Holy crap! It’s Christmas already?
I mean… Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, everybody!
Today is the day in which we celebrate the special things in life: friends, family, peace on Earth, goodwill towards men, and jolly, overweight prowlers clad in red who deliver Playstations or coal underneath your decorative tree depending on whether you’ve been good or bad during the previous twelve months (Santa Clause is such a badass. He’s up there with Popeye in terms of badass-ery).
Christmas serves as a double celebration here at the Dojo, however, as it was on Christmas Day that I first launched Wizard Dojo! Well, technically I launched the site earlier in December of 2014, but I didn’t post any content on it until Christmas Day, to make it more special (and easier to remember). So Christmas is the “official” anniversary.
As is Wizard Dojo tradition, this most festive of days serves as an excuse to write some long-winded babbling, compile some lists, give out some awards, and bombard you with gifs!
Before we get started, I’d just like to be serious for a (brief) moment and wish you all happy holidays.
Merry Christmas!
Happy Hanukkah!
Happy Kwanzaa!
Happy Festivus!
Happy Rusev Day!
Happy Decemberween!
Happy everybody! Happy holidays to all, and here’s to a happy 2023! Hopefully in the next year this site will be more productive and not so reliant on movie and video game anniversaries for content.
Anyway, I’m rambling. Let’s move on to the Wizard Dojo Christmas festivities proper.
Chapter 1: The Best of Wizard Dojo in 2022
2022 may not have been Wizard Dojo’s most productive year (I hate how many years in a row I’ve had to say that), but I did write a few things that I think are worthwhile, if I say so myself.*
*it literally is only me who says so.
Here’s hoping that the Dojo’s 2023 will bear a little more fruit, but here’s the stuff I wrote in 2022 that I particularly liked.
Video Game Reviews
Video game reviews were once the bread and butter here at the Dojo, but sadly it seems I’ve slowed down considerably over the past few years in that regard. So I’ll make special note to rectify that in 2023. Including catching up on reviews for games released in 2022 and even 2021 (because how have I still not reviewed Metroid Dread?). At any rate, here are my video game review highlights of 2022.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder’s Revenge
Movie Reviews
I have a few mixed feelings about my movie review output this past year. On the plus side, I reviewed a decent amount of movies released during 2022, all things considered (though there are still a few I’ve been meaning to write on). On the downside, I only reviewed movies released in 2022. I usually have a couple of older movie reviews in the mix. Ah well, guess it’s just something else to prioritize in 2023.
Other Stuff
“Other stuff” – the official, scientific terminology – suggests the majority of things I wrote that don’t fit squarely into the review territory. Mostly the aforementioned anniversary celebrations (I am a festive individual, after all), but some other nice things in there as well.
Things Breath of the Wild 2 Should Learn From Elden Ring
My Second Trip to the Academy Museum of Motion Pictures
Super Mario Galaxy 2 Turns 12!
Magnavox Odyssey Turns 50, and Super Mario Bros. Turns 37
Spirited Away’s 20th US Anniversary!
Nintendo 64 and Super Mario 64’s 26th US Anniversary
Super Mario Odyssey’s 5th Anniversary!
Lists
What, I have to explain to you what a list is? It’s like top 5s and top 10s and stuff of that nature. Unfortunately, I only wrote one such post this year, but it’s a good’n. After all, it’s about Kirby! So you can’t go wrong! Although I admit that my rankings of Kirby’s finest would be switched around slightly since I wrote it. Again, hopefully more lists next year.
Chapter 2: In Honor of Ash Ketchum
He wanted to be the very best, like no one ever was. To catch them was his real test, to train them was his cause…
It was recently announced that Ash Ketchum and (even more surprisingly) Pikachu would soon be retired as the main characters of the Pokemon TV series, with new protagonists set to take over after an epilogue series of episodes for good ol’ Ash and Pikachu.
Yes, the twenty-five year journey of a ten-year old boy finally comes to a close, and I’m not even going to lie, my heart sank when I heard the news. Pokemon has been an indelible part of not only my childhood and those of my generation, but of every generation since. And while Nintendo and Game Freak may release new editions of the Pokemon video games every few years, and the show has seen numerous character (and animation) changes over the years, the one thing that has always been constant within the series were that Ash and Pikachu were at the heart of it. The fact that the series is moving on without them (particularly Pikachu, who became the mascot of the series and one of the most recognizable video game characters of all time because of the TV show), well, it’s a hard pill to swallow.
