only occasionally reaches the same heights as the first three. I guess, with Voldemort back, the story had to change. I just don’t think the change is always for the better (perhaps it’s no coincidence that I and many others hold Azkaban in such high regard and it also happens to be the most Voldemort-free entry?). It’s still a fun movie, and gives us the franchise’s most gloriously hatable character in the form of Dolores Umbridge. With David Yates’ grip on the series starting here, Phoenix set the tone for the rest of the films to follow.
Half-Blood Prince is the penultimate story in the series. I never read the book for this one, which is sometimes considered the best book in the series. The movie seems to have a rockier reputation, and again, I tend to agree. Before my current run-through of the Harry Potter movies, I had only seen Half-Blood Prince once, back when it was in theaters. At the time, I would have said it was my least favorite Harry Potter movie, but now it’s a toss-up between it and Goblet of Fire (unless we count the Fantastic Beasts movies, in which case we all know The Crimes of Grindlewald takes the dubious crown with ease). Like Goblet of Fire, it’s not a bad movie, it just feels like something is missing. There are some great, key moments for the franchise here. But on the whole, it just isn’t as memorable as some of the other movies in the series. I also never really bought into the Hermione/Ron romance (something which J.K. Rowling herself regrets), and that enters the forefront here. Said romance also seems oddly placed given the severity of everything else going on (or maybe it’s just because I’m a predominantly asexual individual so teen romance is lost on me). Again, not a bad movie, but the series can do better.
Somewhat annoyingly, Harry Potter started that trend we saw in the early 2010s of a franchise finale being split into two movies with Deathly Hallows (technically, The Hobbit started the trend when it was set to be split in two a while beforehand, despite being released after both Deathly Hallows. Though The Hobbit was ultimately spread too thin with three movies). In all fairness, at least Harry Potter was a big enough franchise that splitting its finale felt warranted.
Deathly Hallows: Part 1 set the stage for a big, epic finale. And for the most part, it succeeds. I think my two big issues with Deathly Hallows are that some of the notable character deaths happen off-screen (apparently these same deaths happened off-page in the book, so this is on Rowling), and that I think the whole storyline with Voldemort’s Horcruxes (cursed objects that contain pieces of his soul thus leaving him immortal) needed to be a little more spread out. The first Horcrux is taken care of all the way back in Chamber of Secrets, which makes sense and gives that story even more importance. But then when Harry and Dumbledore find another Horcrux in Half-Blood Prince, it needlessly turns out to be a fake, so a good deal of Deathly Hallows: Part 1 is dealing with that same Horcrux. It seems like the one Harry and Dumbledore found in Half-Blood Prince should have just been the real thing and destroyed then and there so the story could move on to the rest of the Horcruxes.
Anyway, Deathly Hallows: Part 1 is a highly entertaining movie that fittingly feels like a big deal, even when watching it today. But I think that Part 2 is even better.
Deathly Hallows: Part 2 is one of the best franchise closers in movie history. The sense of drama and urgency feels well earned, the emotion is strong, and it all boils down to an appropriately epic finale. And it has the best music in the series since John Williams left it behind. This is another great movie. Not nearly as standalone as Azkaban, nor does it have that film’s hard to describe ‘dreamlike’ quality. But because it’s such a satisfying end to the series, Deathly Hallows: Part 2 might be my second favorite Harry Potter movie (guess we’ll see when I finally decide to rank the series). I have a lingering complaint from Part 1 with the continuing trend of off-screen character deaths (for some of them I understand it. Harry can’t be present for every character death. But some of the more important characters’ deaths make it feel like Rowling started killing them off just to do it, since they happen off-screen). Though my complaint that’s unique to Part 2 is that – and I admit this may seem weird – there’s not a whole lot that happens after the final battle and before the epilogue. Basically, I think there needed to be more ending. Not necessarily a better ending, since I feel the ending is fine. Just more of it.
People love to joke that The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King has multiple endings. But I never took issue with any of them. They all gave an appropriate sense of finality to one of cinema’s great franchises. And I think Harry Potter could have done something similar. I would have liked to have seen more of the characters in detail after the final battle and before the epilogue. This is a series that earned the “never-ending endings” treatment. So it’s a shame it doesn’t get it. Otherwise, a great movie, and a prime example of how to close out a movie series.
Now we move on to the Fantastic Beasts series, a prequel/spinoff of Harry Potter exclusive to the world of movies (okay, there was a book “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them” but from what I gather it was more like a guide of fictional animals within the Harry Potter universe, as opposed to the story we see in the movie series). Prequels released after a beloved franchise has wrapped up don’t exactly have the best track record. And well, Fantastic Beasts hasn’t exactly done a great job at bucking that trend.
Okay, so the first film, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, is okay. It doesn’t do anything really great, but it’s fun and introduces us to some entertaining new characters like Newt Scamander (Eddie Redmayne), Tina Goldstein (Katherine Waterston) and her mind-reading sister Queenie (Alison Sudol), and the Muggle/No-Maj Jacob Kowalski (Dan Fogler), the first non-magic main character in the series (something that proves to be a lot of fun) as well as the first American actor/main character in the franchise.
Fantastic Beasts is a solidly enjoyable movie that is at once nostalgic for the Harry Potter of yesteryear, while also showing audiences different aspects of that world. And in a move I like, it introduces us to some creatures in the Wizarding World that are actually cute! One of my ongoing issues with Harry Potter was how ugly all the creatures of its world were, so it was nice that Fantastic Beasts showed us some cute ones. Fantastic Beasts is nothing special, but it’s a fun movie.
The same can’t be said about the sequel, the awkwardly-titled Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindlewald. This movie is such a mess that it (as well as the whole Johnny Depp controversy) derailed the series for a good few years. Although it’s annoying that this sequel resurrects a character who seemingly died in the first Fantastic Beasts movie, it otherwise starts out alright. But things quickly go off the rails as the movie devolves into an undying barrage of exposition, which leaves the second half of the film feeling more like the appendices of a book than an actual movie. We also can’t forget the introduction of a character who seems destined to be important to the series going forward, only for the movie to kill them off before everything is said and done. One of the main characters ends up siding with the villain in the most random heel turn ever. And the movie ends on a cliffhanger that is also one of the most annoying retcons to an established story I can recall (I suppose it is possible this can be undone in the upcoming installments, but we’ll see). Some even argue that the series entered into the “more serious” territory too soon with the second entry, considering there are still three more to go.
The Crimes of Grindlewald has some entertainment value, and it’s fun that we finally get to see Nicolas Flamel (the titular sorcerer/philosopher behind the Sorcerer’s/Philosopher’s Stone). But boy, does it lose its way by the end. Here’s hoping that The Secrets of Dumbledore gets the series back on track.
As an added bonus, I also watched all four episodes of that game show Harry Potter: Hogwarts Tournament of Houses that aired in December of 2021, hosted by Dame Helen Mirren (I guess because she was just about the only notable English actor not to appear in the Harry Potter movies). I was surprised to hear the game show didn’t have too fond of a reception, as I found it to be pretty fun (though I did have some issues with the structure of the contest). I don’t know if a second season is planned, but I hope it happens.
And now we finally move on from Harry Potter.
Next up was the BFG, the 2016 Steven Spielberg movie based on the Road Dahl book, about a little girl who befriends a Big Friendly Giant (BFG). I intended to see this in theaters back in the day, but never got around to it. Apparently I’m not the only one, because the film was a box office bomb. That’s a shame, because the movie was actually pretty good. It’s certainly not among Spielberg’s best films or anything, and it takes a while to get going, but it ultimately charmed me. Considering this was Spielberg’s first movie to be released by Disney, you would think that combination would have put more butts in the seats. Alas, fairy tales such as this just don’t sell unless they’re made directly by Disney Animation. The BFG may not be a Spielberg or Disney great, but it’s a good family movie that deserves a little more attention.
Now we take a total 180 with Bram Stoker’s Dracula from 1992, directed by Francis Ford Coppola, the director of the 1996 film Jack… and also The Godfather (I’ve been waiting to use that for a while). This is the Dracula movie where Gary Oldman plays the iconic vampire. And the one where Dracula has the butt/boob shaped hair. What? He does!
Anyway, the film is considered one of the more faithful adaptations of Dracula, hence Bram Stoker’s name in the title. Some people love this movie, others less so. I think it’s worth a watch for fans of Dracula and horror, and the film looks good. But if I’m going to be honest, some scenes are kind of unintentionally hilarious. And well, even the film’s defenders can’t deny that Keanu Reeve’s English accent makes Dick Van Dyke seem like a full-blooded Englishman.
One thing’s for sure, the theme music to Bram Stoker’s Dracula is amazing! So menacing and foreboding. Even if you’ve never seen the movie, you’ve probably heard the theme music. It’s so effective as villainous music that many other works have used it, ranging from an episode of Star Wars: The Clone Wars to the original teaser for Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl. And though I can’t confirm it, I think Super Mario Galaxy’s rendition of Super Mario Bros. 3’s Airship theme was inspired by the theme of Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Damn, this music is good!
Speaking of good music, my next movie was Hook. Oh boy, does the soundtrack to Hook kick ass!
For those unfamiliar, Hook is a 1991 Steven Spielberg movie that has a rather amazing premise: What if Peter Pan grew up?
The film stars the late, great Robin Williams as an adult Peter Pan (perfect casting there), who has forgotten his past and now goes by Peter Banning. But when Captain Hook (memorably portrayed by Dustin Hoffman) kidnaps Peter’s children, Peter has to rediscover who he really is to take down his old foe and rescue his kids.
There seem to be two different opinions when it comes to Hook: There’s the more critical crowd who consider it one of Spielberg’s weakest movies (a sentiment shared by Spielberg himself), and those who grew up watching it on VHS who adore it. As is often the case with two such extreme opposing viewpoints, I think the truth lies somewhere in the middle. I think Hook is a better movie than it gets credit for, but no doubt it takes more than one serious dip once Peter makes his way back to Neverland. And even the film’s aforementioned amazing premise of a grown up Peter Pan gets a little squandered in the latter half as it devolves into a simple retelling of Peter Pan.
But the one thing that can’t be denied is that the soundtrack is phenomenal! It’s a Spielberg movie, which of course means John Williams was the composer. With John Williams, you expect good music, but the soundtrack to Hook goes above and beyond the call of duty. It’s up there with Star Wars and Jurassic Park as one of John Williams’ best scores. That’s not an exaggeration. It’s so good!
Importantly, the music to Hook played a roll in inspiring the soundtrack to Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy’s Kong Quest, AKA the best video game soundtrack. For that alone we should be eternally grateful.
Going back to horror with It Follows from 2014. Whereas Bram Stoker’s Dracula is a horror film with a great premise and so-so execution, It Follows has a concept that sounds ridiculous when you say it out loud or write it out, but the end result is actually very effective.
It Follows is a horror film about an unnamed entity that – true to the title – follows its prey until It catches up to them and kills them. But the premise is a bit more interesting because of the rules of how the entity, or “It” works.
“It” only stalks one person at any given time, and whoever is the current victim of “It” can pass “It” on to someone else by (and here’s where it may sound silly) having sex with them. But should “It” catch up to its current victim and kill them, it will go back to its previous target and keep going down the line. “It” has no definitive form, instead taking on the appearance of different people, and is only visible to its current and previous targets. But its victims have some advantages against “It.” Notably, “It” is incredibly slow, only capable of moving at waking speed. So even though “It” is aware of the location of its current target at all times, it can be outran in individual moments. “It” also is only an unstoppable killing machine if it catches its victim, otherwise it still has trouble opening locked doors or breaking through windows. Finally, even though it disguises itself as other people, because it has the singular goal of killing its current target and can only move at one speed, it’s pretty easy to pick out from a crowd.
Again, it all sounds a bit wonky when you explain it, but that makes it all the more impressive that the film manages to pull off the concept into a genuinely chilling horror film.
Next up was Labryinth, directed by Jim Henson and executive produced by George Lucas. This is a fun movie that’s often lumped together with Henson’s previous film The Dark Crystal, due to both films being fantasy worlds filled with crazy creatures brought to life by Henson’s signature puppets. In the past, I would have said Labyrinth was the better of the two movies since its smaller scope was more attainable with what Henson had to work with, though the excellent 2019 Netflix series The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance has somewhat retroactively made the mythology of the original Dark Crystal film feel stronger (then Netflix, in their “infinite wisdom” decided to cancel Age of Resistance after one season). So it’s hard to say which of the two movies I prefer, but like the original Dark Crystal, Labyrinth is a good and fun movie that I still think could have been done better, given the talent involved.
The movie of course features two prominent human actors, which differentiates it from the exclusively-puppet Dark Crystal. Jennifer Connelly portrays Sarah Williams, a teenager who traverses the titular labyrinth to save her little brother from Jareth the Goblin King (David Bowie).
As always with Jim Henson films, the movie is a technical marvel with how they brought everything to life, and for that alone is worth watching. But I do think Labyrinth is one of those fantasy films that feels like its concept could have been greater in execution. Imagine a Jim Henson movie with a story that could match the technical craftsmanship and artistry of it? That would be amazing! Though I guess we did get that with Age of Resistance, just in the form of a series instead of a movie (shame Netflix didn’t give it a proper chance).
Next in line was Wild Wild West, that western/steampunk movie starring Will Smith and Kevin Kline from 1999 that you probably only know about because the theme song outlived the movie. This is a bad, dumb movie. But the kind of bad, dumb movie I can at least get a kick out of. The film at least has some inventiveness with its steampunk creations. Again, it’s dumb. But whatever.
Finally, I watched the newest Ice Age film, The Ice Age Adventures of Buck Wild, which was released on Disney+ at the end of the month. I admit I still haven’t seen the fourth or fifth Ice Age movies in their entirety yet, but the first three were adequately entertaining. Nothing special, like Pixar. But nothing snarky and cynical, like Dreamworks. Also, I just realized I typed “the fourth and fifth Ice Age movies.” Why are there so many of them?!
The Ice Age Adventures of Buck Wild is the first Ice Age film since Disney bought 20th Century Fox and dissolved Blue Sky Studios (the animation studio behind the Ice Age films). So the animation was outsourced here, and boy does it show! This movie looks more like the kind of straight-to-DVD CG you would see in the early 2000s, not the latest installment of a multi-billion dollar (really) movie franchise. And aside from Simon Pegg returning as Buck Wild himself, all of the original cast has been replaced, and you can hear the difference right away. It also doesn’t have much in the way of story (but then again, none of the Ice Age sequels did). Perhaps worst of all, despite being named after Buck Wild – who was introduced in the third Ice Age movie and was probably my favorite character in the series – the film seems to focus more of its time on returning Ice Age characters Crash and Eddie. So why even make a spinoff movie about Buck Wild if it isn’t even really about him?
Also mysteriously missing is Scrat the saber-toothed squirrel, whose side antics to get/store an acorn were often more entertaining than the main stories of the Ice Age features. Apparently there was some legal trouble involving that character, and Disney couldn’t get ahold of him during the Fox acquisition or something. How weird is that?
One good thing I can say about The Ice Age Adventures of Buck Wild is that Simon Pegg’s voice acting is great. He’s one of the few mainstream actors who is willing to make his voice unrecognizable when doing voice over work (Benedict Cumberbatch is the other one that immediately comes to mind). Lest we forget Simon Pegg was Unkar Plutt (the “One Quarter Portion Guy”) from The Force Awakens and the SkekSis Chamberlain in the aforementioned Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance.
I do have to ask, why is the movie called The Ice Age Adventures of Buck Wild? After twenty years and six movies they suddenly decide to add a “the” to the franchise title?
Let’s wrap this up with the usual awards. Though because I’ve already rambled way more than I intended to when I started writing this, let’s keep things short.
Best Movie I Watched All Month: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
I suppose the fact that I watched every Harry Potter film this past month and am naming Prisoner of Azkaban as the best movie I watched this past month, I just gave away the ending of my eventual Harry Potter movie ranking. Oh well.
While a few of the Harry Potter movies are great, Prisoner of Azkaban is the one I’ve always thought was a great film full-stop. Harry Potter fan or not.
Azkaban is more mature than the first two installments, but still retains their sense of magic and wonder (something the later Harry Potter stories somewhat lost, as they focused more on how evil Voldemort is than they did the magic of the world of these stories). It’s the entry that best focuses on Harry, Hermione and (to a lesser extent) Ron develop as characters. It also gives us a kind of standalone story that can be appreciated on its own merits outside of the overall series more so than the other entries. And it introduces us to at least two of the best characters in the series in the forms of Sirius Black (Gary Oldman) and Remus Lupin (David Thewlis). It’s also uniquely the only Harry Potter story in which the main villain isn’t Voldemort, but one of his minions, Peter Pettigrew (Timothy Spall), a baddie who sadly seems largely forgotten about in later installments.
Prisoner of Azkaban is also the most visually captivating Potter movie, with lots of saturated lighting in the daytime sequences, and an eerie fogginess at night. It reminds me of a Team Ico game in a way. Azkaban feels more subdued than past and future Harry Potter movies visually, but somehow that brings out the magic of the series all the more. The whole movie has a kind of dreamlike quality about it. I can’t really explain it.
Sure, the time travel aspect is a little wonky, but it’s one of those “small price to pay” kind of things with how great of a movie Prisoner of Azkaban is on the whole. This is to Harry Potter what Spider-Man 2 is to Marvel in that it’s a great movie even without taking the franchise into consideration. It’s the movie lover’s Harry Potter.
But let’s save some of the gushing for when I actually review and/or rank the Harry Potter movies.
Worst Movie I Watched All Month: The Ice Age Adventures of Buck Wild
This was actually a toss-up between Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindlewald (which I initially thought was guaranteed this “honor”), Wild Wild West and The Ice Age Adventures of Buck Wild (or TIAAOBW, for short). Grindlewald almost singlehandedly halted the Harry Potter spinoff franchise, but I suppose it has some merit, and with three sequels still to come, the series may be able to salvage itself. Wild Wild West is a bad movie, but again, it’s dumb fun. It’s hard to pick on something too much when it knows exactly how dumb it is.
But in the case of The Ice Age Adv… you know, let’s just call it Buck Wild.
In the case of Buck Wild, it felt like it took a series that has already overstayed its welcome, and stripped it of the few things fans of the series had left to enjoy (animation quality, the voice acting, Scrat, etc.). Outside of Simon Pegg’s vocal work, this is bottom of the barrel, cash-grab animation. If you have a Disney+ subscription, watch any of the countless infinitely better animated offerings on the service instead.
Best Movie I Watched for the First Time this Month: Harry Potter 20th Anniversary: Return to Hogwarts
“Mrs. Puff…I think I cheated.”
Does this count as a movie? A documentary? I never know with these kinds of specials. So my claiming that Harry Potter 20th Anniversary: Return to Hogwarts is the best movie I watched for the first time this month may be a bit dubious. But whatever, I greatly enjoyed it.
If you’re a Harry Potter fan, I think this is a must watch. Even if you’re not totally engrossed in the franchise but have an interest in pop culture phenomenons, I also think this is a must watch. It’s a detailed look back at one of cinema’s (and literature’s) most successful franchises, gives insight into the series and the making of it. And thankfully, the special’s feature length runtime means it gives plenty of attention to each individual installment in the series.
It’s a very insightful, fun special. I’m not even sorry that I’m cheating by selecting it.
The Guilty Pleasure Award: Hook
Hook could have, and should have, been a better movie than it is. But it’s still better than its critics say. It’s a good time that may lose its magic as it goes, but it’s still a fun movie.
Most importantly, the music is sublime!
That’s all folks!
What did I say at the beginning of this? “I’m going to try to keep this as short and simple as possible?” Well, mission failed there!
I don’t know why these keep ending up being so long. I have so many other things to write, I need to start focusing on those instead. I still haven’t reviewed Luca, The Mitchells vs. The Machines, Ron’s Gone Wrong or Encanto. And let’s not even get into all the video games I’ve been meaning to review…
So, let’s see this as the last My Month in Movies for a while. I enjoy writing these, but they’re taking away too much of my writing time that I should be spending elsewhere. So until I catch up a little bit on all of those other things, let’s put My Month in Movies on hold for a while.
