At least one-hundred and fifty, or more to see! To be a Pokemon master is my destinyyy!
That’s right, the Dojo has finally amassed one-hundred and fifty video game reviews! All of which were written by yours truly, of course. Perhaps one day I’ll sucker in some poor souls to help me write this stuff.
Anyway, with these one-hundred and fifty video game reviews, I figured it would be a fun idea to rank each and every last one of those games from least to greatest. While we’re at it, I wonder if anyone can find a way to make a Pokerap parody out of these games?
I’ll keep this introduction short since we have a lot of games to cover. For my full reviews of each game, just check out the Game Reviews page.
Before we move on to the rankings, keep these little notes in mind.
- Games are ranked by the score I gave them in their respective reviews. Each number scored is akin to its own category, so a game that scored an 8.0, for example, will be weighted against all the other 8.0 games. The list will begin with the lowest score of 1, and will gradually get higher as each game within each score gets better and better.
- These games are all ranked by personal taste and how well I think they hold up. Things like historical significance and the like don’t matter here at all.
- This is not my long-promised list of favorite video games (if it were, why would I be putting the games I graded badly on here?). Some of my favorite games do appear here towards the top of course, and may give you a sneak peak into my upcoming favorites of all-time list. But said favorites of all-time list will be happening at a later date, after I’ve reviewed even more games and stuff.
- The top four are basically interchangeable. Don’t hold it against me if I say something that contradicts this list later.
That’s really all you need to know. Now, let’s see how these 150 games stack up against each other!
150: The Wizard of Oz
It’s a platform game where you fall through the platforms, and one of the characters can’t jump. Need I say more?
149: Superman (Nintendo 64)
Please stop making me fly through rings!
148: Batman Forever
Abominable controls. You press up slightly before you press the select button to shoot a grappling hook straight up. Yeah…
147: Lester the Unlikely
Worst video game character ever.
146: Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Sub-Zero
More abominable controls. It’s downright painful to play.
145: Shaq Fu
It’s a fighting game where you play as Shaq, you travel to another dimension, and fight a bunch of weird characters to save some kid or something.
144: Mario’s Time Machine
Oh boy, I always wanted to play a Mario game where you have to do homework!
143: Mario is Missing
Marginally better than Mario’s Time Machine.
142: South Park (Nintendo 64)
Acclaimed television series. Awful first-person shooter.
141: Rugrats Scavenger Hunt
Take Mario Party, then remove all of the fun and all of the Mario characters, and replace it with the Rugrats. There you go. Rugrats Scavenger Hunt.
140: Rabbids Land
Take Mario Party, then remove all of the fun and all of the Mario characters, and replace it with the Rabbids. There you go. Rabbids Land.
139: Metroid: Other M
One of the worst first-party games to ever appear on a Nintendo console, and without a doubt the worst Metroid game ever. At least Samus is still smokin’.
138: ClayFighter 2: Judgement Clay
Get it? ClayFighter 2: Judgement Clay! Like Terminator 2: Judgement Day! Hahahahaha! Yeah…this is a bad fighter.
It’s basically the same as ClayFighter 2, but since this one made the mistakes first instead of repeating them, it’s slightly, slightly more forgivable.
136: Turok: Dinosaur Hunter
A lot of people still hold Turok on N64 in high regard. But take off the nostalgia goggles for even a moment and it’s obvious that the game has aged like milk. The controls are just awful.
135: WCW/nWo Revenge
Another N64 title that has aged poorly. But at least here you can rename Bill Goldberg something like “Mr. Fluffy Bunny Pants.” So that’s something…
134: ClayFighter 63 1/3
At least there are combos this time.
133: Castlevania Judgement
Maria’s storyline involves her wanting bigger boobs. And the controls are horrible. Thank heavens for the music!
Just keep going right. And that’s it. But hey, it’s indie and has “atmosphere” so… OHMIGOSHARTISTICMASTERPIECE10/10!!1!
A game all about making sounds…and you can’t even save the sounds you make. Also, it spawned the worst Smash Bros. stage ever.
130: Bioshock Infinite
Self-aggrandizement at its most blatant. Ill-conceived social commentaries make up for generic gameplay, right?
129: Paper Mario: Sticker Star
If you don’t count the aforementioned “edutainment” titles as real Mario games, then Paper Mario: Sticker Star may be the worst real Mario game out there, considering it gutted the Paper Mario formula of all its depth and replaced it with a battle system that’s tedious, boring and pointless.
128: Star Wars: Shadows of the Empire
It probably seems like I pick on N64 games at this point. But I’m sorry, many of them just don’t hold up. I loved Shadows of the Empire as a kid, but playing it now it just feels like a clunky mess. And don’t get me started on those pitch black areas.
127: Mickey Mania
Surprisingly fluid animation can’t make up for boring gameplay and uninspired level design.
126: Mortal Kombat 4
Those cutscenes sure are hilarious.
125: Yoshi’s Story
Considering that Yoshi’s Island is one of the greatest video games of all time, the fact that its sequel, Yoshi’s Story, could best be described as shallow, boring and mediocre make it one of Nintendo’s biggest blunders.
124: Game & Wario
The reason why WarioWare works is because it gives players hundreds of microgames to play in quick succession for a hilarious bit of gaming nonsense. So why the Wii U installment, titled Game & Wario, decided to ditch that idea in favor of a small handful of slightly larger mini-games with little replay value is anyone’s guess.
A prime example of a good concept gone flat.
122: Mighty No. 9
Possibly the most disappointing video game of all time.
121: Crash Bandicoot
Crash Bandicoot is awesome, and I’m happy that the first three games will be getting remade for the PS4. With that said, the original Crash Bandicoot has not aged well, mainly due to the convoluted saving system. Hopefully the PS4 remake works out those kinks. Thank goodness the PSOne sequels still hold up.