I admit, I haven’t seen the show in a very long time, but the fact that I haven’t seen it in so long and yet the news of Ash and Pikachu’s departure still got to me the way it did speaks volumes to the impact these characters had on me (and so many others).
I can remember how every kid wanted to be Ash growing up; the excitement to see Ash and Pikachu on the big screen in Pokemon: The First Movie (as well as its admittedly better sequel and threequel), and how sad everyone in the audience was when Ash seemingly died when he turned to stone, and Pikachu tried desperately to wake him up. As a kid, I even wrote and drew a few of my own Pokemon comic books, which of course starred Ash and Pikachu.
A few Nintendo franchises have seen some pretty big shifts over the last few years, such as Breath of the Wild’s departure from the usual Legend of Zelda traditions. But Pokemon without Ash? Pokemon without Pikachu? Now that’s a seismic shift. Hopefully Ash’s journey ends with he and Pikachu coming face-to-face with the legendary Ho-Oh, to bring the series full circle after their encounter with the mythical bird in the very first episode.
I tip my metaphorical hat to you, Ash and Pikachu. Thank you for the countless memories you have given to countless people for over two and a half decades. Pokemon may endure, but it won’t be the same without the story of a boy and his Pikachu at its center.
Please keep Team Rocket around though.
Chapter 3: When Love is Found
Let me start this chapter by saying that The Muppets Christmas Carol is one of the best damn Christmas movies ever made! Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol is already one of the best stories ever, and with its seemingly countless cinematic revisions, it may seem like a bold statement to say that the version involving the Muppets may very well be the best version of A Christmas Carol put to film, but that may very likely be the case. It’s a fantastic interpretation of the classic tale in every sense of the word. From the surprising faithfulness to the source material to the good-natured humor that never gets in the way of serious moments, to Michael Caine being one of the best Ebeneezer Scrooge’s (playing the role straight against Muppets in a way that recalls Bob Hoskins interacting with cartoon characters in Who Framed Roger Rabbit), to that trademark charm of Jim Henson’s creations, The Muppets Christmas Carol has it all.
But for a long while, it didn’t.
That’s because one of the film’s most important moments was omitted from its original theatrical release, but left an impact on many a 90s child when it was included in the film’s original VHS release, only for it to be removed once again in all subsequent releases (to the befuddlement of that same generation of 90s kids).
I am, of course, referring to the musical number “When Love is Gone.” The song that takes place during Scrooge’s trip to his past, when he witnesses the moment he chose money over love. Sung by Scrooge’s one-time love, Belle (Meredith Braun), When Love is Gone is emphatically heart-breaking, especially once the elder/present day Scrooge breaks down into tears as he relives the pain of his past (and when Michael Caine cries, we all cry). It’s one of the most emotional moments in the movie, made all the more apparent as the film ends with a reprise dubbed “When Love is Found.” As a kid, it was one of the first moments I can recall in a movie that really touched me on a deeper emotional level.
So why was it removed in the first place? Because Jeffrey Katzenberg – who was a prominent figure at the Walt Disney Company at the time – found it to be “too sad.” Brilliant deduction there, Sherlock! That’s kind of the whole point! Of course it should be noted that Jeffrey Katzenberg is the same dude who wanted to remove “Part of Your World” from The Little Mermaid (y’know, the song that explains the premise of the entire movie!) and once he moved over to Dreamworks, was responsible for all those obnoxious, cynical animated films in the 2000s. So yeah…
Well, thankfully, we can all rejoice. On December 9th of this year, When Love is Gone was integrated back into The Muppets Christmas Carol on Disney+ in honor of the film’s 30th anniversary (and just out of common sense, I suppose). You just have to go to the film’s “Extras” section and select the “Full Length Version” of the film. I would call it the “As God Intended Version,” but that’s just me.