At any rate, I hope you had some fun reading all this. I also hope you found any of it even the slightest bit interesting. And most importantly, I hope you’re having a good and happy 2022 so far.
Before we get into anything else: Merry Christmas! Happy Hannukah! Happy Kwanzaa! Merry Festivus! Happy Life Day! Happy Rusev Day! Happy/Merry everybody!
Whatever holiday(s) you celebrate, I hope you have a great one filled with happiness, joy, and lots of good food!
Happy holidays to all!
With all the holiday greetings and well wishes out of the way, Christmas Day also marks the anniversary of when I launched Wizard Dojo (well, when I first posted content to it, which is what I would say actually constitutes the launch of something). It’s a double celebration here at the Dojo!
Being both Christmas Day and the anniversary of this site, it’s time once again for the annual Wizard Dojo Christmas Special! Because Wizard Dojo is actually just one long, elaborate Christmas movie in disguise… like Die Hard!
So without further ado, let’s get on with this Christmas Special!
Chapter 1: Ranking the Spider-Man Films
There have been no less than nine theatrically released Spider-Man films ever since Spidey’s first big screen outing back in 2002. I figured now is as good of a time as any to rank all of the Spider-Man features. After all, Spider-Man is kind of like Christmas when you think about it: Spidey wears a red suit, like Santa Claus. The way he swings around New York is kind of/sort of like how Santa flies around on his sleigh on Christmas Eve. And the way Peter Parker builds his web shooters is kind of like how Santa’s elves build the toys…
Okay, it’s not like Christmas at all (unlike Die Hard). But the newest Spider-Man movie, No Way Home, came out recently, and the festive atmosphere of Christmas has me feeling celebratory, so why not?
Oh, and keep in mind that I’m just counting the Spider-Man movies themselves here, and not the Avengers movies in which Spider-Man appears, or Spider-Man adjacent movies like Venom.
With that out of the way, here’s my ranking of the Spider-Man movies!
9: The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014)
That “Amazing” in the title is more than a little ironic, as The Amazing Spider-Man 2 is regularly cited as the weakest Spider-Man movie (as it is here). It’s doubly ironic in that the original ‘Spider-Man 2’ was already amazing.
The second and ultimately final iteration of the Andrew Garfield-starring Spider-Man films, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 perhaps has more merit than it gets credit for (it’s certainly better than some other Marvel movies, like Eternals or the later X-Men films). But it does ultimately succumb to its desire of wanting to be everything.
Not satisfied with simply being a Spider-Man sequel, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 wanted to kickstart its own Cinematic Universe to compete with what Marvel had accomplished with the MCU (remember that Spidey was still strictly under Sony’s control at this time). So what we get is a movie that’s trying to tell its own story while simultaneously setting up an entire series of sequels all at once.
You thought Spider-Man 3 was overstuffed with three villains? The Amazing Spider-Man 2 not only packs on the villains, but also hints at others, tries setting up potential sequels and spinoffs for them (there were plans for a Sinister Six movie, among others), and features a lingering mystery involving the fate of Peter Parker’s parents (which remains unsolved). All this while still trying to give Peter Parker a meaningful character arc involving his girlfriend, Gwen Stacey (Emma Stone).
It’s just too much, and the film crumbles under all that weight. Sony got greedy and sacrificed their Spider-Man sequel just to play catch up with Marvel. But Marvel took its time setting up its shared universe of characters, they started with standalone movies (something I wish they’d go back to) before they brought their characters together. By fast-tracking their planned Cinematic Universe, Sony killed it before it even began. It’s a shame, because the Amazing Spider-Man series had potential.
At the very least, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 gave us a Russian Paul Giamatti inside of a robotic rhinoceros. That’s something to be grateful for.
8: The Amazing Spider-Man (2012)
The Amazing Spider-Man is actually a technically well-made movie. So why do I rank it so low on this list? Because its technical polish doesn’t translate to its creativity. The Amazing Spider-Man served as a good launching pad for a reboot to the series (though we know how it ultimately ended up. See above), but it does so by simply going through the motions.
Released ten years after the original Spider-Man (which was Spider-Man’s origin story), and five years after Spider-Man 3 (which heavily focused on part of Spider-Man’s origin story due to an annoying retcon). Audiences just didn’t want to sit through Spider-Man’s origin story again. Give Uncle Ben a break, will ya?
This is the film that introduced us to Andrew Garfield’s Peter Parker, and to be fair, he’s great in the role (he looks more the part than Tobey Maguire and is less annoying than Tom Holland’s Peter Parker). And it’s his performance, and his chemistry with Emma Stone, that most separates this film from what came before it (that, and I suppose the fact that its villain is a lizard-man). But the film’s darker and more gritty tone haven’t aged as well as the more colorful Sam Raimi-directed films. The fact that Spider-Man was rebooted yet again (and added into the biggest movie franchise in history in the process) five years later, leaving its lingering plot threads to drift in limbo, also hasn’t helped The Amazing Spider-Man stand the test of time.
It’s a shame, because I actually really liked The Amazing Spider-Man when I first saw it. Perhaps if it hadn’t felt the need to show us Spider-Man’s origin story in detail after the 2002 film already did it so well, it may have been able to build more of an identity of its own.
7: Spider-Man 3 (2007)
It pains me to rank one of the Sam Raimi films this low on the list. But Spider-Man 3 was the first instance of the series feeling the need to include as many villains as humanly possible at the expense of storytelling coherence. Spider-Man 3 was such a downgrade in quality that it resulted in the end of Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man series, and “Spider-Man 4” never saw the light of day.
To be fair, it was Sony who forced Raimi’s hand to include Venom into the movie, resulting in one villain too many. Harry Osborne had already been set up to take over his father’s mantle of the Green Goblin in Spider-Man 2, and Raimi wanted the Sandman, as he liked the idea of a small-time crook being turned into the main villain, as well as believing he’d be impressive visually. But Sony wanted Venom, so we got him too.
On the subject of fairness, Raimi’s hands weren’t entirely clean, either. It was his decision that Sandman should be revealed as Uncle Ben’s real killer, even though that whole story seemed nicely wrapped up in the first movie. And you know you’re in trouble whenever a movie retcons something like that (“that guy wasn’t the real killer, thisguy is!”). Though once again, in the spirit of fairness, at least Raimi only did so because he wanted the film to be themed around forgiveness. I just wish he’d had found a better means to do so.
Suffice to say, the film is a bit cluttered. It has too many elements in too many places. If even just one of them had been cut (let’s just say, oh I don’t know, Venom, for instance), perhaps Spider-Man 3 could have found a better focus and been a better movie.
There was once a time when I’d tell you that Spider-Man 3 was one of my most hated movies. Though a few years ago, when I watched it again for the first time since it was in theaters, I realized it isn’t that bad. I mean, Spider-Man 3 can’t hold a candle to its two predecessors, and I think the massive downgrade in quality from Spider-Man 2 may have been why I was extra critical of it initially. But it still has its good points.
Though it doesn’t resonate nearly as strongly as the first two films, Spider-Man 3 still has something of a beating heart to it. Sam Raimi and company still tried to give the film meaning. As messy as the end result may have been, that’s still something more than I can say about most superhero movies that have been released since. Spider-Man 3 actually had something to it (albeit it often got lost in the shuffle) and wasn’t just about hyping the next string of movies in the Marvel pipeline.
A bit of a mess. But its own mess.
6: Spider-Man: Far From Home(2019)
Spider-Man: Far From Home was the second Spider-Man film set in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and the third Spider-Man film released in as many years (following its predecessor in 2017 and the animated Into the Spider-Verse in 2018). You would think Far From Home would have suffered a bit from Spider-Fatigue, but for the most part, it’s still a solid entry in the series. It featured a decently fun villain in Mysterio, took the action out of New York and into various locations in Europe, and had some good action scenes. Far From Home was fun, if maybe not groundbreaking. In other words, it sure was an MCU feature.
Still, there are some things holding Far From Home back from reaching the same heights as other Spider-Man films. Notably, with the film being the first MCU feature released after Avengers: Endgame, you would think that Far from Home would respectfully acknowledge the events of Infinity War and Endgame, given the gravity of – oh, I don’t know – Thanos wiping out half of all life in the universe for five years before the Avengers travelled through time to bring everyone back! But you’d be wrong.
Instead, Far From Home plays up the whole thing as one big punchline. Aunt May laughs off the fact that while she disappeared from existence for five years, someone else was living in her apartment. A kid in Peter’s school also jokes that his younger brother became his older brother during the time he was snapped away by Thanos. Maybe a few jokes about it would be fine, but Far From Home seems to exclusively reference the drama of Endgame as a joke. Considering Endgame was the culmination of everything in the MCU up to that point, and Far From Home was the first MCU film released afterwards, its utter disregard towards Endgame basically devalues the entire MCU franchise. It’s like a big middle finger to anyone who invested in the series. And sadly, this element of writing off the past seems to have become a common trait in the MCU since.
At least the sacrifice of Tony Stark is made important! Because of course it is. Tony Stark was all over Spider-Man: Homecoming, just to hit home the fact that Spider-Man was in the MCU now. So Far From Home is sure to let everyone know how impactful the loss of Tony Stark was, to the point that Peter Parker never even brings up Uncle Ben! Uncle Ben wasn’t Tony Stark, why should he be remembered? But Spidey still manages to snag plenty of new gadgets from Stark Industries in Far From Home. Because Tony Stark!
Okay, I won’t keep going on. Simply put, the film’s overemphasis on pointing out that it takes place in the MCU at the expense of Spider-Man’s own mythology, while simultaneously treating the MCU’s history as a joke, is a bit of a problem. But if you can dig past that, Spider-Man: Far From Home does deliver an entertaining movie.
5: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Five years after the Andrew Garfield era started (and only three years after The Amazing Spider-Man 2), the Spider-Man franchise was rebooted yet again! This time, Sony and Marvel worked out their differences (they would have more later, and work them out again), meaning that Spider-Man could now join the MCU! Sony’s planned Spider-Man universe didn’t pan out, so I guess it’s a case of “if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.”
The good news is that Marvel knew no one wanted to see Spider-Man’s origin story again, so they skipped it entirely, and introduced this newest version of Spider-Man in a previous film (Captain America: Civil War) for good measure. So for once, we could just get right into things.
The bad news is that Marvel and Sony were way too excited to let people know that Spider-Man was now in the MCU, with Tony Stark being all over Homecoming (I can’t remember a single advertisement that didn’t put Iron Man front and center). And sadly, Marvel and Sony seemed to think that “skipping” Spider-Man’s origin story meant ignoring it outright. Uncle Ben’s death is still (supposedly) a pinnacle moment in the life of the MCU’s Peter Parker, but you’d never know it from watching Homecoming. Who has time to remember a lost loved one when Tony Stark’s in town?! Yahoo! MCU!
Okay, I’m sorry. Spider-Man: Homecoming is a good movie. But I do think sacrificing Spider-Man’s own mythology for the sake of the MCU is a big problem in the Tom Holland-era Spider-Man films, and not one that grew bigger over time. It was there right out the gate with Homecoming. Still, I guess being overly enthusiastic about being in the MCU is better than an MCU movie making fun of the MCU (like Far From Home).
Other than the film’s obsession with reminding audiences that Spider-Man is now a part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Homecoming has a lot to love about it. While Tom Holland’s Peter Parker can be pretty annoying at times, the actor definitely looks the part, and makes for a fun Spider-Man. The action scenes are, once again, very exciting. And perhaps most notably, Spider-Man: Homecoming gives us one of the few MCU villains who could be described as ‘interesting.’
Adrian Toomes, AKA ‘The Vulture,’ wonderfully portrayed by Michael Keaton, seemed to have taken inspiration from the Raimi-era villains. A hardworking man who (rightfully) has a grudge after his salvage company are sent out of business by the government and (*sigh*) Tony Stark. Michael Keaton plays Toomes as a likable, blue-collar man just trying to set things right the only way he feels he can. That’s the kind of villain the MCU could certainly use more of. I’m getting pretty tired of evil rich guys who have the same powers as the hero…
Spider-Man: Homecoming may not be perfect, but it remains one of the MCU’s most fun and lighthearted installments. And everyone loves Michael Keaton.
4: Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021)
Okay, there may be a recency bias here seeing as this movie was just released. Or it could even be a nostalgic bias, seeing as this film brings back so many faces from Spidey’s cinematic past. Whatever the case may be, I’m ranking No Way Home above Homecoming for the time being. I guess we’ll see how I feel they compare later.
The good: It’s magic just to see Alfred Molina Doc Ock and Willem Dafoe Green Goblin again. Lots of great action scenes. A few good emotional bits. A truckload of fanservice for the MCU, the Amazing Spider-Man films and the Sam Raimi trilogy.
The bad: The film makes too many cynical jokes at the expense of past Spider-Man films. Dr. Strange fills the role of “overbearing Avengers presence” left over by Tony Stark. The classic villains are made out to be easy pickings for MCU Spidey and Dr. Strange unless they team up. J. Jonah Jameson has been turned into a one-note villain. Mr. Ditkovitch didn’t make a return appearance.
A very fun movie fueled by fanservice and nostalgia, if maybe not the most heartfelt Spider-Man film.
3: Spider-Man (2002)
Nearly every list that ranks a particular franchise has that point where the quality of work within that franchise ramps up considerably. For this list, this is that moment.
The original 2002 Spider-Man feature is still a treat. Although X-Men beat it to theaters by two years, it’s Spider-Man that created the blueprint for the entire superhero genre. It may be easy to forget in this day and age, when the all-encompassing MCU seems to grow bigger and bigger, swallowing other franchises in its wake. But back in 2002, Spider-Man – and Spider-Man alone – was a huge deal. No Cinematic Universe required.
Spider-Man made superheroes mainstream. It was the first film to make over one-hundred million dollars on its opening weekend, and it became a talking point not just for comic book nerds, but people who had never read a comic book in their life. Kids and adults alike ate it up.
Perhaps Spider-Man’s initial success and continuing legacy can be attributed to how Sam Raimi gave the film a heart. This wasn’t simply an origin story where the hero gets his powers (though it is that too), but also a story about love, loss, and responsibility.
Tobey Maguire made his version of Peter Parker a loveable dweeb: goofy, awkward, somewhat naive. Later Peter Parkers Andrew Garfield and Tom Holland seemed to be cast to turn the character into something of a heartthrob. But Tobey Maguire’s version is nerd incarnate, giving him a more underdog quality.
To compliment the film’s relatable hero, we were given a sympathetic villain in Norman Osborne (Willem Dafoe), whose descent into the Green Goblin is equal parts tragic and terrifying. He’s the father of Peter’s best friend, and even becomes something of a father figure to Peter, as well. But a desperate attempt to save his company by rushing an experiment – using himself as a test subject – results in his personality being split a la Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Norman Osborne remains, but the evil Goblin can take over at any moment. Willem Dafoe plays the double role with a brilliance similar to what Andy Serkis would give Gollum a few months later in The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers.
In what is perhaps the best bonus possible, Spider-Man even gave us the greatest comic relief in superhero movie history in J. Jonah Jameson. The bombastic newspaperman was brought to life so flawlessly by J.K. Simmons that Marvel had to bring him back for the role in the MCU, because they knew no one else could match his performance.
We may all laugh at Spider-Man’s origin story by this point, but the 2002 film got it so right. Peter Parker gains his superhuman abilities after being bitten by a genetically enhanced spider, and at first uses his newfound abilities to win some money and impress the girl next door, Mary-Jane Watson (Kirsten Dunst). But a petty money squabble leads Peter Parker to let a crook get away, a crook who later shoots Uncle Ben (before Spider-Man 3 retconned the shooter, anyway). Peter holds Uncle Ben’s hand as he passes. No overly long, dramatic speech is necessary. Uncle Ben (memorably played by the late Cliff Robertson) simply shows joy that he can look at a loved one before he passes. With his uncle’s teaching of “with great power comes great responsibility” resonating in his heart, Peter Parker decides to use his powers for the sake of others.
It’s beautifully told, and the emotion is earnest in a way that seems lost on the MCU.
Sure, 2002’s Spider-Man has its share of cheesy moments: the upside-down kiss, Green Goblin’s costume, the wrestling scene… But if anything, those cheesy moments only add to that aforementioned earnestness. Spider-Man is telling the story it needs to tell, and if that entails some awkwardness, then so be it. Personally, I find the cheesiness of the Sam Raimi films to be much less eye-rolling than the forced “applaud here” moments of the MCU.
In 2002, no multiverses needed saving. No one was wiping out half of all life in the universe. There was just Peter Parker growing into Spider-Man fighting Norman Osborne, who had fallen into becoming the Green Goblin. And it was great.
Spider-Man may not be the highest ranked movie on this list. But y’know, it’s something of a classic itself.
2: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
“Inventive” may not be the word you’d use to describe the superhero movies of today, but it’s an apt term when describing Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse.
Boasting animation that looks like a comic book come to life and a story that plays with the Spider-Man mythology, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse was the surprise hit of 2018, becoming one of the most acclaimed superhero films of all time.
Into the Spider-Verse shifts the focus to Miles Morales, who becomes the Spider-Man of his world. When Kingpin activates a portal that starts bringing in people from different universes, Miles has to team up with various other Spider-People from across the multiverse to save the day. Miles’ team includes an out-of-shape Peter Parker, Gwen Stacey from a world where her and Peter’s roles were reversed, a monochromatic Spider-Man out of film noir, an anime girl version of Peter Parker, and a cartoon pig.
The film is as fun and varied as its oddball lineup of characters, with its story unfolding – rather uniquely – from the perspective of its main characters, rather than letting the audience in on most of the details ahead of time. Though perhaps as a consequence of this, Kingpin himself – despite having a pretty good story to him – ends up getting a little shortchanged in the film.
In a time when every superhero movie under the sun seems hellbent on building up towards a string of other superhero movies down the road, Into the Spider-Verse was a breath of fresh air. Here was a new take on Spider-Man, no Cinematic Universe was needed. Into the Spider-Verse worked so well as a standalone movie, that I don’t know if its upcoming sequel, Across the Spider-Verse, can actually match it. The fact that the sequel includes a “Part 1” in the title is also a bit disappointing. I’m all for sequels, but it’s a shame that today’s sequels can’t just be their own movie anymore. They always have to hype up something else on the horizon. Being excited for Across the Spider-Verse isn’t enough these days. You have to be excited for the movies that come after it before it’s even released…
I guess we’ll see how that all ends up. But even if the sequels don’t live up to the original, Into the Spider-Verse will have still left us with one of the most original and definitive movies in the superhero genre.
1:Spider-Man 2 (2004)
Into the Spider-Verse may be the most original Spider-Man movie, but make no mistake about it, Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man 2 is still, quite simply, the best.
The Amazing Spider-Man took a nosedive with its second entry, and the MCU Spider-Man films can feel kind of interchangeable (the fact that No Way Homeneeded to bring back old faces to feel distinct is telling). But 2004’s Spider-Man 2 was a case of a sequel taking everything that was good about the first installment and improving on them in every way. It’s one of the best sequels of all time.
The emotion is better. The drama is better. The action is better. The humor is better. And with all due respect to the Green Goblin, even the villain is better.
With Peter Parker’s personal life suffering due to his duties as Spider-Man, he begins to wonder if the city still needs its web-slinging hero anymore. Meanwhile, Dr. Otto Octavius becomes Peter’s mentor, only to turn to a life of crime once a would-be revolutionary experiment ends in tragedy.