Because the song plays such an important role in the film’s narrative, and because I have such a strong emotional attachment to it, I had refused to watch The Muppets Christmas Carol – despite its overall quality – on Disney+ until it was made whole. I’ve had Disney+ since it launched, and The Muppets Christmas Carol has been on the service for just as long, but only now do I feel the film can be viewed properly. And I couldn’t be happier.
Chapter 4: WWE Awards for 2022
It seems like forever since I’ve written about pro wrestling here on this site, and that’s probably because I stopped watching it for a little while. WWE had become so wrought with dumb storylines, start-and-stop pushes for wrestlers, utterly dumbfounding booking (especially where Bray Wyatt was concerned), and so many wrestlers being released, that I had to tune out. I know, mainstream North American wrestling now has an alternative with AEW, and New Japan Pro Wrestling is bigger than ever, which is all well and dandy, but I was too burned out for anything wrestling related for a while.
But this past July, the biggest wrestling news story in decades occurred, as WWE Chairman Vince McMahon – whom wrestling fans have always known to have been a pretty terrible guy – was forced out of the company amid controversy. I won’t go into the details here, but when the WWE’s shakeup occurred (especially former wrestler Triple H being promoted to Head of Creative), it got me back into it. And boy (Uncle) Howdy, the difference is night and day! There are still mistakes here and there, of course, but they’re reasonable creative mistakes. Not the failings of an out-of-touch, petty, senile narcissist like they were not so long ago.
Currently WWE’s programming is still the only wrestling I regularly keep track of (no offense to any other wrestling promotions, there are just only so many hours in a day), so I refrain from calling these “Pro Wrestling Awards” and instead I’m just focusing on the WWE side of things.
Anyway, with my renewed interest in this most bizarre and interesting of entertainment industries, let’s get on with the awards.
Best Tag Team: The Usos
No surprise here, seeing as the Usos still currently hold the tag team titles of both the RAW and Smackdown brands, similar to how the “Tribal Chief” of the Bloodline still holds both of WWE’s world titles as of this writing (talking of which, either unify the titles or separate them again, WWE). The Usos’ reign with the Smackdown belts has now even become the longest tag team championship reign in WWE’s entire history. The Usos have continued to be booked as strong, underhanded heel champions, and as part of the Bloodline, are among the best things WWE has going.
Runner-up: The Street Profits
Best Stable: The Bloodline
In other news, the sky is blue. But seriously, the Bloodline actually had some competition this year, with WWE bringing back the idea of wrestling stables in full force (Imperium, The Brawling Brutes, The Judgement Day, etc.). But with Roman Reigns holding both of WWE’s world titles (with his reign as Universal Champion stretching well past two years, which is unheard of in modern wrestling), and the Usos holding both tag belts, they’ve basically been at the forefront of all of WWE’s major storylines this year. And with the additions of Solo Sikoa and Sami Zayn (the latter of whom may be the most entertaining performer in WWE today), not to mention perennial bad guy manager Paul Heyman by their side, the group is more prominent than ever. That will probably end come Wrestlemania, but it’s been a thrilling ride while it’s lasted.
Runner-up: The Judgement Day
Wrestler of the Year: GUNTHER
Although I still question why WWE changed WALTER’s name to GUNTHER, it ultimately doesn’t matter what his name is, because GUNTHER is the best wrestler on the planet today no matter what you call him. No other wrestler puts on as consistently brilliant, more hard-hitting matches. GUNTHER somehow makes his matches feel like both a work of art, and a man being mauled by a bear (with GUNTHER being the bear, of course). His showdown with Sheamus at Clash of the Castle has already been entered into the discussion of Best WWE Matches of All-Time, and his ongoing reign as Intercontinental Champion has given that belt a prestige it hasn’t had in decades. It basically feels as important as the world titles now. It’s hard to imagine (yet easy to believe) that Vince McMahon “didn’t get” GUNTHER, and was ready to bury him before Triple H took the reigns. Bullet dodged.