This is a key factor to Spider-Man 2’s enduring appeal: On one hand, it is about Spider-Man’s battles against Doctor Octopus. But even more so, it’s a movie about the inner struggles of Peter Parker and Otto Octavius. Even after all these years, it’s still the single most character-driven Marvel film. But if it’s superhero action you’re looking for, Spider-Man 2 has that covered as well, featuring a number of memorable action scenes, notably its iconic train sequence. Though that’s just one of many, many standout moments created by Spider-Man 2.
Tobey Maguire’s Peter Parker was a likable dweeb in the first movie, but here he becomes a true hero. And Alfred Molina’s Doc Ock – whose mechanical arms make him a perfect foil for Spider-Man – is a tragic, sympathetic villain with a depth that no Marvel movie since has been able to grasp. The supporting players all get their chance to shine as well, and add even more emotion to the film (the scene where Peter Parker tells Aunt May the events leading up to Uncle Ben’s death being another high point). Not to mention J.K. Simmons is at his best as Jameson.
It all comes down to the characters, really. Everything we loved about them the first time around is brought back in full force, with some great new additions as well. Doc Ock is the obvious newcomer, sure. But even characters like Mr. Ditkovitch – Peter Parker’s stingy landlord – leave an impression. And of course, we have the inspiring scene where the people of New York stand up to Doctor Octopus to defend Spider-Man (this was something of a theme in the Raimi era, with something similar happening in the first film as well. Perhaps not surprisingly, Spider-Man 3 lacked such a scene). Even the random citizens were important here in Spider-Man 2.
Yes, it’s true, Spider-Man 2 has its cheesy elements (though perhaps not to the same level as the first film). But again, I almost feel like they add to its appeal in retrospect. Spider-Man 2 is sincere and upfront, warts and all. It’s as genuine and heartfelt as any superhero movie ever made.
There have been many, many, many movies based on Marvel comics in the nearly eighteen years since its release, but not one of them has made me care as much as Spider-Man 2.
Simply the best.
Chapter 2: The Best of Wizard Dojo in 2021
2021 was not exactly the most productive year for Wizard Dojo. Although January got off to a decent start (I reviewed the entire Oddworld series… although a new entry was released a little while later and I still need to review that), things quickly fell silent. From February through May, I only wrote four posts (all movie reviews), with May being the first month in this site’s seven year history where I didn’t post anything whatsoever. And here we are, nearing the end of the year, and I’ve only reviewed nine videogames in all of 2021…five of which were the aforementioned Oddworld titles in January. I haven’t done right by video games this year, so I guess I should focus more of the Dojo on gaming in 2022. Catch up on the games I played but failed to review this year. Fingers crossed I can catch up to my backlogged game reviews.
With all this said, I still like to think I provided some quality content (by my standards) to Wizard Dojo this year. I certainly wrote about plenty of movies. So now, here’s some quick access to the best of what I wrote in 2021!
Video Game Reviews (might as well post them all here)
The Best of the Rest (Things I wrote that aren’t directly reviews)
The 1000th Blog! – In which I celebrate my 1,000 blog milestone here on Wizard Dojo*. Also includes my ranking of the Paper Mario series.
*Technically, I removed some old filler blogs a while back, and the 1,000th post was the 1,000th not including those removed. And I deleted a further few filler posts of old afterwards. So I guess technically it isn’t the 1,oooth blog anymore. But come on, I’m over 1,000 again. Just let me celebrate.I’ll try not to delete any more past content.
Super Smash Bros. Has Lost its Heart – In which I write about how the Super Smash Bros. series has betrayed what made it so fun and memorable in the first place, with its overemphasis on third-party characters, hype and pandering to eSports at the expense of its own identity.
And now we meet somewhere in the middle, because I posted two movie reviews on the tenth anniversary of their respective movies: Rango and The Adventures of Tintin. But now we’re getting back into review territory.
And perhaps my favorite thing I wrote this past year…
Whether you read any of these back when they were posted or not, I hope you have some fun reading them.
Chapter 3 & 4: My Months in Movies (November and December 2021)
Following suit with my previous ‘My Month in Movies’ post, I figured I’d write about what I watched during the last two months of 2021. Sure, December isn’t quite done yet, and I could still watch another movie or two before year’s end. But come on, it’s Christmas!
Because my last ‘My Month in Movies’ post ended up being so long, I will sadly keep things shorter here (seeing as I had other things to post on this Christmas blog). So here I’ll list the movies, and then go straight into the awards. Hopefully, I will get the opportunity to write about some of these movies in more detail sooner rather than later. As before, movies are listed in chronological order of when I watched them, and those with an asterisk are movies I watched for the very first time.
Now let’s get started!
My Month in Movies: November 2021
Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure
Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey
Ron’s Gone Wrong*
Home Sweet Home Alone*
Castle in the Sky
Die Hard 2
Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
Best Movie(s) I Watched All Month: Castle in the Sky and Die Hard
Alright, I’m going to cheat right out the gate and select two movies as the best I watched in November. My reason is simple: they both put up strong arguments to being the best live-action (Die Hard) and animated (Castle in the Sky) action movies of all time. So why not just celebrate both? Also, I know if I just picked Castle in the Sky, my best movies of every month so far would definitely show some favoritism (and having favorite directors or movies or anything is considered taboo these days for some reason).
Castle in the Sky, the first film released by Studio Ghibli (though the third feature directed by Hayao Miyazaki), is one of the most influential animated films ever made. Not only did it kickstart the world’s greatest animation studio, but it continues to influence movies, animation, television and video games to this day. Hell, with the exception of Star Wars, I’m having trouble thinking of a movie that has had as big of an influence on video games as Castle in the Sky. Everything from The Legend of Zelda (most overtly in Skyward Sword and Breath of the Wild), Skies of Arcadia, Secret of Mana and Final Fantasy have drawn from it. Even the storyline of Sonic & Knuckles was directly lifted from Castle in the Sky (as a bonus, Dr. Robotnik’s entire character design was largely based on a character from the film).
Even without its impact, Castle in the Sky is such an incredible film. It’s probably Miyazaki’s most straightforward tale, but it’s a perfectly structured adventure film brimming with the director’s unrivaled imagination. Two kids, Pazu and Sheeta, go on an adventure to find Laputa, the titular castle in the sky. A band of pirates, lead by the elderly yet energetic Dola (one of Miyazaki’s best characters), are also out to find the castle and its countless treasures. But a bigger threat looms in the form of the military, under the command of the mysterious Colonel Muska.
Again, it’s a simple adventure story, but flawlessly crafted, and the world it created has proven influential for a reason (the city of Laputa itself is perhaps second only to the bathhouse in Miyazaki’s own Spirited Away as the most indelible place in animation). The action set pieces utilize animation to send them over the top of what you would expect. They’re so exciting, in fact, that it’s a mystery Miyazaki never really tackled another full-on action-adventure film after this. A classic.
I feel like I don’t even need to introduce Die Hard. It’s one of the most iconic action movies of all time. It deserves mention alongside the likes of Terminator 2 and Mad Max: Fury Road as one of the greatest works of art in the genre (I would also add Speed to that running). And yes, it’s also one of the best Christmas movies of all time.
Taking place on Christmas Eve, New York police officer John McClane (Bruce Willis) is visiting Los Angeles to reconnect with his estranged wife. He visits her at her place of business, the Nakatomi Corporation. But things quickly go south when a band of terrorists, lead by Hans Gruber (the late, great Alan Rickman) take over the building. John McClane then has to figure out a way to use what resources he has to take out the bad guys one by one if he wants to save the hostages.
Again, a simple premise, but perfectly executed. Besides how well made and exciting the action sequences are, there are a few key areas that make Die Hard stand out from other action movies: One of them is John McClane himself, a much more human and vulnerable action hero. Released in the late 1980s, Die Hard purposefully made John McClane contrast the seemingly invincible heroes of the genre played by Schwarzenegger and Stallone that dominated the decade. Sure, John McClane still survives things he probably wouldn’t in real life, but just barely. Notably, he just happened to take his shoes off right before the terrorists showed up, so his feet end up in a bad, bloody way before the end of things.
There’s also Hans Gruber, debatably the best villain in any action movie. He has a charisma and cunning about him that make him so much more memorable than other villains in the genre. We can’t forget Officer Al Powell (Reginald VelJohnson), John’s only ally outside of the building, who has an interesting story of his own. Then there’s the Nakatomi building itself. Setting all of the action inside one location proved to be a stroke of genius, and gives the film a strong sense of place.
Die Hard’s 90s sequels are also exceptional action flicks (I still haven’t seen the 2007 and 2013 entries), though they lack a number of the qualities that make the original still feel so unique. Al Powell is reduced to a cameo in the second film, never appearing again thereafter. Hans Gruber was never topped in the villain department. The scope grew, at the expense of a singular, iconic location. And John McClane slowly became the indestructible action hero he once defied. They’re solid sequels, sure. But the original Die Hard is the action classic.
And also a Christmas classic.
Worst Movie I Watched All Month: Eternals
I already wrote a review for Eternals, so mercifully I don’t have to delve too deeply into this mess again.
Suffice to say, it’s the worst entry in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. No contest.
It’s a boring slog with a pessimistic attitude. It has an undeserved sense of self-importance. It conveniently retcons elements of the MCU’s world-building to try and make itself make sense. It’s… uhhh. Yeah.
Look, if you want to know more about why I don’t like it – and you don’t want to scroll all the way back up this wall of text for the last link – I’ll post the link again here.
On the plus side, Spider-Man: No Way Home seems to have brought audience attention right back to the MCU. So thankfully Eternals is already looking like a memory. A bad memory, but still.
Best Movie I Watched for the First Time This Month: Encanto (Ron’s Gone Wrong is a very close second)
One of my bad habits this year was seeing a number of great animated films and then not writing about them, such as Luca and The Mitchells Vs. the Machines. I have no idea why. On that subject, here are two other great animated films that were released this year that I still have yet to review: Disney’s Encanto and Ron’s Gone Wrong! Mayhaps I’ll catch up on these animated movie reviews before I start dedicating Wizard Dojo’s 2022 to video games.
Anyway, Encanto is yet another winner in Disney’s current hot streak of animation. Say what you want about Disney’s live-action output, but their animated films have never been better than they are now. I’d be ostracized from my generation for saying that. But with due respect to the ‘Disney Renaissance’ of the 90s, most of those movies were largely the same. The modern Disney era – whether you think it began with The Princess and the Frog in 2009, a year before that with Bolt, or the year after with Tangled – has provided an array of movies with a depth and variety that Disney has never seen before. It’s now also probably the longest hot streak in the studio’s history, so there’s that too.
Encanto tells a beautiful and heartfelt story about family, as Mirabel (Stephanie Beatriz), an ordinary girl in an extraordinary family, must figure out why her superpowered siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles and mother are losing their magical powers.
It’s beautifully animated and has a great selection of songs (which I almost hate to admit, given they were written by Lin-Manuel Miranda. But as Moana proved, Disney seems to be able to bring out a more creative side to him and it doesn’t all sound the same). A joy to the senses.
Bafflingly, Encanto was a box office disappointment. That breaks my heart. But now that the film is readily available on Disney+, hopefully it will find the audience it deserves.
Encanto is very worthy to hold the distinction of being Walt Disney Animation Studio’s 60th film.
While we’re here, let’s go ahead and give Ron’s Gone Wrong the “Pleasant Surprise of the Year” award. Seriously, “pleasant surprise” may be the best way to describe this movie. It was barely advertised, and those advertisements didn’t exactly look promising. I went to see it more out of curiosity than anything, but ended up seeing a sweet, emotional, wonderful movie.
Yes, it may look like a Big Hero 6 clone on the surface (but would that be so bad?), and its themes of an overreliance on technology and social media were already done relatively recently by The Mitchells Vs. the Machines. But Ron’s Gone Wrong has an identity of its own and ends up being a touching tale about friendship and loneliness.
Just writing about it now, I want to watch Ron’s Gone Wrong again. It’s currently available on both Disney+ and HBO Max. So if you have time for a movie, give this overlooked gem a watch. You’ll be glad you did.
Now seriously, why haven’t I reviewed these yet? I reviewed that piece of crap Eternals fast enough after I saw it, why not these actually great movies? There must be something wrong with me. Go ahead and call me ‘Scott’s Gone Wrong.’
The Guilty Pleasure Award: Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
I honestly had real trouble thinking about what would take my “Guilty Pleasure Award” for November, and not just because I didn’t watch any Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies. I really just don’t think I watched anything that fits that bill. I thought maybe the Bill & Ted movies – of which I hold the unpopular opinion that Bogus Journey is way better than Excellent Adventure – but no. I genuinely like them. I also thought about Home Sweet Home Alone, which I reviewed already and found to be mediocre and unmemorable, but harmless entertainment that was better than the other post-Macauley Culkin Home Alone movies.
In the end, I decided to go with Home Alone 2: Lost in New York. Even now, I don’t know if it really qualifies as a guilty pleasure. I find it to be thoroughly entertaining.
I decided to go with it for one specific reason: Home Alone 2 is basically Home Alone 1. It’s the very definition of a copy-and-paste sequel. However, if any sequel could get away with being so similar to the original, I suppose it would be Home Alone. It is, after all, just a story about a kid being left home alone on Christmas and outsmarting a duo of bumbling burglars. It isn’t exactly aiming for a deep, rich narrative. Sometimes, it’s okay to just have fun.
Home Alone 2 does have a couple of distinctions from its predecessor. The first difference is in its setting (It is called Lost in New York, after all), with Kevin McCallister now staying at the Plaza Hotel as opposed to his actual home. The second difference is that the film adds some secondary antagonists in the form of the hotel’s staff, with the concierge being played by Tim Curry (always a huge bonus).
Otherwise, Home Alone 2 is basically more of the same: the setup of Kevin being separated from his family. Kevin enjoying his time alone, before he inevitably begins to miss his family. Kevin is fearful of a local (this time it’s a Pidgeon Lady in the park), only to befriend them later. And he sets up a series of elaborate booby traps to defeat burglars Harry and Marv (Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern), who are also somehow in New York at the same exact time as Kevin ended up there by accident. But, as an added plus, the booby trap sequence here is longer and more brutal than the first movie, and is perhaps the best example of cartoon violence being done in live-action.
So yeah, Home Alone 2: Lost in New York may as well be called Home Alone Again: But in New York. But what it lacks in narrative creativity it makes up for in sheer entertainment. And I don’t really feel guilty about it.
My Month in Movies: December 2021
West Side Story (1961)*
My Neighbor Totoro
Being the Ricardos*
Spider-Man: No Way Home*
The Santa Clause
The Santa Clause 2
The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause
Jingle All the Way
It’s a Wonderful Life
Best Movie I Watched All Month: My Neighbor Totoro
December may have been my slowest month of movie watching since I started doing these ‘My Month in Movies’ things, but it wouldn’t have mattered how many movies I watched, the crown was guaranteed to go to Totoro.
I say that with the utmost respect to It’s a Wonderful Life – truly one of the best movies ever made -but if there’s one movie I can think of that’s even more life affirming than It’s a Wonderful Life, surely it’s My Neighbor Totoro.
Hayao Miyazaki’s quiet tale about childhood, nature and life really is a one of a kind film. Truthfully, Miyazaki could have retired after Totoro and he’d still be the greatest filmmaker in animation. The fact that he continued to create so many classics afterward is nothing short of inspiring. One of those subsequent films, Spirited Away, is Totoro’s only equal as my all-time favorite film, animated or otherwise.
My Neighbor Totoro is the story about two little girls, Satsuki and Mei, as they move to a new house to be close to their ailing mother, who is being treated at a hospital. But their new house comes with a surprise, as just beyond it rests a giant camphor tree, which is the home of Totoro. The girls soon discover the animal-like spirit, and have many adventures together.
Totoro was Miyazaki’s follow-up to Castle in the Sky, which may be the most overt display of the director’s versatility. Going from the spectacle and set pieces of Laputa into the ethereal beauty of Totoro was something else. And none of Miyazaki’s artistry was lost in the transition.
My Neighbor Totoro remains Miyazaki’s most iconic film, with its titular character becoming the face of Studio Ghibli (adorning the opening of every film from the studio thereafter). It’s been said that young children in Japan believe in Totoro in a similar way to how children believe in Santa Claus (something which Miyazaki’s colleague and mentor; the late, great Isao Takahata, claimed was Miyazaki’s greatest achievement). Its reputation couldn’t be more deserved. My Neighbor Totoro is the most gentle and sweet movie I’ve ever seen. A masterpiece.
And let’s give a special shoutout to It’s a Wonderful Life. Because, well, we’re talking about It’s a Wonderful Life here! Famed director Steven Spielberg recently revealed It’s a Wonderful Life to be his favorite movie, and I’m not about to argue that. It deserves all the praise it’s received over the decades. If you tell me you can watch It’s a Wonderful Life without getting choked up and misty-eyed, well then, you’re probably either lying or a robot.
Worst Movie I Watched All Month: The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause
Wow. Going from talking about My Neighbor Totoro and It’s a Wonderful Life to talking about The Santa Clause 3. Wow. Just… Wow.
1994’s The Santa Clause is actually one of my favorite Christmas movies. The tale of Scott Calvin (Tim Allen) becoming Santa after the former Father Christmas falls off his roof is unique in that it works as both a kids’ movie and a more complicated one for adults. It’s genuinely a really good Christmas movie.
The 2002 sequel, The Santa Clause 2, is definitely aimed more at youngsters. It doesn’t deal with the same complexities of adulthood as the original, but it works in its own way. It’s another guilty pleasure of mine (and would take that award for December, if not for another Christmas movie). And it’s got Tim Allen in a second role as a human-sized toy Santa who takes over the North Pole and becomes a dictator. So that’s fun.
But The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause. Ouch. You thought The Santa Clause 2 was juvenile? It looks like Breaking Bad compared to its successor!
The Santa Clause 3 is basically about Jack Frost (Martin Short) plotting to take over the North Pole, already recycling the second movie. Also, Santa and Mrs. Claus are expecting a baby, so Santa brings his in-laws to the North Pole to visit, claiming he works at a toy factory in Canada to keep his status as Santa Claus a secret (he claims the elves are small Canadians, as one does). It’s silly.
None of the more grown up elements of the original are intact, nor does the film feel the need to give children a fun, coherent story like the second movie. Instead we just kind of get a series of hyperactive things happening, and Martin Short running around in a funny costume saying things (admittedly some of which are funny: “Did you just call me skillful and delicious?”). Did I even get into the time travel aspect of it yet? Yeah, Jack Frost and Santa go back in time to the events of the first movie and change history, so kind of like a Back to the Future Part II thing (but that’s giving Santa Clause 3 way too much credit).
Still, at least I can laugh at The Santa Clause 3. That’s more than can be said of Eternals.
Best Movie I Watched for the First Time This Month: Being the Ricardos
I saw the original West Side Story for the first time this month (I still need to see the new Spielberg one), and it was good. I also saw Spider-Man: No Way Home, and it was good. Maybe it’s because I’m more used to superheroes and musicals than I am biopics, or maybe it’s because I wasn’t aware of this movie until some friends invited me to tag along with them to see it and thus I was pleasantly surprised, but I’m going to give this honor to Being the Ricardos for the time being.
Being the Ricardos is the latest in a long line of biopics to be released in recent years. I admit I’ve only seen a few of them, but I really enjoyed Saving Mr. Banks and The Founder. While Being the Ricardos isn’t quite as fun as those movies, I still found it to be a good time.
Ricardos focuses on the inner workings of the production of I Love Lucy, during a particularly turbulent week for the show’s filming (with some additional flashbacks stretching the scope of the film’s story). It has a stellar cast, with Nicole Kidman as Lucille Ball, Javier Bardem as Desi Arnaz, Nina Arianda as Vivian Vance, and my man J.K. Simmons as William Frawley. The cast may not necessarily look like the people they’re portraying (then again, Tom Hanks doesn’t look like Walt Disney, either), but the film has fun with transforming the actors to look more like the I Love Lucy cast in the moments in recreates scenes from the iconic show.