Runner-up: Bianca Belair
Sports Entertainer of the Year: Sami Zayn
Wrestling purists might not like it, but the goofier “Sports Entertainment” side of wrestling is still an integral part of wrestling. As far as that entertainment goes, no one stood out quite like Sami Zayn in 2022. His constant efforts to win over the Bloodline and ultimately being accepted by them as the “Honorary Uce” is wrestling’s best storyline of the year. It’s been so entertaining, in fact, that when the Bloodline inevitably turns on Sami (or Sami betrays the Bloodline from within), many people think Zayn should be the one to go on to Wrestlemania and dethrone Roman Reigns. I myself am very much in that same camp. The honor will probably go to someone else (Cody Rhodes seems likely), but the storyline for Sami has already written itself. I’ll keep my fingers crossed WWE will capitalize on Sami’s momentum.
Runner-up: The New Day
Best Event: Clash at the Castle
Although it sounds more like the name of a Japanese wrestling event (or the title of an indie game), Clash at the Castle was actually WWE’s first major Premium Live Event to take place in the UK in 30 years (Premium Live Event being the new name WWE gives pay-per-views, because who the hell orders pay-per views anymore?). WWE didn’t half-ass the opportunity for their long-awaited UK comeback either, delivering one of their best “PLEs” in years. Only six matches on the card, all of them ranking from ‘good’ (Liv Morgan vs. Shayna Baszler) to ‘all-time classic’ (GUNTHER vs. Sheamus). No filler in between matches, good booking, a notable heel turn (Dominik Mysterio). Just an excellent show.
Runner-up: Survivor Series WarGames
Match of the Year: GUNTHER vs. Sheamus (Clash at the Castle)
As soon as Sheamus became number one contender for GUNTHER’s Intercontinental Championship for Clash of the Castle, I knew it was going to be a great match. However, the bout exceeded all expectations, delivering one of WWE’s best matches ever.
From before the opening bell rang with GUNTHER and Sheamus’ cohorts (Imperium and the Brawling Brutes, respectively) flying all over the place as the two proper combatants just stared each other down until the last moment when GUNTHER finally put Sheamus away with a simple (yet devastating) clothesline, this match was just an all-out war.
Perhaps this isn’t the same kind of match that usually gets called a “work of art” (no aerial maneuvers, neither wrestler stepping outside of their usual moveset), but it deserves the moniker as much as any of them. You can probably count the number of different moves both men used during the match (kicks, knees, elbows, bodyslams, GUNTHER’s patented chops, etc.), but both men used their movesets in such a way to tell a compelling story. Both GUNTHER and Sheamus walked into the match as heels, but Sheamus’ valiant effort turned him into a hero even in defeat. It’s easily the best match of Sheamus’ career, and it’s up there with GUNTHER’s as well. It kickstarted a career renaissance for Sheamus, who has never been more popular than he is now because of this match (which,I repeat, he lost). Also of note, the match occurred a little over a month after Triple H took over creative control in the company. This match never would have happened under Vince McMahon. I think, years from now, this match will be viewed as a turning point for the promotion.
An absolute five-star classic.
Runner-up: Seth Rollins vs. Cody Rhodes (Hell in a Cell)
Chapter 5: My Most Anticipated Video Games of 2023
2022 was a great year for video games, and 2023 looks to continue its momentum. A number of high profile games have already been revealed, and who knows what else will be announced during the new year?
The following are the five games I’m most looking forward to in 2023. But first, a special mention goes to A Frog’s Tale, an indie game inspired by the Mario RPGs with a rhythm-based battle system, which would have made it onto my list except it’s only tentatively slated for 2023. So until something is made official, it’s in the runner-up spot.
Now, onto the top 5!
5: Pizza Tower
I remember my brother telling me about Pizza Tower about two years ago (it’s apparently been in active development since 2018), but as promising as it sounded, it also seemed like one of those games that would never be finished. Recently, however, a release date for Pizza Tower was revealed, and it’s pretty soon. January 2023!
Pizza Tower is an indie title inspired by the Wario Land sequels (which, looking back, I feel I underrated with my reviews. Something to revisit down the line). You play as a pizza man named Peppino trying to save his pizzeria from getting blown up or something. Like his inspiration Wario, Peppino can’t die, instead gaining transformations from enemy attacks (he can, however, lose the pizza topping he collects along the way).
A return to Wario Land gameplay feels long overdue as it is, so Pizza Tower is already appetizing. But throw on hilariously exaggerated character animations based on 90s cartoons, and Pizza Tower looks like something special.
4: Mina the Hollower
More indie goodness!