It’s got all the drama you would expect from a biopic, but of course a movie about I Love Lucy has to have some humor involved, and Being the Ricardos includes some genuinely funny bits. It may be a bit Oscar bait-y, but it’s thoroughly enjoyable all the same.
The film was simultaneously released in theaters and Amazon Prime, so I may have to watch this one again at home soon. I repeat, it’s got J.K. Simmons as William Frawley as Fred Mertz! Need I say more?
The Guilty Pleasure Award: Jingle All the Way
Is Jingle All the Way the best bad Christmas movie? I definitely think it makes a strong case.
The weirdly specific sub-genre of “take an action star and put them in a family comedy” was everywhere in the 90s, and even shows up today every now and again. I would say I don’t know why they keep trying, since there hasn’t been a good movie produced by the combination of action star and family comedy (that I can think of, anyway. Unless Last Action Hero counts). But then I remember how gloriously stupid Jingle All the Way is, and suddenly the genre makes sense.
Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger himself – the action star of the 80s and 90s – Jingle All the Way is a movie about a dad named Howard Langston trying to make up for his failings as a father by getting his son the toy of his dreams for Christmas. The problem is he forgot to get the hot-selling toy (a superhero named Turbo Man) ahead of time, and now that it’s Christmas Eve, it’s going to be impossible to find! It doesn’t help that he keeps running into a troublesome mailman named Myron (Sinbad) who’s after the same toy.
Using last minute Christmas shopping as the premise for a Christmas comedy actually isn’t a bad idea. It’s the kind of thing we’ve all been through, and that a movie could exaggerate for comedic effect. The problem (great thing?) is that Jingle All the Way exaggerates it so much, that the film ends up being completely bonkers.
Howard has to literally fight his way through a mall to get a raffle ball, gets tangled up with a group of Santa Claus conmen, and in one of the most ludicrous finales ever conceived by mankind, Howard becomes Turbo Man himself for a Christmas parade (complete with working jetpack), where he does battle against Myron, who dons the costume of Turbo Man’s nemesis. Oh yeah, all this while Harold’s pervy neighbor (the late Phil Hartman) keeps trying to put the moves of Harold’s wife. You know, kids’ movie stuff.
The movie is completely ridiculous. It’s dumb, goofy, and makes cosmic leaps in logic. Yet I find it impossible not to give Jingle All the Way at least one annual viewing towards Christmastime. It’s dumb fun. But the emphasis is on fun.
There are a number of good Christmas movies to watch around the holidays, but if you just want to have something you can have fun with and laugh at, Jingle All the Way has you covered.
I mean, how could you not be entertained by a movie that includes Arnold Schwarzenegger screaming the words “Put that cookie down! Now!”
Chapter 5: The Last One
I apologize that I once again have to cut my Christmas special short, chapter-wise (though the word count here is among my highest to date). Remember when I used to do eight chapters to these things? And that was not counting these ending parts which now are one of the numbered chapters. It’s kind of like how in Banjo-Kazooie, the final boss level was considered its own separate entity outside of the nine proper levels, but then Donkey Kong 64 and Banjo-Tooie included the final boss stage as part of their level count to try to hide the fact that they had less levels.
My point is that hopefully next year I can get started on my Christmas post earlier and do something extra special with it. I love Christmas. I made sure my site would celebrate its anniversary on Christmas Day for a reason (and not just because it would be easy to remember). So here’s hoping that I can eventually make these Christmas posts everything they should be.
At any rate, I hope you had a good time reading this. But more importantly, I hope you had a Merry Christmas, or happy Hannukah, or happy Kwanza! Happy everybody! Happy holidays to all!
I’ll see you in 2022… And by ‘see you’ I mean I’ll write some stuff here and maybe some people will stumble on it by sheer accident and decide to read it if they have nothing better to do.
Somehow, my October movie watching managed to surpass my September movie watching. So I figured a second edition of this “My Month in Movies” thing was in order. But I stress this again, don’t expect this to be a monthly thing. Only something I’ll do when I feel I’ve watched enough movies to warrant it, and if I have the interest. But I certainly had the interest this month!
I managed to watch twenty-five feature films throughout the month of Halloween, with the holiday itself inspiring me to watch a number of them as a means to get in the holiday spirit (I’m festive like that). And somehow, I still managed to find the time to rewatch the entirety of what is arguably the best television show of all time. I honestly don’t know how I managed to watch everything I did in October, but I guess a bit of insomnia freed up some of my usual sleep time, so that probably “helped.” Additionally, the only video games I put any time into during the month were Metroid Dread and Mario Party Superstars, the latter of which wasn’t released until the tail end of the month (but it was still released before Halloween, which is what Nintendo should have done with Luigi’s Mansion 3 a few years back. No, I still haven’t forgiven them for releasing Luigi’s Mansion 3 on the day of Halloween but constantly advertised it as being “just in time” for Halloween).
Anyway, my point being my free time this month was basically in watching, not playing. Which is another reason why I may skip writing another one of these next month (we’ll see). I’m so backlogged in my reviews and write-ups for video games, that I really should prioritize that aspect of my website for a while.
Why am I explaining all this to you? I have quite a few movies to talk about, so let’s get cracking at this.
Here is the full list of movies I watched in October 2021, in chronological order of when I watched them. Once again, movies I watched for the very first time are marked with asterisks.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze
The Maltese Falcon
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3
Venom: Let There be Carnage*
The Addams Family 2 (2021)*
No Time to Die*
North by Northwest*
The Adventures of Tintin
Jaws: The Revenge*
The Evil Dead*
Evil Dead 2*
Army of Darkness*
Howl’s Moving Castle
In addition to all these movies, I also watched all 180 episodes of Seinfeld, as well as the 50-minute Disney+ special, The Muppets Haunted Mansion, which was cute (Gotta love The Muppets).
So quite the eclectic lineup, I must say. While in September my overall “flavor of the month” seemed to be action movies, for the obvious reasons in October it seemed to be various forms of horror and suspense. But if that’s too obvious, let’s say the flavor of the month was Alfred Hitchcock, seeing as I watched no less than four films by the great director. And yes, I started things off by watching the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles trilogy again. What of it?
After Ninja Turtles, I rewatched The Maltese Falcon for the first time in a few years. A classic Humphrey Bogart film, and the first to pair him up with actors Peter Lorre and Sydney Greenstreet, the latter of which made his acting debut in The Maltese Falcon as the villain, Kasper Gutman, AKA “The Fat Man.” The Maltese Falcon is often considered the first film noire, but that’s debated. Either way, it’s a great piece of classic cinema.
Then I had the terrific opportunity to once again (more specifically, thrice again) see my all time favorite movie, Spirited Away, on the big screen. With Spirited Away’s limited re-releases in 2016 through 2019, as well as these three viewings and when I first saw it in 2003, this brings my overall theatrical viewings of Spirited Away to 14! That’s the third most I’ve seen a movie in theaters (or fourth, depending on how you view a tie), and if these re-releases keep up (please do), it will climb it’s way to the top in no time. It would be fitting, seeing as it is my favorite film.
You know, I’ve made it no secret that Spirited Away is my favorite movie (along with My Neighbor Totoro), and yet I still procrastinate on making my lists of favorite films (whether by decade, genre, overall, what have you). And I feel like I’m not alone there. It seems like a lot of people can point out their absolute favorite of something, but then when it comes to making some kind of concrete list, there’s some pressure with making it for some reason. You’d think knowing your favorite would make everything else fall into place. I don’t know, that’s just an observation.
Next up was Casablanca, one of the most acclaimed and beloved films of all time, and another that starred Bogart and featured Peter Lorre and Sydney Greenstreet. It also features one of the most famous misquotes in movie history (“Play it again, Sam!” is never actually uttered. Though Bogart’s character does tell a character named Sam to play a song on a piano, the words are never in that specific order). Another great classic.
After that I saw some recent movies in theaters. I’ve already reviewed Venom: Let There be Carnage and The Addams Family 2, so you can go ahead and read those if you want. But I also saw the newest James Bond film, and the last to star Daniel Craig: No Time to Die.
I mostly enjoyed No Time to Die. It featured some exhilarating action scenes, and it was a fitting, melancholic sendoff to Daniel Craig’s James Bond. With that said, I don’t think it was as good as Casino Royale, Skyfall or Spectre (I actually still haven’t seen Quantum of Solace). Despite doing most of what it did well, I don’t think No Time to Die did them as well as those aforementioned movies. But one thing that was a huge downgrade from the past few Bond films was the villain. The past two films featured Javier Bardem and Chrisoph Waltz as the villains (the latter as James Bond’s big bad, Ernst Stavro Blofeld, no less). The former was physically imposing, the latter was mentally intimidating. So when No Time to Die wheels out Rami Malek as the bad guy, he kind of falls flat. He just doesn’t have a villainous presence like his predecessors, and his character’s motives are murky, at best. Not to mention his defining physical trait is that he has bad skin. A lot of Bond villains have some hook to their appearance: Blofeld is usually bald and has a nasty scar across his face; Oddjob has his hat; Jaws has, well, a big metal jaw. But No Time to Die’s villain, Lyutsifer Safin, has bad skin… Yeah, not quite the same.
What’s really disappointing is that No Time to Die brings back Christoph Waltz as Blofeld, but just for a single scene cameo. He should have just been the villain again, really. Especially since this was Craig’s last Bond film, it would have made all the more sense for Blofeld to be the final villain, given the character’s history in the franchise. By making Blofeld the villain of the previous film and then ending this current James Bond series with a new villain, it actually makes the whole scenario feel less important. Why doesn’t Hollywood have any faith in the idea of returning villains anymore?
I really should just review No Time to Die. Maybe some day I’ll rewatch all of the Craig Bond films and give them all a write-up.
North by Northwest was the first Hitchcock film I watched in October, and was the only one of the four I watched during the month that I watched for the very first time. Even if you’ve never seen North by Northwest, if you’re familiar with iconic movie moments, you’re probably familiar with this one.
The fact that I watched North by Northwest right after a James Bond film was coincidental, but fitting, seeing as it greatly influenced the spy thriller genre, most notably James Bond. The twist here being that the main character isn’t actually a spy, but gets mistaken for one. This is another great Hitchcock film, but one that I feel has one major flaw: the ending is waaay too abrupt.
I know, I’ve committed cinematic blasphemy once again. But the film has such a great build and execution to just about every moment beforehand, and then it literally wraps up seconds, seconds, after the final confrontation with the bad guys. If a modern movie did the same thing, all people would ever talk about would be the abrupt ending. With classic Hollywood it’s the opposite, and we skirt over something like that and only highlight the good. Granted, I would prefer people be more positive and have the outlook that the good outweighs and overpowers the bad, but it does seem like film buffs have a bit of a double standard with these things.
Otherwise North by Northwest is another winner in Hitchcock’s belt. The film’s writer even mentioned that he wanted to make sure he wrote “The Hitchcock film to end all Hitchcock films” (which admittedly seems a bit odd. You’d think Alfred Hitchcock would be the only person in the film’s production who could rightfully make that call, really).
Next we have Dick Tracy from 1990. What a wild ride this movie is. Although its story and characters are very simplistic, what really makes Dick Tracy stand out is its utter commitment to style. While modern comic book movies try to make the worlds of the comics look “grounded” and “more realistic,” Dick Tracy had the complete opposite mentality. It wanted to make reality look like a comic book! Talk about being ahead of its time!
There’s so much color and style in Dick Tracy, that its imagery really sticks in the mind afterwards. Not to mention its wild parade of villains, with pretty much all of them hiding under heaps of prosthetic makeup. You have guys with tiny faces, guys with no faces, and guys with prune faces!
Dick Tracy kind of reminds me a lot of The Rocketeer (1991), which I guess is fitting, seeing as both films were attempts by Disney to create their own Indiana Jones-esque franchise. The key difference between the two is that Rocketeer was released under Disney itself, while the (relatively) more mature Dick Tracy was released under Disney’s now-defunct Touchstone brand (which, despite popular misconception, was just a brand name Disney used for more mature movies, and not a separate studio). Both should be ranked among Disney’s best live-action films.
I also reviewed The Adventures of Tintin already. And Fun Fact: I posted that review on the tenth anniversary of the film’s original release in Belgium (which is appropriately where the film was released first). Again, I’m festive.
After that, I watched the Jaws movies. Or should I say I watched Jaws, a genuine classic of horror, suspense and action, and then proceeded to watch three fanfictions that somehow got turned into feature films?
Okay, so in all fairness, Jaws 2 isn’t so bad, it’s just that it really had no hope to live up to the original. Jaws 3 is pretty darn bad though, but it actually got off a little easy over time because Jaws: The Revenge is so bad that it became the one everyone talks about in hate and disgust to this day.
At any rate, I don’t think anyone would blame me that I’ve seen the original Jaws many times over the years, but only just now watched the sequels for the first time. The first Jaws is an all-time classic, and the film that made Steven Spielberg Steven Spielberg. It was the first-ever Summer blockbuster, and it still has to be one of the best.
Steven Spielberg’s films are rarely complex, but they’re so well done at everything they do that he makes them unforgettable. Jaws really is a simple horror movie at heart, but it’s surely one of the best ones. It really helps give the film some emotional weight that Spielberg made the three main characters into complex figures, and that each of the shark’s victims aren’t simply treated like mere “movie kills,” but are made appropriately tragic (two concepts that seem lost on most horror movies). And the shark (which is its name, not “Jaws” like the James Bond villain, just “The Shark”) is one of the great movie villains. A mostly unseen presence of terror and death, defined by its theme music.
Jaws really hasn’t aged a day. In fact, in some respects, it may resonate even stronger today in many ways. A deadly problem arises that could be resolved if a few simple rules are followed, but some selfish, greedy, stupid people blatantly ignore those rules and make the problem worse. Why does that sound so familiar?
It’s definitely worth mentioning that Spielberg had no hand in any of the Jaws sequels. Though to their credit, I suppose the Jaws sequels produced two of the most famous/parodied taglines in movie history. Surely you’ve heard some variation of “Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water” (Jaws 2) and “This time, it’s personal” (Jaws: The Revenge).
After Jaws I went into even more horror territory with the Evil Dead trilogy by Sam Raimi. The first Evil Dead is a straight-up horror movie. A low budget affair that sees the now iconic Ash Williams character (Bruce Campbell) survive a haunted cabin as his friends are possessed by demons one by one.
Evil Dead 2 is probably the best movie of the trilogy, and combines the horror with comedy. Interestingly, it’s as much a remake as it is a sequel, with its first ten or so minutes retelling the events of the first film while omitting most of the characters from the original (save for Ash and his girlfriend) and retconning the ending. And then many of the events of the first movie that involved the characters left out of the sequel are redone with different characters and situations in part 2. It’s an interesting take on a sequel, to say the least. I admit I have some mixed feelings about how it wipes away certain elements of its predecessor (effectively making the original movie a half-canon prologue), but Evil Dead 2 really does outdo the first film in basically every way otherwise. Plus, this is the one where Ash gets his chainsaw hand.
The third film of the trilogy, Army of Darkness, is relatively less acclaimed, but kind of brilliant in its own way. Although it’s still classified as a horror movie, it feels more like a total change of genre, doubling down on the cartoonish comedy of the second entry and placing the action in a swords and sorcery setting (okay, chainsaws and sorcery). That’s right, Ash goes back in time to medieval days and battles an army of skeletons. You have to respect a sequel that’s willing to be so different to what came before. It’s one of the most bonkers sequels ever.
We go back to modern releases with Dune, the latest cinematic interpretation of Frank Herbert’s influential sci-fi epic. Like No Time to Die, maybe I’ll write a full review of this in the near future, but I have to say I wasn’t won over by it. I feel like Dune is one of those things where you really, really have to love sci-fi to get into it. I don’t know, it feels like one of those sci-fi stories that’s more about the situation and politics of its world than it is about story and characters. I find it really difficult to get into that kind of thing. And when turned into a movie it kind of works against itself. It’s basically watching a movie where people are constantly explaining things, but you don’t really feel for any of it. The new Dune movie takes its sweet time with so many things, but little of it goes into making you care about who the characters are. And I found the constant presence of big name celebrities to be more distracting than anything (a guy takes off his mask to reveal, dun dun dun, it’s Javier Bardem!).
I will say, the film is a spectacle, sometimes an effective one. And I think Bootstrap Baron Harkonnen is a good bad guy. A big, floating fat guy. Now that’s a villain! More villains need to be big, floating fat guys.
Back to Hitchcock with Psycho and Rear Window.
Psycho is probably Hitchcock’s most widely known film, and one of my favorites. The first half is more of a suspenseful movie, as a young woman steals forty-thousand dollars and runs off to start a new life with her boyfriend, only for it to switch into a horror film once she stops at the Bates Motel on her way to reunite with said boyfriend. The switch occurs, of course, in the infamous shower scene, which has to be the most famous “movie kill” in any horror movie. It also has to be the biggest switcheroo of a movie plot, and Alfred Hitchcock went to great lengths to ensure theaters wouldn’t permit anyone into the movie after it had already started, as to avoid spoiling the surprise. Wouldn’t that be cool if such a thing could still happen today? A classic.
Rear Window is less horror, but more suspense. The Entire movie takes place in a single location, but you really forget about that fact when watching it because it’s so engrossing. Rear Window is, of course, the movie where James Stewart plays a photographer (L.B. “Jeff” Jeffries), who has a broken leg which is keeping him stuck in his apartment. So he takes on the hobby of peeping at his neighbors to pass the time (yikes!), but suddenly his pastime has some importance, as he realizes one of his neighbors has murdered their wife in the middle of the night. Another very effective thriller by Hitchcock.
Along with Spirited Away, Hayao Miyazaki’s Howl’s Moving Castle was also given another limited re-release in theaters (though I only saw Howl once this time around). I’ve stated in the past that Howl’s Moving Castle is the only Miyazaki film that’s notably “weaker” than the rest of the great director’s works, but that really is a very relative complaint. Howl’s Moving Castle still is a magical, imaginative movie with memorable characters. I got very nostalgic watching Howl this time around, with memories of seeing it in theaters when it was first released in the US sixteen years ago (geez, how has it been that long? How?). The screening of Howl’s Moving Castle even featured a showing of On Your Mark, the only music video directed by Miyazaki.
Going back to Hitchcock yet again, I watched The Birds, probably the most famous post-Psycho Hitchcock film (unless I’m forgetting the ordering of his movies, which is possible because he directed a ton of them). Another great horror movie. You could even make the argument that The Birds is a zombie movie, even though there’s no actual zombies, just (quite living) birds. But the way the movie plays out certainly feels like a zombie movie.
The Birds tells the story of a young woman who, after an encounter with a man at a pet store, decides to purchase him some birds (it’s more complicated an encounter than it sounds, but we’ll save the details for another time). She buys a couple of lovebirds, and shortly after delivering them to the man’s family home in the middle of a fishing hamlet, all of the birds in the area – regardless of species – begin to attack people. The film has a nice slow burn, with about a full half hour going by before the first bird – a single seagull – attacks our heroine.
One of my favorite things about The Birds is its heavy use of uncertainty, which really adds to the horror element. There’s never a given reason why birds start violently attacking people. It’s implied to the audience (not the characters) the presence of the lovebirds is the cause. But that’s – quite wonderfully – an explanation that creates more questions than answers. Hitchcock didn’t want to give a detailed explanation for why the birds start going crazy, which I can’t imagine a movie like this would do these days. If there were a modern movie like this, it would no doubt have to explain away every last detail. But Hitchcock was wise enough to know that the uncertainty of it makes it all the scarier.
That uncertainty is also present in the birds’ attacks. In the film, birds just start gathering in large numbers, and will swarm and attack at seemingly random moments. To add even more uncertainty to the picture, The Birds doesn’t really have a traditional ending. It ends with the surviving characters quietly leaving town after another attack – with the lovebirds in tow(!!) – amidst a currently tame mass of birds.
I kind of like that The Birds doesn’t really have an ending. Some may say that’s hypocritical, given my complaints with North by Northwest’s ending. But the difference is I feel like the vague ending of The Birds fits with the kind of movie it is, whereas the ending to North by Northwest is so abrupt it feels out of place in a movie that otherwise takes its time.
Finally, the last movie I watched this month was Ghostbusters, the 1984 comedy that was one of the biggest hits of its decade, and still a comedy classic. It was followed by a disappointing sequel in 1989, and an even more disappointing and unnecessary reboot in 2016. Ghostbusters: Afterlife, a third film in the original series (finally) comes to theaters later this month. Here’s hoping that Afterlife ends up being the first worthy sequel to Ghostbusters (not counting the animated series The Real Ghostbusters or the 2009 Ghostbusters video game, both of which seem to have a mostly fond reception).
It’s kind of funny that Ghostbusters spawned such a big franchise, because it really wasn’t that kind of movie. It was a comedy starring SNL alumni that was based in Dan Akroyd’s interest in the paranormal. But the film was just so well made, from writing and dialogue to its special effects, and perhaps most importantly, it had an imaginative story that in turn captured the imaginations of audiences. Ghostbusters is one of those comedies that stops being “just” a comedy and is simply a great movie all around.
Also of note, Ghostbusters was the first “visual effects comedy.” Before Ghostbusters, comedies weren’t considered commercially viable enough for studios to spend the money required for big visual effects. In that regard, Ghostbusters opened the door for movies like Back to the Future and Who Framed Roger Rabbit. It’s just a shame that visual effects comedies are now basically extinct (can you think of a modern example of the sub-genre?).
Now I’m turning into a Ghostbusters history book. Point being, it’s a great movie, and one of my favorite comedies. But I guess I’ve rambled enough and we should be moving on. Let’s dish out some awards to the movies I watched in October!
Best Movie I Watched All Month: Spirited Away
Seeing as Spirited Away is my favorite movie, it’s guaranteed to be the best movie I watch in any month I watch it (if I watch it in the same month as My Neighbor Totoro, I guess it would be a tie between the two). With all due respect to the numerous great movies I watched this past month like Casablanca, The Maltese Falcon, Psycho, Ghostbusters and Jaws, Spirited Away of course wins the crown. Chihiro’s odyssey to save her parents in a world of spirits and monsters is unforgettable from beginning to end.
One of the funny things about having favorites of anything (movies, video games, TV shows, songs, etc.) is that after a while, you tend to only think of the “whole” of your favorites, and take for granted the little details that helped make them your favorites to begin with. And when you experience your favorite things again, every now and again you’re reminded of those little things.
Spirited Away is a beautiful, touching film. But something these recent viewings reminded me of is its sense of humor. There are so many funny little touches to Spirited Away: The witch Yubaba using her magic to repair the damage done to her office, only to manually straighten a lampshade. A bowl of rice melts into goo due to the stench of a Stink Spirit. There’s the famous scene with the soot sprites carrying coal to a furnace. Chihiro notices one such sprite struggling to carry his lump of coal, and takes it upon herself to carry it for him (struggling herself in the process). Afterwards, all the soot sprites purposefully drop their coal in hopes Chihiro will do their work for them.
As an added bonus, the English dub features a small role for John Ratzenberger (remember that the Pixar guys helped in the dubbing of Miyazaki’s films), and the actor delivers some terrifically funny adlibs (that also don’t detract from the spirit of the movie, importantly).
Spirited Away is my favorite film, so I’ll continue to talk about it whenever I can. But because these recent viewings really made me appreciate Spirited Away’s many humorous moments all over again (and reminded me the part they played in me loving the movie to begin with), I figured I’d highlight those here. Spirited Away is widely (and rightly) acknowledged as one of the greatest and most influential animated films, but its sense of humor doesn’t get talked about as much as many of its other aspects. It should be talked about more, because along with everything else, Spirited Away is also a very funny film.
The best movie.
Worst Movie I Watched All Month: Jaws: The Revenge
From the highest of highs to the lowest of lows…
Last month, I mentioned how Speed 2: Cruise Control is sometimes considered the worst sequel ever. While Speed 2 is a bad sequel, and sadly crushed any hopes for a Speed 3, it did have some merit. The same cannot be said of Jaws: The Revenge. Behold, the worst sequel of all time!
Well, I may have to double check that later. But considering how great the original Jaws was in relation to how truly, unspeakably awful Jaws: The Revenge is, it has to be the greatest drop in quality a movie series has seen. It just has to be. How could something be worse?
Sure, there were two other Jaws movies in between the first Jaws and The Revenge, but The Revenge is so bad it could have been 16 sequels worth of diminishing returns. The Revenge is an insult to Jaws 3, let alone Jaws 2, let alone the original!
Why is it so bad? Geez, where do I even begin? Wait, I know a good spot to begin: the fact that the shark in this movie is literally out for revenge on the Brody family for what happened to the sharks in the first two movies! Oh yeah, I say the first two movies because Jaws: The Revenge ignores the events of Jaws 3 and is its own third entry. So it’s basically Jaws 3-2.
Not only is the idea that a shark could actively seek revenge absolutely ludicrous, but it even contradicts a line of dialogue from Jaws 2. This is also the movie where the shark roars like a lion. The movie where the shark blows up after getting stabbed by the front of a ship. And I don’t mean its body pops and blood and guts fly everywhere, I mean the shark actually explodes into a fireball!
Okay, so the movie is insulting to the audience’s intelligence, but even if we try to look past the idiocy, it’s still a bad sequel all around: Chief Martin Brody is dead from the get-go, having died of a heart attack in between Jaws 2 and this movie. So Roy Scheider is sorely missed (by the audience, I’m sure Scheider was happy he wasn’t featured). I guess he wasn’t in Jaws 3 either, but at least that continuity didn’t kill Martin Brody off screen. Though I guess getting killed off screen is a better character fate than surviving one horror film only to get killed by the same/virtually the same villain in one of the sequels, which just undermines their victory in the first movie. I hate that!
So the widowed Ellen Brody is the main character here. Her younger son is engaged to be married, only to be killed by the revenge-seeking shark…at Christmastime, of course (let’s kick Ellen Brody while she’s down). So Ellen leaves Amity Island to stay in the Bahamas with her older son, where the shark naturally follows her in a matter of days. That is one fast as hell shark!
And did I mention that Ellen Brody seems to have a psychic connection with the shark, and is able to sense its presence when it’s near? She also has flashbacks to events from the first movie in which she wasn’t even there to witness them. Geez…
Do I have to keep talking about Jaws: The Revenge? Maybe one day I’ll review all of the Jaws movies. But damn, what a fall from grace.
The worst sequel.
Best Movie I Watched for the First Time This Month: Dick Tracy (Evil Dead 2/Army of Darkness are close runners-up, and let’s include North by Northwest out of obligation)
If we’re being technical here, then sure, North by Northwest was the “best movie” I saw for the first time this past month. But I really can’t get past that abrupt ending. So North by Northwest seems like the answer I’m supposed to say here, but not the one I pick.
Evil Dead 2 and Army of Darkness may have also taken the crown, but I’m undecided as to which one I actually prefer (Evil Dead 2 is probably the best of the trilogy from a pure filmmaking perspective, but I really like how Army of Darkness just changes genres and goes nuts). Since I’m undecided there, I guess I can go ahead and select Dick Tracy as the winner for now.
Okay, so maybe my pick here isn’t as definitive as last month’s, but it’s something.
Again, Dick Tracy isn’t anything complex, but it’s a very easy movie to appreciate, perhaps more so today than it was in 1990. This is a movie that is unapologetically faithful to its source material. If anyone in the audience is confused or weirded out by it, that’s their problem. That’s a beautiful mentality that I wish we saw more of in movies today, when comic book movies and fantasy and science fiction feel the constant need to compromise.
As mentioned earlier, Dick Tracy reminds me a lot of The Rocketeer, released by Disney a year later. But where The Rocketeer had one villain encased in prosthetic makeup, I think Dick Tracy has more actors wearing prosthetics than those not wearing them. What other movie would give Al Pacino a hunched back, a goblin nose, and a butt chin? Or give Dustin Hoffman crooked lips and have him speak in incoherent mumbles?
Dick Tracy’s use of bright colors and cartoony sets are a constant delight, and its sheer commitment to bring the look of a comic to life in the most literal sense is admirable. Some might say that Dick Tracy is an exercise in style over substance, but so are Quentin Tarantino movies, and people seem to like those just fine. Not every film has to be deep.
On the downside, Dick Tracy is (like last month’s The Fugitive) one of those rare movies that was a really big deal the year it came out, but then fell under the radar over time. That’s a shame, because it really is something to see. Let’s start talking about Dick Tracy again! But let’s all try to forget the NES video game adaptation…
Another issue is that Dick Tracy is one of those movies Disney seems embarrassed of today, and the film is unavailable on Disney+. Probably because you can see boobs in one scene of the movie. Disney is okay with Thanos murdering half the population of the universe, but showing boobs? That’s going too far!
It may not be as readily available as other Disney movies, but Dick Tracy is definitely worth seeing. Don’t expect a masterpiece, but expect something that looks unlike anything else, and is defiantly itself.
One more thing: Big Boy did it.
The Guilty Pleasure Award: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze
This crown really belongs to the 1990s TMNT trilogy as a whole, but I think Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze is the one that best exemplifies “guilty pleasure.”
The first TMNT movie is probably the most genuinely liked of any TMNT movie. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3 is probably the most hated (though I can certainly find joy in it, if even ironically). But the second entry is the one where things started to get goofy, what with the “traditional pre-fight donuts” and the annoying pizza delivery boy sidekick and that Vanilla Ice scene. Not to mention the titular “secret of the ooze” isn’t actually revealed in the finished film (in early drafts of the script, the film would have revealed David Warner’s character to have been an Utrom, the same alien species as Krang. So the “secret” would have been that the ooze was created by aliens. Good thing they cut that but kept Vanilla Ice).
It’s a silly movie, but one in which my enjoyment of it is genuine. The first two TMNT movies remain some of my earliest movie memories, and while the first film is the better movie, as a wee tyke I preferred the sequel because it had mutant bad guys for the Turtles to fight (perfectly sound reasoning for a young child). It’s a nostalgic treat for me. But a really powerful one where it doesn’t merely bring back fond memories, but watching the movie takes me right back to the feelings I had when watching it as a kid, as if no time has passed. It’s hard to explain.
Simply put, TMNTII: The Secret of the Ooze is dumb fun. And I love it.
Just don’t ask me how regular Shredder survived getting crushed by a garbage truck in the first movie, yet meets his ultimate demise in TMNTII when a bunch of planks of wood fall on him after he mutated into the Super Shredder. I’ve been pondering that one since I was a kid…
The Best Sitcom Ever Award: Seinfeld
As mentioned, October wasn’t all about the movies for me, as I watched the entirety of Seinfeld (again), the best sitcom of all time. One of the few shows I appreciate in the same way I do a great movie.
Seinfeld began airing in 1989 (the year I was born, no less). Interestingly, that’s the same year The Simpsons debuted, and unless you count the locally broadcast “season zero” of Mystery Science Theater 3000, it’s the same year that show debuted as well. So 1989 was basically the most significant year ever for television comedy, but that milestone rarely gets brought up for some reason.
Seinfeld, the “show about nothing,” really was one of a kind. A show of a thousand catchphrases, that permeated through pop culture and created (or popularized) terms and phrases that people still use today (“Yadda yadda yadda, anyone?). Virtually every episode provides something memorable and quotable. And what other show continued to create iconic moments even in its late seasons (the infamous “Soup Nazi” episode was a product of season seven)?
An important element to Seinfeld’s enduring appeal is that it ended. When the show was at the zenith of its powers as the zeitgeist of all pop culture, Jerry Seinfeld and company decided to end the show on their terms, as to not overstay their welcome. I can’t think of another show that decided to end when it was still the show. In true George Costanza fashion, Seinfeld went out on a high note. If only The Simpsons had been so wise.
Sure, Seinfeld hit some bumps along the way (unpopular opinion, but Elaine really became insufferable in the later seasons), and the finale itself may not be so fondly remembered, but it wasn’t anything that damaged the reputation of the show (it wasn’t the Netflix seasons of Arrested Development, after all). Hey, with 180 episodes, it can’t all be perfect. There were bound to be some missteps. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
The best sitcom.
And there we go. It’s done! Goodness gracious, I did not intend for this post to be this long at all. This My Month in Movies could eat the last My Month in Movies. If I decide to write any more of these down the road (emphasis on if), I certainly hope they don’t end up this long by default. I don’t know what happened here, I just started writing and then couldn’t stop.
There are a few movies I’d like to review soon: the fact that I still haven’t reviewed Luca and The Mitchell’s Vs. the Machines is dumbfounding for me. I should have reviewed them sooner. I would also like to review Ghostbusters: Afterlife once I’ve seen it. And I may review The Eternals, seeing as I’ve reviewed so many Marvel things already it feels like I’m obligated to do so by this point (though truth be told, I think I’m finally getting a bit Marvel’ed out… I blame Loki). Aside from those, and maybe a review for an older movie or two, I really want to start focusing this site on video games again for a while. Remember when this site used to be focused entirely on animated films and video games? I do. And I kind of miss it.
I have a whole stack of games that are ready and waiting for their reviews, I don’t know why I haven’t gotten to them yet. Maybe I just needed a break from writing about games and just needed to enjoy them for a while? Playing video games for fun… what a concept!
Anyway, I hope you had a fun read with this. It certainly was fun to write. It’s kind of nice to just write a bunch of quick things about a bunch of movies, as opposed to one big review for each individual movie. In a way, this felt like the “writing about movies” equivalent of WarioWare. Which reminds me, I still need to review the newest WarioWare. Dang it!
At the very least, I like to think I gave a sneak peak into my love of Spirited Away and Seinfeld, and gave you a place where Casablanca, Psycho and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles all live in harmony. Now I’m off to review some video games.
Sorry I still haven’t brought back my Halloween Top 5 lists of Wizard Dojo’s earliest years, maybe next year I’ll finally remember to bring those back (especially seeing as my “Top Five Video Game Skeletons” list from a few years back continues to be one of my most popular posts for some inexplicable reason). I was also thinking about writing a review for a certain NES game for the occasion (a game so bad, it’s scary), but I didn’t get around to replaying it in enough time, so it will have to wait for another day. I sadly don’t even have too much of an excuse, given all the movies I watched this month, I probably could have found the time.
But why am I writing apologies for what I could have written? Let’s just enjoy Halloween! Pumpkins and candy and monsters and all that. What a great day!
Whatever you did this Halloween, whether it be Trick or Treating, having a Halloween party, or just sitting in the pumpkin patch waiting for the Great Pumpkin to arrive, I hope you had a great one!
Why do I keep posting gifs of The Nightmare Before Christmas on a Halloween post when that’s a Christmas movie? Oh, you can argue that all you want, but the story is centered around Christmas, so it’s ultimately a Christmas movie (it’s perfectly acceptable to watch it in honor of Halloween as well, I suppose).
Anyway, here’s a picture of me in my Halloween costume this year.
I am of course Noface from Spirited Away. It’s a costume that I have been wanting to do for a long time, but never got around to it. With this year being Spirited Away’s twentieth anniversary, it seemed like a great time to finally do it. Yeah, I would have preferably made my own costume, but I didn’t decide to get a costume until late this year. So I did what I could in the time given to me. Kind of like what Gandalf said. Maybe next time. And yes, that’s my nerd room. You can see my posters of The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, Super Mario Bros. 3, Sonic Mania and my framed poster of DKC: Tropical Freeze (right behind me. You can see Funky Kong in the corner).
Again, apologies for a continued lack of a proper Halloween post. Maybe next time. But I still needed to write something. Halloween is one of my favorite holidays after all, along with Christmas. So it has to be acknowledged here at the Dojo.
Well, here’s something a little bit different. I had a pretty solid month in movie-watching this September (the month of my birthday!), so I figured I’d write something quick about it here.
I watched over twenty movies in September, which may not be a whole lot for some people, but for me (these days) it’s something. Quite an eclectic lot of movies too, I must say. A number of them I watched for the first time.
Despite the name of this post, I don’t think this will be a monthly thing (if it were, I should have started this a couple of years ago when I was watching movies more frequently), but I thought it’d be a fun thing to write for a change of pace, and maybe I’ll write more of these here and there in the future. We’ll see.
Here is the full list of movies I watched in September 2021 in order of viewing. Movies I watched for the first time will be marked with an asterisk.
Shan-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings*
Last Action Hero*
Lethal Weapon 2
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows
Speed 2: Cruise Control*
So yeah, quite the variety of movies. I like to think of myself as someone who can appreciate both Citizen Kane and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, thank you very much.
Speaking of TMNT, as you probably guessed by this list, along with my recent review of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Tournament Fighters, I’m on a bit of a Ninja Turtles kick as of late (I can’t wait for that Shredder’s Revenge game next year). I actually reviewed all of the TMNT movies a few years back, but I feel like I have more to say about them. Maybe soon I’ll write an entire retrospective of the TMNT movies, and some other stuff about them as well.
Anyway, a number of the movies I have listed here that I haven’t reviewed, I would like to review some day. Some sooner than others, as I have a lot of things to say about the Speed movies, The Fugitive and Last Action Hero.
I also have to say, after watching the original Superman movie for the first time since I was a kid, I think THAT is how Superman should be depicted. I’ve grown something of a disdain for the character over the years, but I think that has more to do with the depictions of the character in the years since than it does the character himself. People are always trying to make Superman “cool” or “gritty,” or coming up with dumb ‘what if?’ scenarios like “what if Superman went bad?” and crap like that. A lot of what works for other comic book superheroes just doesn’t work for Superman. Keep him simple: a beacon of hope and optimism. The 1978 movie, despite some flaws, gets that so right. Just make Superman THAT.
Of course, there’s a lot to say about Citizen Kane and Goodfellas. Great movies, to be sure. However, if I’m being completely honest, the best film I watched last month was Up. I know, I’ve committed cinematic blasphemy by daring to say anything is better than Citizen Kane, and I’d be shunned by movie buffs by even suggesting that something could be better than the work of the movie buff man-god Martin Scorsese. Hey, I’m not saying Citizen Kane and Goodfellas are bad, just that I think Up is better. Of course, so much as suggesting such a thing – particularly of an animated film – would get me disgraced as a “serious” movie buff. Oh well, I’d rather enjoy movies than fit into some club.
It seems action movies were my overall flavor of the month for September . While most of the action movies I watched were good, the best of the lot has to be Speed. I can’t believe I had never watched it before.
I also watched some notable “technically revolutionary” films in Jurassic Park and Tron. Two truly pioneering movies that I’ll no doubt talk more about later. Speaking of Tron, I also watched The Rocketeer again. Like Tron, The Rocketeer deserves mention with the best live-action Disney movies, alongside the more obvious choices of Mary Poppins and Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl.
I already reviewed Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings, which was also a lot of fun. My apologies to Mr. Scorsese that I watched a Marvel movie in the same month as one of his films. Or maybe he should apologize for being such a prude. That works too.
Best Movie I Watched All Month: Up
Still one of Pixar’s best films. Part of me is tempted to even say it’s the best Pixar film, but when I remember Inside Out, The Incredibles, Ratatouille, Wall-E and Toy Story 2 (still the best Toy Story) it gets difficult to pick a definitive winner. But Up is probably in the top three at least. Still one of my favorite movies full-stop.
Sure, Citizen Kane and Goodfellas are classic films that have earned their acclaim: Citizen Kane is widely considered the greatest film of all time, and I can understand it being considered the best up until that point. Though if we’re being honest, it isn’t magically better than any other great movie to be released since, as critics would have you believe. It’s just kind of become that “safe pick” for critics, similar to what Ocarina of Time would become for video games. It’s great, but many other works are just as great. Meanwhile, Goodfellas is often hailed as one of the best films of the 1990s, and rightfully so. It’s also often considered to be Martin Scorsese’s best film. To that I say… yeah, it probably is.