Mina the Hollower is the newest title from Yacht Club Games, the creators of Shovel Knight. Yacht Club Games have stated that, if Shovel Knight is the studio’s Mario, then they hope Mina will be their Legend of Zelda.
To be specific, Mina the Hollower looks – both in gameplay and visuals – to be inspired by the Game Boy Zeldas of yesteryear. With Gameboy Color-inspired visuals that harken back to Oracle of Ages and Oracle of Seasons, to a gameplay setup that will intentionally use as few buttons as possible, Mina the Hollower is already looking like a brand new treat from the kings of indie games.
3: Crash Team Rumble
The Crash Bandicoot resurgence continues! After the first three games in the series were gloriously remade for the Playstation 4 in 2017 as Crash Bandicoot: The N. Sane Trilogy, the one-time Playstation mascot has never looked back. A stellar remake of Crash Team Racing followed. After that, a brand-new adventure with Crash Bandicoot 4: It’s About Time. Now, Crash looks to take things to the multiplayer stage once again with Crash Team Rumble!
Admittedly, not a whole lot of details have been revealed for Crash Team Rumble, except that it sounds kind of like a Rocket League-type of team-based multiplayer game, where players take control of different Crash Bandicoot characters (each with their own special abilities), try to collect as much Wumpa fruit as possible, and deliver said fruit to your goal, all while stopping the other team from doing the same. Interestingly, it looks to have the same platformer-style gameplay as the core Crash series, and multiplayer platformers don’t get the love they deserve. Here’s hoping that changes with Crash Team Rumble.
2: Pikmin 4
There’s even less information on Pikmin 4 than there is on Crash Team Rumble. Basically all we know is that Pikmin 4 exists, and that the three original Pikmin types return, and a brief glimpse at some new environments. It’s not exactly a lot to go by. But for me, it’s more than enough to be excited.
We only get a new Pikmin game about once every decade (in this case literally, as 2023 marks 10 years since Pikmin 3 released on the Wii U, which in tern was nine years after Pikmin 2). So it’s always something to savor.
I can’t wait to see what new Pikmin types may be in store, and what crazy creature designs Nintendo has come up with this time. One thing’s for sure, Mario, Zelda and Donkey Kong’s younger sibling series is definitely one to look forward to.
1: The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom
An easy choice for the top spot? Yes. But as I’ve said in the past, oftentimes the obvious choices are obvious for a reason.
It’s a new Legend of Zelda! That right there is reason enough to be excited! More specifically, it’s a rare direct sequel for the series, serving as a follow-up to The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, one of the most acclaimed video games of all time. While I may not want every Zelda game going forward to use Breath of the Wild’s rulebook, I’d be a flat-out liar if I said I don’t want to see more of it.
It seems the big hook to Tears is that now Link can traverse the land above the sky of Hyrule itself, in addition to, well, Hyrule itself. That already makes the game massive, and one of the things I loved about Breath of the Wild is how it made that massive world feel alive with all the things you could do.
Granted, there are some Breath of the Wild quirks I hope get smoothed out (breakable weapons, horses not being worth the trouble, inclusion of proper dungeons), but if Nintendo can make one of the best games of all time even better, that right there is reason to celebrate.
Unless a Super Mario Odyssey 2 or an Elden Ring 2 or a new Donkey Kong Country is announced and released within the next twelve months, I don’t see anything else dethroning The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom as my most anticipated game of 2023.
Chapter 6: The Last One
Once again, my friends, we reach the end of our annual Christmas Special. I know, once upon a time these Christmas Specials had more chapters, plus an epilogue! I promise those days will return, hopefully next year. But in my defense, the newer Christmas Specials have a greater word count, and I’m (relatively) better at writing. So it’s a fair enough trade, I suppose. Plus, with all the stuff I currently have going on, I’m kind of surprised this Christmas Special managed to be as wordy and varied as it did.
So as we wrap up these Christmas festivities here at the Dojo, I’d just like to once again wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! Whatever day you celebrate, I hope it’s as awesome as GUNTHER vs. Sheamus. And have an awesome New Year while you’re at it!
Here’s to a happy and awesome 2023 to the Dojo, and to you!
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from Wizard Dojo!
Wizard Dojo 