My point though, is that I can appreciate Citizen Kane and Goodfellas as great, groundbreaking films. They make for great conversation and it’s fun to dissect and analyze them. But Up is the kind of film that really moves me. It makes me appreciate life and its little things more. It makes me want to be a better person. It makes me cry. No Citizen Kane or Goodfellas has affected me on that level. So Up gets the crown. Sorry/Not sorry.
Best Movie I Watched for the First Time this Month: Speed (The Fugitive being a close runner-up)
I’m not sure if it’s the numerous references to Speed made in the Sonic the Hedgehog movie, or my need for more Dennis Hopper in my life, but I finally decided to check Speed out. Boy, am I glad I did. It’s honestly one of the best pure action movies I’ve ever seen. It deserves to be mentioned with the likes of Mad Max: Fury Road and Terminator 2. It’s pure popcorn bliss.
Shame about Speed 2: Cruise Control. Talk about a dip in quality between a movie and its sequel. Woof. Very ouch.
The Fugitive is also a classic 90s film, released a year earlier than Speed. Though it’s more of a suspenseful thriller than pure action. A feature film remake of the 1960s television series, The Fugitive was actually a really big deal in 1993, but for some reason doesn’t get talked about much anymore. We need to fix that and start talking about it again.
Worst Movie I Watched All Month: Bright
Speed 2 may be a disappointing sequel, but it isn’t entirely without merit (there are a few brief moments of suspense, and Willem DaFoe is fun as the baddie, even if he’s not an equal to Dennis Hopper’s villain from the original). Bright, on the other hand… Whoo boy….
In case you’ve forgotten (hopefully you’ve forgotten?), Bright is that Netflix movie from a few years back starring Will Smith as an LAPD officer in a modern world filled with fantasy races and creatures, with Will Smith’s partner being an orc. It isn’t the worst concept ever, but I always wonder why Hollywood and the like are constantly trying to “reinvent” fantasy. Fantasy opens the door to literally any story, in a way that no other genre can. So why not use that to tell an original story, instead of trying to reinvent fantasy itself?
Anyway, Bright is from the same director as 2016’s Suicide Squad, and somehow makes that movie look like a joy by comparison. The social commentary – while perhaps well meaning at some early point – is so heavy handed and constant (and I mean constant), that it just comes across as trying way too hard. The movie may have had something with that if it knew how to dial it back a little, but instead its constant shouting of its themes make it seem like it’s trying desperately to be important.
Basically, it’s like a Niell Blomkamp movie. Only fantasy instead of sci-fi.
On top of that, we have action that isn’t really exciting, comedy that isn’t funny, and a wildly inconsistent tone (note to filmmakers: if you’re going to go into as dark of territory as having the villains in your film murder a family, don’t try to be a jokey buddy cop movie two minutes later. It just doesn’t work). It’s a messy, ugly, unpleasant movie.
The Guilty Pleasure Award: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows
I genuinely love this movie. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not what you would call a “good” movie. It’s just that I don’t care. I’m having too much fun.
While none of the Ninja Turtles films would be considered fine cinema, I enjoy them greatly. As someone born during the boom of Turtlemania, I have a soft spot for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The first two films, in particular, are some of my earliest movie memories.
But Out of the Shadows is the Ninja Turtles movie I always wanted as a kid, but didn’t get until 2016. While the ugly character designs for the turtles are carried over from the (also enjoyable) 2014 movie, everything else is like the 1987 cartoon and the toys brought to life on the screen: It has Krang, it has Bebop and Rocksteady, it has Baxter Stockman, it brought back Casey Jones, it has the Technodrome, it has the theme song!
Due to Michael Bay being attached as producer, a lot of people seem to lump the 2014 and 2016 Ninja Turtles movies together with those awful, awful Transformers movies. They really don’t deserve that. The Transformers movies are bad. The Ninja Turtles reboot movies are fun. Dumb fun. But a whole lot of it!
It’s a shame Out of the Shadows was a box office bomb (which I once again attribute more to the Transformers/Michael Bay connection than the movie itself), because I feel like the series finally got on track to replicating the TMNT we all knew from the cartoons and video games, and could have had another fun sequel or two. But it was a dead end. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is now being rebooted (again) with two different movies (one animated, and a new live-action one), so it’s unfortunate that Out of the Shadows won’t have a proper follow-up. At the very least, please don’t recast Tyler Perry. He seemed to be having the time of his life as Baxter Stockman.
And there you go!
Again, hopefully I’ll be able to write about these movies more in-depth at some point, whether through reviews or other such write-ups. I already have so much more to say about some of them, that I really should get to those soon. And some of the movies I didn’t talk about as much here definitely deserve more love. We’ll see how quickly/slowly I get around to all of these.
September was definitely an enjoyable movie watching month for me. I’ll have to wait and see how October stacks up. If it does I may have to write another one of these (the fact that I already have my tickets to see Spirited Away – my favorite film – on the big screen is already a great sign). But please, don’t expect me to write these every month. I’m already backlogged with my video game reviews, I really should emphasize those for a while before I think about writing something else…
Hopefully you had a fun little read here. It was fun to write, and something a little different for me. So I hope you had a decently good time with this. At the very least, I gave you a place where you could read a little bit about Citizen Kane and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in one spot. I see this as an accomplishment.
That’s right, Kevin! The big day has finally arrived! It’s Wizard Dojo’s ONE-THOUSANDTH post! Huzzah!
This has been a long time coming. Both because it took a long time to write 1,000 posts, and also because my updates have been so slow these past few months it really dragged this out. But how great to finally be here, eh?
Here’s the short film “Fresh Guacamole” by PES, the shortest film ever nominated for an Oscar!
Ah, yes. Everything about that short is satisfying.
A big thank you to everyone who reads this blog, and double thank you to the people who have been reading it for a good while and stuck with it. And an additional thank you for the people who read it in the past, forgot about it, and then came back to it. You’re like Palpatine: somehow… you returned!
To quote the great philosopher Herman Munster: “I would like to thank all the little people who helped make this possible… I would like to, but I can’t, because I did it all myself.”
Have I referenced that before? Seems like I have. Ah well, it’s a great quote, and Herman Munster was a badass. So I regret nothing.
Anyway, what are we doing spending so much time on the thank yous? Let’s get down to business (to defeat the huns)! Let’s dedicate the rest of this thousandth blog milestone to a number of things I’ve been meaning to write for a good while, presented as different ‘chapters.’ You know, like Paper Mario. Back when Paper Mario was good.
Chapter 1: My Favorite Film of 2020
Finally! It’s been a long time since I revealed my favorite film of the year before the last few months of the next year. I mean, I’m still really late in doing this, and for that, I apologize. But it’s an improvement.
Go ahead and call me repetitious, but my favorite film of 2020 was an animated film. And no, it wasn’t Pixar’s Soul.
Sure, people might say I’m biased, as every year that I’ve named my favorite film of the year ever since I launched Wizard Dojo, the winner has been animated. But I’d argue that we’re simply in a great era of animated filmmaking. You always hear people complaining that movies these days are “getting worse” or that they’re dumbed down, but I believe people who say such things are ignoring the animated side of things (which, sadly, seems likely). Sure, maybe blockbusters are getting repetitious, art films are getting too self-absorbed, and indie films ironically feel like they’re coming off a conveyor belt. But animated films have continued to shine throughout the new millennium. So fans of animation, such as myself, are witnessing a kind of golden age for the medium.
Is that enough needless justification for my stance? And is it really such a bad thing in the first place? I mean, the Oscars select the same kind of dramas year after year (and continue to lose ratings. I wonder if there could be a connection there). So is it such a crime that some random dude on the internet is won over by animated films time and again?
Anyway, let’s cut to the chase. My favorite film of 2020 is…
Director Tomm Moore and his studio “Cartoon Saloon” have provided some of the best animated features of recent memory. Although Wolfwalkers is only the studio’s fourth feature film (and Moore’s third), the artistry and craftsmanship that has gone into them ascends them near the very top of the animation totem pole. Moore’s previous film, Song of the Sea, was one of my favorite films of the 2010s full stop, and Wolfwalkers is a more than worthy follow-up, being the best film of 2020 in my book.
Moore, who has appropriately been dubbed the “Irish Miyazaki,” has made three stunningly beautiful, hand-drawn fairy tales that are among the few works that deserve that Miyazaki comparison. There is an emotional depth and sensitivity to Tomm Moore’s films that make you feel for their stories and characters right from the get-go. Here’s a filmmaker who intimately understands fantasy storytelling, and makes films aimed at children that never once talk down to their target audience. They’re equal parts fun and captivating to audiences of any age.
Wolfwalkers tells the story of two girls: Robyn Goodfellowe, a hunter’s daughter, and Mebh, one of the titular Wolfwalkers, a being who takes the form of a wolf when her human body sleeps. While the two girls’ burgeoning friendship that serves as the heart of the story will certainly entertain kids (especially Mebh), the film also has a lot to say from a societal and philosophical perspective. Robyn is continuously forced to toil in a scullery, her proud father is reduced to being the whipping boy of a fanatical general, and poor Mebh and her wolves are in constant danger simply for existing.
I love this movie. It’s deep and beautiful and fun and magical, like all the best animated fairy tales. Pixar’s Soul was a good movie (though far from Pixar’s best), it had some important things to say, but often stumbled in trying to express them. Wolfwalkers didn’t suffer those issues. It’s a film that shows how everyone wants (and deserves) their freedom, though society doesn’t always seem to want that for them. It just so happens that those issues are told within a lovely fable of profuse visual splendor.
Song of the Sea was one of my favorite films of the 2010s (hopefully I’ll make a more concrete list on the subject soon), and seeing as I think Wolfwalkers is the best film of the only finished year of the 2020s as of this writing, I guess that makes it my favorite film of this decade so far. Together with 2009’s The Secret of Kells, Tomm Moore’s output already reads like an all-time great.
Chapter 2: Some Changes
Wizard Dojo has been around a few years now, and in that time I’ve written hundreds of reviews for video games and movies. I originally used a .5-based 1-10 rating scale when this site launched in 2014. In 2018 I converted to the more streamlined 1-10 scale using only whole numbers (and altering every score accordingly). Sometimes I miss the ol’ 9.5s and 8.5s, and wonder if I made the right choice. But then I remember that any of the “.5” scores below that are insanely arbitrary, and that confirms I did indeed make the right choice. I mean, what the hell is a 3.5, anyway?
What I’m getting at here is that I’m no stranger to altering some scores when need be. And I do feel that, with this 1,000th blog milestone, I may use this as an opportunity for another soft reboot of sorts. I have been tempted to change the scoring system again (like an A to F scale or something), or even omit it entirely, but I’m not going to do anything that drastic right now. But I do think I will be reviewing some of my past reviews (review-ception!), and altering them every here and there.
Some might say that’s unprofessional to change scores. But come on, people’s opinions change, they might see things in new lights. It’s not like I’m grading algebra papers and there are definitive right answers here.
Interestingly (to me, anyway), this all mostly applies to the video game side of things, though there may be some movie review score I might adjust. I guess there’s just something about the interactivity of games that makes it all more flip-floppy.
Some video game scores I’ve already altered. Others I may have to replay a bit so I can make the proper changes to the written review itself (which is the actual review, after all. The scores are just numbers to easily sum it all up). Though keep in mind it may take some time to get around to re-writing.
Some games whose scores have been altered include:
Kirby’s Dreamland 3 (SNES) – Promoted from an 8 to a 9/10: It’s the best Kirby game, and one of the most charming games ever made. Also one of the greatest (and tragically underrated) art styles in the medium’s history. Why haven’t the Animal Friends introduced here made subsequent appearances? Nago the cat is my home skillet!
Tetris Attack (SNES) – Promoted from an 8 to a 9/10: Honestly, Panel de Pon is one of the best falling block puzzle games of all time (even if the blocks don’t actually fall, but rise). The addition of the Yoshi’s Island characters, story and music of its Tetris Attack incarnation makes it the best version of the game. If only this version could see a re-release…
Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow (GBA) – Promoted from an 8 to a 9/10: I say this as a Nintendo fan, but when it comes to Metroidvania, I actually prefer the Castlevania side of things. Though Symphony of the Night is (rightfully) hailed as the best entry in the series, Aria of Sorrow on the Game Boy Advance comes closer than you might think. For a game to reach similar heights and depths to Symphony of the Night with the limitations of a handheld console in 2003 is one hell of an achievement.
Dark Souls 2: Scholar of the First Sin (PS4) – Demoted from an 8 to a 7/10: Despite the extreme views fans of the series may have, Dark Souls 2 is not a disgrace to the series. But I will admit it is the weakest entry of the SoulsBorne series nonetheless. The limited spawns of enemies can make it difficult if you need to pick up additional souls and items, but can also be a strange combination of easy and tedious if you re-light the bonfires after the same few enemies over and over just to exhaust their spawns and clear your path. And don’t get me started on the Shrine of Armana. Beautiful to look at, but the worst area in the entire series to play. Blech!
Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle (Switch) -Demoted from an 8 to a 7/10: Mario + Rabbids is a good game. The simple fact that it’s a good game involving the Rabbids is some sort of small miracle of its own. No one expected much out of it when it was released in 2017, but it ended up surprising people, myself included. While I still think it’s a good game, in retrospect I think maybe that surprise factor may have boosted our opinions of it. Yes, it’s a fun tactical RPG, but when I started replaying it some time ago, its flaws were more apparent. Primarily, its trial-and-error approach, which may work in a faster paced game. But in a turn-based, tactics RPG? It makes things a little too slow. Still a good game, I want to stress that, but not one of the best Mario spinoffs.
Battletoads (NES) – Demoted from a 5 to a 3/10: Ah, Battletoads! I seem to keep going back and lowering my score to this one. I feel kinda bad about that, since some people still swear by this game. But the sad truth is that the so called “legendary challenge” of Battletoads is more accurately described as “poor game design.” The game presents its levels as challenges that require one-hundred percent accuracy, yet the actual mechanics of the game are so stiff and clunky, that they just don’t allow the precision that the game demands. Some might say I just need to “git gud.” But if you don’t mind my bragging for a second, I get the platinum trophies in Fromsoftware games. I’m fine with a steep challenge. Battletoads is just a bad game. At least the music’s good. And I hear that newer Battletoads game is actually decent.
Some games whose scores I’ve been thinking of changing include:
Bloodborne (PS4)- Upping it from a 9 to a perfect 10/10: Honestly, Bloodborne is probably the best entry in the SoulsBorne series by Fromsoftware. And being the best in a series that has to be the most influential in the medium for at least the last decade has to amount to something. Maybe I just didn’t have enough insight the first time around to give it a perfect score?
Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze (Wii U/Switch)- Upping from a 9 to a perfect 10/10: Have I bragged up any game more on this site than DKC: Tropical Freeze? It’s hands down the best 2D platformer since the genre’s heyday in the 16-bit generation, has some of the best level design I’ve ever seen. And it has an all-time great soundtrack. Sure, I still wish there were more variety in the bonus rooms, and that there were more Animal Buddies other than Rambi, like in the old DKC games. But is that really enough to deny what is otherwise one of my favorite games of all time a perfect score?
Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (Gen) – Upping from an 8 to a 9/10: The most acclaimed Sonic game of all time, and the most popular Sega Genesis game of all time. It was also my favorite entry back when I was a kid. Though as I’ve gotten older, I do think Sonic 3 and Sonic & Knuckles were improvements. And Sonic Mania probably deserves the crown as the best in the series now. So basically, the reason Sonic 2 is an 8 is because I think it has similar but superior sequels, meaning it’s not the best such game to play today. Still, considering Sonic 2 has held up as well as it has after all these years, am I wrong to not rate it higher than I did?
I have also been considering changing some scores on the movies I’ve reviewed. Namely, depending on how I want to continue with how strict I want to keep my grading, Hayao Miyazaki’s Castle in the Sky, Ponyo, and Princess Mononoke are all worthy of perfect 10/10s (Castle in the Sky, in particular, is probably the best animated action film ever made). The only reason those films sit at 9s is because I’ve currently been doing the whole “minimal perfect scores” things by means of comparing a creator’s works, and only giving their absolute best perfect scores. And since Spirited Away and My Neighbor Totoro are both at perfect 10s, the above mentioned are at 9s. But the more I think about it, that’s pretty bogus. Am I just denying deserving movies of perfect scores just so I look more strict? That’s kind of pretentious of me. Perhaps being more open with my grading is the way to go, at least with movies. Video games seem more appropriate for stricter scoring, for whatever reason.
Or maybe all this is proof that I should do away with all this scoring nonsense…
Chapter 3: 2021 Video Game Awards
Huzzah! I’m getting my video game awards done at the same time as I named my favorite movie of the year! And it only took until mid-June of the next year. I’m really catching up!
As always, my video game awards are presented in mostly-traditional categories. So without further ado… here they are!
Best Sound: Demon’s Souls (PS5)
Is it cheating to award Best Sound to a remake of a game from 2009 that used pretty much the same sounds now that it did back then? If so, well then give this award to Crash Bandicoot 4. If not, then Demon’s Souls has to win.
From Software’s “SoulsBorne” games simply have the most atmospheric sound design in video games. And it all started here with Demon’s Souls. Clanking armors, the shrieks and grunts of some horrible monster around the corner, it’s all here, crisper and clearer than ever. Even the sounds that emanate from the PS5 controller are satisfying.
Given that I’ve awarded Best Sound to Dark Souls II, Bloodborne, Dark Souls III and Sekiro in the past, it seems only fitting that the game that started the Souls lineage should triumph in this category as well.
Best Music: Hades
Supergiant Games are no strangers to memorable soundtracks, and their most recent work, Hades, is no exception. Although the music of Hades isn’t quite at the forefront of things as it were in, say, Bastion, It still provides a mix of atmosphere and heat-pumping action that is more than fitting for the game.
Best Visuals: Demon’s Souls (PS5)
I don’t care if it’s an upgrade of a game originally released on the PS3 in 2009, the Demon’s Souls remake is gorgeous! Perhaps now that we’re deep into 2021, the Playstation 5 has seen more titles that are stronger showcases of the console’s graphical power. But there’s still none that I like to look at more than the Demon’s Souls remake. The textures, the colors, the lighting, everything. New PS5 games be damned. When it comes to pleasing aesthetics, Demon’s Souls has them beat.
Best Multiplayer: Fall Guys: Ultimate Knockout
It’s such a shame so much of Fall Guys’ thunder was stolen by Among Us shortly after release. For one, Fall Guys is a much better game than Among Us (Fall Guys actually has gameplay, which is a bonus), but it’s also sad that such a cute and charming game was on its way of becoming the new biggest thing in gaming, only to be spearheaded by a two-year old game that isn’t half as good.
Still, while Fall Guys’ popularity may have taken a hit, the sheer fun of it hasn’t. I’ve heard some people complain that Fall Guys doesn’t have enough depth to it, but that’s kind of what I like about it. It’s a throwback that suggests that *gasp!* fun gameplay might be enough to have players coming back.
Taking the popular battle royal genre of today, but giving it a lighthearted, platforming twist inspired by shows like Takeshi’s Castle and Wipeout, Fall Guys is always good fun. I still pick it up from time to time and have a blast every time.
Best Remake: Demon’s Souls (PS5)
When I originally played Demon’s Souls, it was after the other Souls games. As such, Demon’s Souls felt like it was lacking in certain areas, and it was easy to see where its successors improved on the experience.
Well, for whatever reason, the PS5 remake won me over much more strongly. Granted, there are some obvious improvements (excess items automatically going to your character’s storage is a huge improvement), but not so many obvious changes that it makes the source of my newfound appreciation for the game too apparent. It’s still very much Demon’s Souls, and there are still some areas that could have used some updating to be more like the subsequent Souls games. Yet somehow, I love the game way more now.
Simply a case of right place, right time? I don’t know. Maybe. But the point is the PS5 remake of Demon’s Souls made me see the game in a whole new, more positive light. I originally thought of Demon’s Souls as the weakest entry in the Souls series by a wide margin. And while it still may not be Dark Souls or Bloodborne, I now feel like Demon’s Souls can more properly be talked about in a similar light. That’s quite the improvement. As such, Demon’s Souls gets Best Remake!
Best Remaster/Re-release: Super Mario 3D All-Stars
Yes, it’s true, Super Mario 3D All-Stars is NOT what it could have been. Nintendo missed the opportunity to really spruce up the visuals of the games, as opposed to simply giving them a coat of HD gloss (which is what they did). The fact that the game lacks any extra features for players to delve into or read up on Mario’s history is questionable. Sunshine’s countless unpolished elements are left untouched. And where the hell is Galaxy 2?
Basically, if one series deserves better, it’s Super Mario.
Even if it were something of a missed opportunity, Super Mario 3D All-Stars still includes two all-time greats in Super Mario 64 and Super Mario Galaxy, and a decent third game in Super Mario Sunshine. You simply can’t go wrong.
Yes, Super Mario 3D All-Stars should have been something more. But considering that 64 and Galaxy are already so much more than most games, maybe we’re asking too much?
Best Content: Animal Crossing: New Horizons
I know that the PS4’s “Dreams” would seem to fit the bill here, considering that people can potentially create entire games within it. But “potentially” is the key word there. As initially amazed as I was with Dreams, it quickly became apparent that the majority of content people made was unfinished at the best of times, and outright crap at its worst. Sure, people made a lot of crap with Super Mario Maker, but you’ll find a lot more excellent Mario Maker stages than you will Dreams creations.
So yeah, Dreams doesn’t win this.
Animal Crossing: New Horizons does win this, however, for the sheer number of tasks you can do at any given time. And in traditional Animal Crossing fashion, you can go about it at your own pace. Between fishing, bug collecting, crafting, digging for fossils, diving, visiting other players, having other players visit you, there’s just always something to do in Animal Crossing. No matter how big or how small.
Between lengthy play sessions and small bursts of play, my total playtime in Animal Crossing: New Horizons stands tall over any other game on the Nintendo Switch. New Horizons is simply a treasure trove of fun things to do.
Best Gameplay: Hades
Hades is a game of surprising depth. Its rogue-like setup and hack and slash gameplay make it instantly engaging, but you’ll constantly be surprised by just how much there is to pretty much every aspect of the game. The six primary weapons, as well as the acquired upgrades and items you get along the way, would already give the game great variety, but combine it with all the powers you gain (and lose) with every run through the underworld, and Hades is a game that’s always changing and evolving.
With so much variety on top of what is already smooth and fun action, Hades is one of the most addicting action games in years.
Best Indie Game: Hades
Supergiant Games are no strangers to making acclaimed independent titles, and Hades is most likely their best work to date. An engrossing, action-packed indie classic that also manages to have a pretty interesting narrative.
Best Handheld Game: Animal Crossing: New Horizons
Now that I’m including Nintendo Switch titles for the title of Best Handheld Game, this was a really tough choice between Animal Crossing: New Horizons and Hades. In the end, I went with Animal Crossing, simply because it can be easier enjoyed in short bursts as well lengthy play sessions, which seems ideal for gaming on the go, while Hades is a little more demanding of your time. Hey, I had to pick one, okay!
New Horizons may not be the first handheld Animal Crossing, and I understand the complaints some have that it’s lacking some of the features of its 3DS predecessor. But New Horizons is still a prime example of why the series works so well on handheld platforms. Its relaxing “play at your own pace” gameplay, and the hidden depth therein, make it a perfect fit for gaming on the go.
Best Platform: Nintendo Switch
Uh oh, I gave the nod to Nintendo over Sony. According to the internet, that makes me a blind fanboy. But c’mon, the PS4’s biggest game of 2020 was an overhyped sequel to 2013’s most overhyped game, and the new, state-of-the-art PS5’s best game was a remake of a PS3 game. 2020 may not have been the Switch’s best year, but Animal Crossing and Hades alone really helped propel it.
Maybe a B+ year for Switch overall, but it still managed to shine brightest.
Game of the Year 2020: Animal Crossing: New Horizons
I only played Hades more recently, and that recency bias almost forced my hand to name it Game of the Year. It certainly would be a deserving choice, to be sure. However, I started thinking about those first few months Animal Crossing: New Horizons came out, the countless hours I poured into it, and how it basically ruled the minds of all those who played it.
Importantly (and go ahead and call this cheating), those first few months coincided with the first months of the dreadful Covid-19 pandemic. In such a dark time, Animal Crossing: New Horizons was that tiny ray of light that brought some happiness and normalcy to the world. That’s something that can’t be taken for granted.
Both Animal Crossing: New Horizons and Hades are worthy for the title of best video game of 2020. But due to unprecedented circumstances, it’s the latest iteration of Animal Crossing that I feel deserves to take the honors.
Though even without said circumstances, Animal Crossing: New Horizons has so much going for it. Yes, the coffee shop and a few other features from the 3DS version are absent, but what is present represents Animal Crossing at its peak. Collecting items, building up your island, visiting friends, hording those sweet, sweet bells. Few series provide such simple enjoyment as Animal Crossing, and New Horizons provides it better than the series has before.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to my island and pull some weeds…
Runners-up: Hades, Fall Guys: Ultimate Knockout, Crash Bandicoot 4: It’s About Time
Chapter 4: SomehowPalpatine Returned
No, I don’t care to elaborate.
Chapter 5: Where We’re Going We Don’t Need Roads
First, some apologies. I’m sorry my site has really slowed down with the updates since the last quarter of 2020. Things looked like they would improve in 2021 when I reviewed all five Oddworld titles (before SoulStorm’s release) in January. But since then, I’ve slowed right back down again. For the first time since I launched this site, May of 2021 was the first month where I didn’t post a single update. And for this slowness, I apologize.
On the plus side, as I’ve been writing this 1000th post, I’ve also written a few additional reviews, which I will make public in the days following this celebratory post.
I’m hoping that my updates will once again pick up in the coming weeks and months, though I do have to admit my actual reviews for movies and video games may not be as frequent as they once were. Simply put: I can’t keep up with them all. As much as I would like to review every game that catches my eye and every movie I see, that’s just not possible, unless this were to somehow magically become a full-time job.
By this I mean that, in the past, I would often buy games (sometimes when I really didn’t have the money to spare) just so I could get an extra review on this site. To give myself a compliment, I feel that commitment to something (in this case, creating content for a website) is admirable. But if I’m being realistic, I just can’t keep up with that pace (notice I still need to actually write my reviews of the aforementioned Animal Crossing: New Horizon and Hades). Partly because of life, and partly because (as I’ve complained about so many times) modern video games are just too damn long. And of course they’re expensive. As for movies, well, there’s just so many of them, and while I appreciate movies of all kinds, I admit there are certain types of films that I certainly enjoy writing about more than others (or, at the very least, where the writing comes to me more naturally than others).
Don’t worry, I still hope to pick up the pace and get a steady flow of content in the future. But, aside from my 400th video game review milestone (which I’m just so close to already), I won’t be rushing myself to get to the next big milestone for a while. Maybe expect a small handful of reviews every month, and maybe an additional piece of writing and (hopefully) a top 5/10 list. I’ve been meaning to catch up on making such lists, so maybe an easier flow of reviews will help me finally get to those lists.
Another reason why I may not be racing to get as many reviews done as possible is – as I’ve stated so many times in the past I’m now kind of tired of saying it and not pulling through with doing it – I would like to get started on other creative endeavors. Doing something in a video format would be interesting, and something I’ve given a lot of thought into for quite some time, so maybe it’s time I finally do it (I could always post those videos here as well). And more importantly, I really need to start delving deeper into learning video game development. I’ve never been one who could just simply enjoy things like movies and video games. I’ve always wanted to make my own creations, ever since I was a kid.
While I will continue to update this site as much as possible, suffice to say if I were given the choice between reviewing stuff made by other people, or making stuff of my own, the latter option is the one I would describe as my dream come true. So it’s about time I started taking the appropriate steps to making that dream a reality.
So don’t worry, Wizard Dojo isn’t going anywhere. I just have other things to do, and places I need to be.
Chapter 6: Top 10 Video Game Launch Titles (2021 Edition)
Here we are at the THIRD edition of my list of the best video game launch titles. The first time I did it was a simple top five (with runners-up) that I posted on the launch day of this site. The second was a proper top 10, and happened in 2018, when I did a sort of “soft reboot” for this site. Since I like to think this 1000th post constitutes another kind of new beginning for Wizard Dojo, it seemed appropriate to include a third edition here.
So here now is a (slightly) updated installment to my list of the best launch titles in video game history. The games that released right alongside their console (sometimes in the same box!) and set a high standard right out of the gate. Oh, and keep in mind these entries were all released on the same day as their consoles, so even though Super Smash Bros. Melee and Pikmin are often considered launch games for the GameCube, they were only released around the same timeframe, not the same day. So they aren’t here.
So here now – again – are my top 10 video game launch titles!
10: Demon’s Souls (Playstation 5)
The Playstation brand has produced some great consoles. But you know something, they’ve never really been too good with launch titles. Every time I think of great video game launch titles, I can’t say a whole lot of games from Sony’s consoles come to mind (and by that I mean none do). Well, it looks like the PS5 has finally given the Playstation brand it’s first truly great launch title… and all they had to do was remake a Playstation 3 game from eleven years earlier.
Okay, perhaps Demon’s Souls on PS5 is a little something of a cheat. But it’s also the first time a Playstation console has had something truly great right out of the gate, so that has to count for something, right?
Although some of Demon’s Souls’ design choices may be rough around the edges when compared to the subsequent Souls games, the PS5 remake does a great job at streamlining some of the more cumbersome elements of the original 2009 game to bring this influential title a bit more up to date.
Sony may still be waiting on that launch game that really encapsulates what its console is all about, but Demon’s Souls’ intricate combat, deep design, and unforgettable world make it the best game to launch alongside a Playstation console to date.
9: The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (Wii)
In its earlier years, Nintendo would use its star franchise, Super Mario, to ring in a new console. But in more contemporary times, it’s Nintendo’s other premiere franchise, The Legend of Zelda, that simultaneously ends one console and ushers in the next. This unique trend started in 2006, when The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess closed the door to the GameCube and helped bring about the age of the Wii.
Like Demon’s Souls on PS5, Twilight Princess was perhaps not the best showcase of the Wii for this reason (the motion controls were kind of tacked on, but still fun), but the sheer quality of the game itself has to earn it a spot on the list. It’s certainly the ‘biggest’ of the traditional Zelda titles, featuring terrific dungeon design and some of Link’s greatest gadgets and gizmos.
With the two follow-up console titles in the series trying to change up the Zelda formula (to varying degrees of success), Twilight Princess is kind of like the last traditional Zelda game. That gives the game something of a bittersweet appeal in hindsight. But if Twilight Princess were to be the last traditional Zelda title, it was a high note to go out on.
Perhaps Twilight Princess isn’t the most “Wii” of Wii games. But its still one of the biggest and best Zelda titles, and Wii owners didn’t even have to wait to play it (unless they played a certain other launch title first).
8: SoulCalibur (Dreamcast)
Yes, SoulCalibur was originally in arcades. But its port to the Sega Dreamcast as part of that console’s launch was considered a nearly-perfect port of the weapons-based fighter. Considering even the likes of Street Fighter 2 and Mortal Kombat were considered to have sacrificed some quality in the transition to home consoles, it’s quite the achievement.
SoulCalibur was to 3D fighters what the aforementioned Street Fighter 2 and Mortal Kombat were to 2D ones. Intricate combat coupled with a varied cast of characters made for a deep fighter. And with the Dreamcast version losing nothing from its arcade counterpart, SoulCalibur was, at long last, the “arcade at home” experience fans had been looking for. It’s still one of the most acclaimed video games of all time! Also, jiggle physics!
Sonic Adventure was another memorable launch title for the Dreamcast. Though I’d be lying if I said Sonic Adventure stands the test of time, even with my nostalgia for it. SoulCalibur, on the other hand, has held up surprisingly well. Considering SoulCalibur was a pioneer in the 3D fighter genre, that timelessness is all the more impressive.
The SoulCalibur series may not be as acclaimed as it once was. But rest assured, the original’s place in video game history is well secure.
7: Halo: Combat Evolved (Xbox)
Dang, it hurts to put Halo at only number seven on this list. Honestly, it’s at this point where things got reeeally hard to rank, even this third time around. Make no mistake about it, however, Halo’s placement is no indictment of anything it did wrong as a launch title. It’s only a testament to the accomplishments of the remaining games on this list.
Without Halo, would the Xbox brand be such a prominent force in gaming today, twenty years later? I honestly don’t think it would be. Remember, the original Xbox was competing with the white hot Playstation 2 (and to a much lesser extent, industry mainstay Nintendo with the GameCube). Without something truly memorable at launch, the Xbox brand may have been doomed to have just been “that other guy” in the video game console equation.
Thankfully for Xbox, it had Halo.
Goldeneye 007 may have been the game that made first-person shooters work on home consoles, but it really has nothing on Halo.
Halo streamlined what needed fixing in the genre (only two weapons at a time, so no more endless cycling through your arsenal to find the weapon you’re looking for), and also added so much to it. The multiplayer of course speaks for itself. Anyone who owned an Xbox spent countless hours with friends and family in deathmatches and capture the flags. But for a great change of pace for the genre, Halo even included a great single-player campaign that was worth playing again and again. You could even play said campaign with a second player!
Don’t get me wrong, there were plenty of good games on the Xbox, but suffice to say Halo’s appeal transcended all of them. It wasn’t until its own sequel hit store shelves three years later – with added online functionality – that Halo: Combat Evolved was usurped as the biggest game on the console.
6: Wii Sports (Wii)
Maybe I just shouldn’t make these lists, because placing Wii Sports at number six is kind of killing me. No, it’s not the deepest game on this list, but it – perhaps more so than any other game – expresses exactly what its console is all about. Sure, Twilight Princess filled the need for a new installment in a beloved Nintendo franchise, but it was also originally conceived as a GameCube title. But Wii Sports was the Wii game.
Wii Sports is good, simple fun. Anyone, no matter their prior experience with video games, could pick it up and play. You had five sports included (tennis, golf, bowling, baseball and my personal favorite, boxing), all of which were played with motion controls. Simply move the Wii remote, and the character would move accordingly. It’s kind of weird how so few other games (on Wii and elsewhere) would end up utilizing motion controls half as well. Wii Sports came right out of the box, and got everything so right.
Oh, and you can’t forget the Miis. These simplified, player-created avatars became such a staple for Nintendo, that they continue to this day on Nintendo Switch, surviving long after the Wii name itself. Wii Sports just wouldn’t have been the same without them. Seriously, imagine the same concept of a game, but with a realistic looking baseball player. It’s just not the same, is it?
Wii Sports was just that perfect storm of components. Its simple, addictive, player-friendly gameplay combined with the innovation of the console itself made it an unforgettable experience. Even with a new Zelda ready and waiting, Wii Sports was the first place most Wii owners went to on their homepage (well, maybe after the Mii Channel).
No doubt the appeal of Wii Sports helped the Wii become the phenomenon that it was, which in turn helped gaming as a whole become more accepted as a mainstream pastime.
5: Tetris (Game Boy)
Although Tetris actually predates the Game Boy, it’s on Nintendo’s original handheld juggernaut where it became a phenomenon. It was a match made in heaven: Tetris’s simple gameplay of aligning falling blocks worked perfectly for the handheld console. Tetris was the kind of game you could play for a few minutes or for hours at a time (provided you had the batteries).
Sure, being on the Game Boy may have brought Tetris worldwide recognition, but I’d argue Game Boy was the real beneficiary for having Tetris be a part of it. No doubt the infectious, deceitfully deep gameplay of Tetris helped boost the Game Boy’s sales early on, and even throughout its lifetime.
Other titles such as Super Mario Land, Kirby’s Dream Land and The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening helped the Game Boy continue to grow, and the Game Boy is one of the only consoles (maybe the only one) to get a second life when it was supposed to be at its end, due to a little game called Pokemon. But the Game Boy would have never made it to Pokemon if it weren’t for Tetris. This falling-block puzzler even went on to transcend the Game Boy and consoles themselves, being released on virtually any available electronic and digital platform in existence at this point.
To this day, Tetris remains one of the best games of all time. The Game Boy may have helped Tetris in its ascension towards world domination, but I don’t think it’s a stretch to say Nintendo’s long dominance in the handheld gaming market (which even continues today with the Nintendo Switch) owes a lot to the fact that Tetris was available on the Game Boy right from the get-go.
4: Super Mario Bros. (NES)
I have to stress this every time: if we’re going by influence alone, Super Mario Bros. would top this and every other list. Although it may seem hard to believe nowadays with how far video games have come since, but no game showcased a bigger leap from what came before than Super Mario Bros. did in 1985.
The sheer fact that Mario could start one level on land, enter a pipe, and then be submerged in water with accompanying mechanics, was unlike anything else at the time. Before Super Mario Bros., if a game was going to be underwater, then that’s what the game was in its entirety, all on a single screen.
Super Mario Bros. brought adventure to video games. Even better, it did it while also having pitch perfect gameplay. It set the standard of forward-thinking ideas and flawless execution that would come to define the series. It singlehandedly made the NES the console of the 80s and set the stage for Nintendo’s many other franchises to follow. Not to mention it did it all during something of a dark age for the video game medium. Its impact and influence can’t be overstated.
Sure, there are plenty of better Mario games now (a couple of which you’ll be seeing on this list), but the original Super Mario Bros. remains a timeless classic in its own right. Which is no small feat for an NES launch game.
3: Super Mario 64 (Nintendo 64)
If one of a launch game’s biggest jobs is to showcase what a new generation can do that its predecessors could not, than no game has ever matched Super Mario 64 in that regard, and I don’t believe one ever will.
Super Mario 64 wasn’t the first 3D video game, but it may as well have been, as it was the first to truly bring the concept to life. For the first time, a character could roam freely in a 3D environment, player’s could go about the game world as they pleased. And thankfully, the exquisite design Super Mario had been known for remained fully intact.
Just as Mario reinvented video games in 1985 with Super Mario Bros., he did it all over again with Super Mario 64, this time elevating 3D gaming from a mere novelty into being the direction the medium would traverse going forward.
It may be hard for some to appreciate these days with how far gaming has come, but the sheer act of moving Mario around the courtyard of Princess Peach’s castle was a revelation. Mario now had acrobatic moves, like a triple jump, a wall jump and a punch/kick combo. Some of his moves (like that weird crouching, breakdance-like kick) seemed to exist just because they could in Mario’s new 3D environment. Never before had the sheer act of controlling a character in a video game felt so special, and it’s seldom been approached since.
Sony’s Playstation was the new kid on the block at the time. It may have been the “cooler” console with the fresher faces. But it was one of gaming’s oldest icons who paved the way for the future.
2: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (Nintendo Switch)
History repeated itself in 2017 when – just like Twilight Princess simultaneously ended the GameCube era and ushered in the Wii eleven years earlier – The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, after many delays, closed the book on the ill-fated Wii U and started a new chapter for Nintendo with the Switch. Though this time, instead of a hefty traditional Zelda title, we had one that reinvented its series.
At the expense of saying something controversial, Ocarina of Time had held the Zelda series back for too long. While Mario was constantly changing the rules of his series, Link’s adventures felt like they didn’t want to walk too far out of Ocarina’s shadow (itself kind of an extension of A Link to the Past’s shadow, if we’re being honest). They remained great games, to be sure. But their more conservative tendencies may have prevented them from building stronger individual legacies.
Thankfully, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild changed all that, rethinking and rewriting the rules of how Zelda games are played. Hyrule was now a vast open world, Link has a constantly changing arsenal of weapons, he learns all of his key abilities right out of the gate, you can even go straight from the beginning of the game to the final boss, if you’re brave or fool enough.
Nintendo previously seemed to think making such drastic changes to The Legend of Zelda would have been sacrilegious, but the changes Breath of the Wild brought with it should only restore faith into the Zelda series. Breath of the Wild is as fun and deep as any entry in the franchise, but is swimming in ideas and concepts that are all its own.
Yes, it was originally planned as a Wii U exclusive, and who knows how that system’s fortunes may have differed had things gone to plan. But like Twilight Princess, its late-game transition to the next console in line gave it that special feeling that only the best launch games can generate. And Breath of the Wild is so good, it should rank near the top of any list of launch titles.
But there is one greater still…
1: Super Mario World (Super NES)
On the surface, Super Mario World may seem like it’s “merely” a bigger sequel to the NES Mario games, but it shouldn’t take long to realize it’s so much more than that.
While Super Mario Bros. 3 introduced the world map into the equation, Super Mario World turned the world map into a level itself. Now stages included multiple exits, the map featured branching paths, there were secret worlds, and secret worlds inside of secret worlds! You could unlock new paths in earlier levels within the later levels of the game, and find warps to travel to different points in the world map. You could try to find the quickest route to take down Bowser, or uncover every last one of Super Mario World’s many secrets, essentially creating both speedrunning and completionism as we know them today in one fell swoop.
Levels were no longer completed simply by going left to right. Now, Mario often had to travel upward, downward, over and into the levels themselves to find every hidden exit. Metroid and Castlevania (the collective “Metroidvania”) understandably get credit for their emphasis on exploration, but Super Mario World kind of beat them to the punch.
World refined the flight mechanics introduced in Super Mario Bros. 3 through the now-iconic Super Cape power-up, which allowed Mario to travel and explore levels like never before. More importantly, Super Mario World introduced us all to Yoshi! The adorable dinosaur was a (literal) game-changer, and became so popular he starred in games of his own soon after. Has any character addition in a video game sequel ever had a bigger impact?
Something few people seem to mention about Super Mario World these days is that it was the first example of a new entry in a beloved franchise launching new hardware. Though Mario is a constant presence in gaming now, Super Mario World had to prove that to be the case. If the game failed, the Super Mario series may have faded with the NES. So Super Mario World had a hefty task at hand in proving Mario wasn’t simply a product of the 80s. Suffice to say it passed the test with flying colors.
Super Mario World showcased nex-gen capabilities in a way not dissimilar to Super Mario 64 (Yoshi simply wasn’t possible in the NES Marios), and features the same kind of franchise reinvention that would later define Zelda: Breath of the Wild. And it ensured Mario was here to stay.
30 years ago, Super Mario World showed us the best way to introduce a new console. And now, 30 years later, it hasn’t been matched. The best launch game of all time.
Honorable mentions: Sonic Adventure (Dreamcast), Luigi’s Mansion (GameCube), Nintendo Land (Wii U), New Super Mario Bros. U (Wii U)
Chapter 7: The Last One
Did I say the chapters in this post made it like Paper Mario? But I only made it to seven chapters, as opposed to eight… So I guess it’s more like Bug Fables. Still better than Sticker Star, Color Splash or Origami King. That’s for damned sure!
Yes, sadly, we come to the end of my one-thousandth post. There were some other things I wanted to include in here, but seeing as it took me so long just to get this done, they’ll have to wait for another day. I mean, I haven’t posted anything in two months! I can’t keep delaying this.
So I wasn’t able to make this 1,000th blog post everything it could be, but I hope you had some fun despite this. I’ll keep those additional ideas handy, either as their own posts (which might get them more traffic anyway, come to think of it), or as part of my Christmas Special or some other such post. Hopefully this site won’t have another draught like that between my review of Raya and the Last Dragon and this 1,000th post for quite some time.
Thankfully, I have a few movie and video game reviews that I’ve completed as I wrote this in bits and pieces. They’ve just been waiting for me to post this 1,000th post (so that it would actually be the 1,000th post). So now I can start posting those reviews in the coming days.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I must be off now. There’s more writing to be done, and all of that other stuff I mentioned earlier, too.
Once again, a very big thank you to everyone who reads this site. It’s been a fun ride, these past 1,000 blogs. Here’s to one-thousand more. And a lot more after that. It’s not like I plan to stop at 2,000 or anything. Why am I explaining this to you? You knew that “here’s to one-thousand more” doesn’t mean “and that’s it.”
Thanks for stopping by! Keep on keepin’ on! And have a nice day!
Secret Bonus Chapter: Chapter 8: Ranking the Paper Mario Games!
Wait? You mean there are eight chapters here? Well then, I need to think of something to write…
I got it! With the above mention of Paper Mario, here is my “unofficial” ranking of the Paper Mario games (unofficial in that I haven’t played some of the entries in many a year, and am mostly going by memory). Hopefully I can get around to replaying the entries I haven’t reviewed (including slogging my way to the end of Origami King), as I would like to properly review them all some day.
Anyway, here’s my ranking of the Paper Mario series.
7: Paper Mario: Sticker Star
Tragically, Sticker Star kind of marked the end of Mario RPGs. The Mario & Luigi series would continue with two more entries afterwards, but both Dream Team and Paper Jam (the latter of which served as a crossover between Mario & Luigi and Paper Mario) were watered down disappointments of what came before (Dream Team at least still had some original characters, but Paper Jam went all in with the bizarre “No more originality allowed!” mentality that Sticker Start started). This isn’t about Mario & Luigi, though, it’s about Paper Mario.
That’s the sad thing about it though, Sticker Star effectively killed everything people loved about Paper Mario. No more RPG elements, no more partners, no more original characters, no more strategy, no more…anything really.
But at least it had that sticker gimmick! Guh-hyuk! Let me see if I can make any sense of Paper Mario: Sticker Star’s Sticker mechanic: Instead of Mario and a partner having their own moves for battle, all of Mario’s actions used consumable stickers. Because this game hates RPGs (while still using a turn-based battle system), you didn’t gain experience points and level up to get stronger. Instead, your rewards for winning battles were either A) more stickers or B) coins…for buying more stickers. So you use these consumable items in battle, so that you can get more of these consumable items for battle… There’s absolutely no point to the battle system.
Worse still, boss fights could only be won by using very specific stickers (I think they were referred to as “Things.” The creativity is just astounding). Without those “Things” the boss fights were literally unbeatable. So again, no strategy, just use the boss-specific “Thing” and that’s it, you win!
Honestly, I think Sticker Star is up there with the likes of Metroid: Other M as one of the worst games Nintendo has ever made. It killed the Mario RPGs. That right there is heartbreaking.
6: Paper Mario: The Origami King
It was tough deciding which game was worse between Color Splash and Origami King. While Color Splash continued with Sticker Star’s nonsensical formula, it at least improved it somewhat. But Origami King tried to (needlessly) change up the Paper Mario formula once again, and created something that was every bit as pointless as Sticker Star (though with maybe some added charm). So I decided Origami King is the worse of the two.
The thing that really irks me about Origami King is how it pretends like it’s trying to reach out to fans of the original Paper Mario games. It acts like partner characters are back, except these partners are controlled by AI, have literally one attack (which usually misses anyway), and are characters like a generic Bob-omb named Bob-omb! The Bob-omb named Bob-omb even mentions that he used to have a friend, a fellow Bob-omb who was also named Bob-omb! Isn’t that totally funny? It’s not like it’s an example of the many drawbacks that come with the series’ bizarre enforced limitations to not introduce original characters or anything.
Then there are the battles. Origami King would have you believe proper turn-based battles made a comeback, but again, it’s just a huge gimmick where you have to line up enemies in a set amount of time, and though the items aren’t one-time consumables anymore, they still wear out eventually and you have to replace them. Naturally, you don’t gain experience points or level up for battling, you just get coins to buy more items for battling that wear out during battle. Again, what’s the point?!
And don’t get me started on boss battles, where you have to move to a certain space on the board in order to attack the boss, but the bosses can often change the board around as you’re moving, rendering your strategy pointless.
All the more baffling is that these changes were made to supposedly make the game more kid-friendly. But it’s so convoluted I can’t imagine very many kids would have much fun with it. Kids seem to like the RPG elements of Pokemon, so what was so bad about Paper Mario being an RPG again?
5: Paper Mario: Color Splash
The Wii U edition of Paper Mario was revealed to little fanfare. Probably because it decided to go the same route as Sticker Star, and Nintendo knew people wouldn’t be happy about it. It’s one of the most obnoxiously stubborn video games ever made.
At the very least, Color Splash is an improvement over Sticker Star, even if it shares many of its poor design choices (consumable items for battle, no partners, bosses that require the use of a specific item). Though at least this time around, there was some semblance of character progression, since Mario needed to paint the environment with his hammer, and battling could result in Mario levelling up his hammer to have more paint. Hey, any improvement over Sticker Star is something.
I suppose at the very least, Color Splash’s insistence in following suit with Sticker Star meant it didn’t pretend like it was trying to bring back old fans as well, like Origami King would eventually do. Stubborn though it may be, at least this entry was honest.
4: Super Paper Mario
I’m going to be a little controversial here, because some people absolutely love this game to death. But I feel like Super Paper Mario is where things started to go wrong for the series. Now, it’s not a bad game like Sticker Star, but it did start the trend of Nintendo and Intelligent Systems way overthinking what changes needed to be made to Paper Mario.
Change can be a good thing, of course. The mainline Mario series is always changing, and it’s a big reason why I think it deserves its praise as gaming’s best series. But did Paper Mario really need to change so drastically by its third entry?
To be fair, at the time, Super Paper Mario’s changes were a one-off experiment. That’s fine, but it’s a shame Nintendo decided from then on out, Paper Mario needed to be completely revamped.
I have fond memories of Super Paper Mario. It was fun, funny, and contained some original ideas. It abandoned the turn-based nature of the previous two Paper Marios in favor of a platformer with RPG elements. It’s not a terrible idea, though the fact that the mainline Mario games are already platformers does make the change a bit questionable. Maybe a more Symphony of the Night-style Mario action game would have justified the change more? But I digress.
The issue with Super Paper Mario, though, is that despite the change to a much faster paced genre, it has even more story and dialogue than the previous Paper Mario games. One reason why stories, cutscenes and dialogue boxes work for turn-based RPGs is because they’re already a slower paced genre. But turning an RPG into a platformer, while doubling down on the RPG storytelling seems conflicting with itself. I’m not saying platformers can’t have stories, but when Super Paper Mario has more story than the RPG Paper Mario games, it brings the platformer side of thing down to a crawl.
I remember enjoying Super Paper Mario, and hopefully I’ll revisit it in the near future. But it was the game that made the cracks in the foundation of the series.
3: Bug Fables: The Everlasting Sapling
And now the quality ramps up considerably.
Nintendo fans have made it no secret that they crave the return of the original Paper Mario formula. And for some unknowable reason, Nintendo continues to ignore them. So a small independent studio who were fellow fans of classic Paper Mario decided if Nintendo isn’t going to listen, they’ll just make their own Paper Mario instead.
Bug Fables: The Everlasting Sapling really is classic Paper Mario in all but the names and faces. A wonderful (kind of) return to form for something fans have been starved of for far too long. It should also rank alongside games like Undertale, Shovel Knight and Hades as one of the best indie games around (and Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night. Does that count as indie?).
Turn-based battle system with action commands? Check. Paper-thin characters but no overbearing paper gimmicks? Check. Character progression? Check. The only thing missing are partner characters, but that’s because Bug Fables has a set team of three characters right out the gate. That’s fine. It had to do something different to stand out.
I think my only real issue with Bug Fables is that the difficulty can be a little inconsistent. I actually found some earlier segments to be more challenging than some later stages of the game. It’s not a big deal, but I guess you’d ideally want a game’s difficulty to gradually increase as you go (though it’s not an RPG, Donkey Kong Country 2 is probably the best example of a game increasing in difficulty piece by piece. So look to that for inspiration).
Somewhat hilariously, Bug Fables made its way to the Switch mere months before Origami King. While the latter may have boasted the Paper Mario name, Bug Fables was the Paper Mario you’d been looking for.
Oh, how wonderful it was (and is) to play a game like this again. Why oh why can’t Nintendo see why people love this so much?
2: Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door
The second entry in the Paper Mario series seems to be the fan-favorite: Partly because it was a fantastic game, and partly because it was the last time Paper Mario was the Paper Mario we knew and loved. Like many great sequels, The Thousand-Year Door is bigger than the original in almost every way: the story is darker and more serious, the writing is more colorful and witty, there’s more sidequests. Overall, a great sequel.
With that said, I do find some of the partners to be a little bit of a downgrade from the first game (the first few partners even come across as the B-team counterparts to those of the N64 original), and while there’s nothing wrong with the battle system, there’s nothing wrong with it because it was basically just carried over from the first game. My point being that The Thousand-Year Door is bigger than the first game in pretty much every way, but maybe not as innovative in the little details. But now I’m being nitpicky.
If it ain’t broke don’t fix it, I suppose. It certainly beats the “we know fans love the original, but we’re choosing to ignore that and strip away everything they loved from the series” mentality of later entries.
It’s easy to see why The Thousand-Year Door remains so beloved. It took the foundation of the original Paper Mario, and made it into as grand and epic of a journey as any Mario has ever seen. It should rank highly among any list of Nintendo RPGs (a category which I feel doesn’t get the credit it really deserves).
Of course, I think I’ve made it obvious what my number one pick is…
1: Paper Mario
Sometimes, you just can’t beat the original. Though I guess in this case, Nintendo stopped trying to do that long ago. But again, I digress.
What makes the original Paper Mario still stand out twenty years on is the purity of it all. This is the most “Mario” of the Mario RPGs. But I mean that in a meaningful sense, not in the “it can only have characters from the main series and nothing original” sense of the newer entries. It’s the most “Mario” in that it feels like a mainline entry turned into an RPG: Bowser is the villain, but there’s a twist in that he now possesses the wish granting Star Rod to make himself invincible. Peach still needs rescuing, but there are moments between Mario’s adventure where the player takes control of her which prove her resourcefulness. Classic Mario enemies return, but often as friendly NPCs and even Mario’s party members. And while its battle system is turn-based, the action commands make it still feel like a traditional Mario game.
Granted, Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars beat Paper Mario to the punch on the whole (and at the expense of undermining this whole ranking, I think Super Mario RPG is the superior game. But it’s also like my favorite game of all time so no harm there, I suppose). Though Super Mario RPG kind of feels like its own thing (one that Nintendo and company really should revisit someday, mind you), whereas Paper Mario feels like it could be part of the mainline Mario series, despite its change in genre.
Paper Mario may have been the only noteworthy RPG on the Nintendo 64. But if the console could only have one, it was lucky to have this one. It’s probably my favorite Nintendo 64 title (though Super Mario 64 and Banjo-Tooie need to be mentioned), one of the system’s few truly timeless games, and one of my favorite RPGs.
The Thousand-Year Door may have added to it. Bug Fables may have paid homage to it. And subsequent Paper Mario games have done… whatever the hell they’ve done to it. But whenever I think of Paper Mario at its best, I always go back to the N64 original.
Chapter 9: The Actual Last One
Well, that last chapter certainly was totally planned from the start and not hastily written at the eleventh hour. Okay, so actually it had been planned for this 1,000th post, then it was one of the ideas I dropped from this celebratory post so I could get it done. But then, like the madman I am, I decided to add the Paper Mario ranking in here after all at the last minute.
There are, however, still those few extra ideas I had that will have to wait for another day. I actually mean that this time. They’ll have to wait. Hopefully you like them in the not-too-distant future.
So yes, now I’ll leave you with a big, fat T H A N K Y O U ! Thanks for your readership, whether it be continued or first time readership. And also thanks to movies and video games for being so great and giving me something I want to write about.
It took a while to get to this 1,000th blog, but I enjoyed every minute of it (well, except maybe when I reviewed CrazyBus and Super Man 64. Those were hard times). Here’s to many, many more!
In a year that at once seems to simultaneously be zooming by and trudging through its own eternity, we are reaching the endgame of 2020. Here’s hoping 2021 will be merciful.
Thank the maker such a dreadful year is almost over, though I have to admit, not everything in 2020 has been bad. Just mostly bad. Very, very mostly.
Still, let’s try to look at the positives: Jim Carrey’s portrayal of Dr. Robotnik was fun. Onward was another jewel in Pixar’s crown. Crash Bandicoot 4 was a great return to form for its series. The new season of the Mandalorian is off to a good start. And Animal Crossing: New Horizons exists.
See, not all has been bad in 2020.
Anyways, my apologies that October was such a slow month here at the Dojo. In fact, in terms of the number of posts I made, October 2020 had the fewest posts (four) for a single month in this site’s nearly six-year history. Though in all fairness, three of those four were decently lengthy, relatively speaking. Apologies also go to me once again failing to write a proper Halloween post this year (though I did do something for the occasion by finally writing my review of Luigi’s Mansion 3. And it only took a year to the day of its release!). I’ve been meaning to make revised versions of my past Halloween-based top five lists (particularly “Top 5 Video Game Skeletons” because why the hell did I include Scorpion on there when I hate Mortal Kombat?). Hopefully next October I (and everyone else) will be feeling more Halloween-y.
2020 has been hard on everyone, and I’m no exception. October had me feeling pretty low, so I wasn’t feeling particularly creative and needed something of a break. But I’m feeling somewhat better now and I have more than a few things in store in the coming months.
It felt great to finally knock that Luigi’s Mansion 3 review off of my to do list, so I’ll hopefully get around to my other oft-delayed reviews soon, such as Animal Crossing: New Horizons, Paper Mario: The Origami King *Groan* and Return of the Jedi. Additionally, with the end of the year approaching, I should be doing my “Best of 2020” awards in the not-too-distant future. Talking of which, yes, I actually do plan on writing something of a Favorite Films of 2019 list sometime soon (because what better time to name your favorite things of a certain year than November of the following year?). Because it’s taking me so long to get around to it, and due to my general indecisiveness on the subject, I may just make a shortlist of favorites as opposed to a top 10 countdown or something.
But that’s not all, folks!
Something I’ve wanted to do since the tail-end of 2019 was to make some “Best of the Decade (2010s)” lists. And yeah, I get it, I’ll be at least a year late in writing such things after everyone else. But I guess I’ll just emphasize “Best of the 2010s” in their titles as opposed to “Best of the Decade.”I don’t know how many such lists I’ll make, but I at least want to make one for my favorite films, video games, and video game soundtracks of the 2010s. Maybe more, but it’s already taken this long so we’ll have to wait and see.
I should also be reaching two big milestones with this site soon, as I’m approaching my 400th video game review and, well before that, my 1000th total blog on this site! Well, it will probably be more like my 1,005th or 1,006th, but I removed a small handful of the posts from this site’s early days (they were crap), so they don’t count. You could call it quality control, though I don’t know if anything I write would suggest any semblance of quality. So yeah, my 1,000th blog will be happening in not too long. Who knows, depending on how productive November and December are for this site, I may combine my 1,000th post with this year’s Christmas Special (that’s not a promise though).
Coinciding with said 1,000th blog, I plan to make some changes to the site as well. What those changes entail entirely, I don’t know yet. I don’t think I’ll be revising my rating system again or anything, but I may revise some of my past reviews. Going to try to stop with the flip-flopping, go over everything and make them more definitive. I mean, WordPress itself has recently changed (you can tell I still haven’t gotten the hang of things with the size and placements of pictures and gifs in my recent posts), so why don’t I? Not that WordPress’s changes have influenced this decision, that’s all on the “1,000 blogs seems like a good place for a fresh start” thing.
Anyway, if you, for whatever reason, get some kind of jolly from my writing, I hope you look forward to that stuff. And I promise I didn’t just write this post due to my lack of content in October and as a thinly-veiled means to get closer to the aforementioned 1,000th post with some filler.